DOWN TO EARTH SIMPLE LIVING FORUMS

DOWN TO EARTH SIMPLE LIVING FORUMS
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16 August 2010

Homemaking - the power career

I have just finished reading Radical Homemakers by Shannon Hayes, which was kindly lent to me by my friend and fellow radical homemaker, Sonya, from Permaculture Pathways. I enjoyed the book, and although I was radicalised many years ago and am already doing much of what the book is about, I did get a strong message from it - we need to stand up, be proud of our lives and talk to others about how we live and why we live this way. We need to develop small communities of like minded souls so that what we are doing becomes a common way of being. If we all do that, hopefully those small communities become bigger and young people will learn that having one partner stay at home to keep house, raise children, shop wisely and manage the income, is a valid, significant and acceptable way of living. And not to leave anyone out of this revolutionary equation, those single people, the divorced, widowed and never married out there who work a paid job and who live as simply as they can while they do it, they need to spread their message too. We all need to be role models and show that living a simpler life brings much more than a clean home, connected children, nutritious food and no debt; it brings contentment and enrichment with it, and it is a career.

I have had three careers - I was a nurse, a writer and now I'm a homemaker/housewife. Writing that sentence has highlighted to me just one of the hurdles we face - that of language. When I was a nurse and a writer, everyone knew what those terms meant; with homemaker or housewife they don't. Homemaker is more an American term than an Australian one, and housewife is old fashioned and implies that everyone is married. We need to coin a term that accurately describes this work we do and we need to realise that even though work at home is unpaid work, it has value and it contributes to our countries wealth. I really dislike those terms that make light of our work - domestic goddess, home engineer etc, we need something substantial that describes, in general terms, what we actually do. I do like the term homemaker because it could mean just about anything that is done at home, but I also like home worker.

We all need to help change the perception that happiness is gained by buying it, that economies should grow at the expense of their people and that stepping back from the mainstream idea of buying more than we need, with money we don't have, is a hippy fantasy. And on the more positive side, we need to show our younger people that living this way is empowering, engaging and revolutionary. At the moment young people see staying at home as a drudgery. They have to clean and cook, look after children, and sometimes frail parents, and when the only knowledge you have of those tasks is what is seen on TV or advertising, you start to understand what a negative perception there is in the community about working at home.

We have to show that working at home gives us freedoms that paid work rarely offers. Imagine your first day at a paid job. You're given a range of tasks to do, a time limit in which to do them and standards to meet. All the time someone is watching you, making sure you do everything according to their plan. Now imagine your first day in your new home. You have already talked about your values and needs with your partner, so you set about setting up routines and learning new skills that will support your visions. The sky is the limit. You may do your work to your own rhythm and to whatever standard you set yourself.

You start taking control of your home - this is not a place where you just spend time waiting for your partner to return home. This, my friends, is a work in progress, a place that you want to spend time in, you want to make beautiful, safe and comfortable. You want to create a home that will nurture those who live there and that provides a warm and welcoming feeling to those who visit. You decide on a plan that will see you use your home and the land it sits on to help you live. You decide to grow organic vegetables and fruit in the backyard, get a few chickens, make a worm farm, or keep bees. You want to live an environmentally sound life, to eat organic food, or at the very least, the freshest food you can. You decide to learn as much as possible to cut the cost of living in this healthier and organic way so you set about learning how to make soap, laundry powder, bread, jams, relishes, sauces, and pasta. You start mending torn clothes and household linens, then progress to making gifts and simple clothes for the children, you start knitting and crocheting with natural fibres. In short, you take your new life as the positive empowering career it is and run with it. You make the most of what you have and you reduce your impact on your environment while doing it.

Sure, I agree, no one wants to clean toilets or dirty nappies/diapers, but look at the alternative. Do you want to use a dirty toilet or have your baby unhappy and uncomfortable? Every job has parts that we don't like doing, life is not always about what we want to do. We need to step up to all our tasks - enjoyable and not so enjoyable, just do them and then get back to the rest of it.

I have already seen changes happening. More people are cooking and gardening now than in the past. There has been a revival in home crafts, sewing and knitting. More people are understanding that debt is a life sapping burden and working actively to paid of their debts. Many beneficial things are happening, but we need to drive this along and we need to talk about our lives in a positive way to show others that working in our homes helps build good lives. That might be evident to us but to the general population, it isn't. Let's start talking about the happiness that lies waiting when we live this way and let's show, by example, that housework rewards us with homes we want to spend time in. Stop talking about housework as if it's the last thing you'd want to spend your time on, discover the good in what you do and highlight it. Let's start supporting other women and men in the work they do, no matter what it is, unpaid or paid. We can change things if we start with our own front door and work our way out. Gentle reminders about our way of life, speaking up when we heard someone complaining about housework, writing about this on our blogs, all these things will help make a difference. All it takes is that a lot of us start doing it.

I am doing a soap making class at my neighbourhood centre next month and I'm continuing with my frugal home workshops but I'm also going to think about how I can engage with the young people at our Flexischool and talk with them about this. What will you do? Do you have any great ideas that we could all use to help show that housework is not only radical, empowering and enjoyable, it is also a career? If so, please share.


47 comments:

  1. I'm going to have to checkout that book. It's frustrating when people assume that I sit around doing nothing all day since I don't 'work' anymore. I'm far busier now than i was when I was working as a nurse. What I do is wonderful and rewarding and allows my family great freedoms and closeness that we otherwise wouldn't have. I've been extremely fortunate to find several like minded souls in the past few years. We can enjoy and support each other in this wonderful, albeit, different life that we now lead.

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  2. So glad you enjoyed it Rhonda I found it so validated what we're doing... it was great to have that positive reinforcement that we're on the right track. And the neighbourhood centre is such a pivotal place for so many of those skills - well done on supporting it in the ways you do.

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  3. An excellent post! I so echo everything you have said. In the UK, the drive is to get mothers to work when their babies are very young, and my friends and I despair - the destruction of family life and values is a national tragedy. More people need to demonstrate the alternative.
    Thank you for this post.

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  4. I love this post! Its so true! I work outside the home part time but I also do a lot of work inside the home. I am surprised when people ask me what I do with my time when they learn that I am at home so much. I turn down invitations to have lunch or coffee or go shopping because I am just too busy.

    Right now I am digging post holes and building a fence. When that is finished we will be cutting and chopping wood. I use the chainsaw a lot more than hubby does because I like to. I do all of the garden chores and I drive the tractor, the tiller, the lawnmower and share the snowblowing chores with hubby.

    I think the way society sees the "homemaker" needs to change. We need to see the home as a place where real people live close to the Earth. My "Home" is not a showplace and there are so many more things that truly need to be done with my time. The other things take a backseat, always.

    I, myself, have decided to spend most of my work-at-home time doing the things that I enjoy doing and that truly need to be done, anywhere on the homestead. I let the other things go until they are at the point where an outsider would be horrified, but this is my choice. I can't do it all, so I prioritize. We are the ones living in our home and we rarely "entertain" anyone who is not comfortable with that concept, i.e. dusting is not necessary. If I want to see the picture in the frame, I will wipe it off. Otherwise, I am too busy doing the things that truly NEED to be done or that I prefer to do. I am not a slave to society's standards.

    My floor is usually covered with muddy bare footprints for days, sometimes weeks at a time during peak gardening season, but we don't eat off the floor. (I do clean the toilet every day, but that's because the dog drinks out of it :-)

    All this to say that you can do so much more if you develop your own standards based on the work you see as your prioity and the things you enjoy doing. Let everyone else think what they will. Their opinions are not the important ones.

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  5. One of the ways the joys of a life at home was revealed to me was spending a day in the home of a happy homemaker! I had never understood why this young woman stayed away from most of the weekly social activities at my church apart from the occasional special event - she didn't isolate herself from others but the truth was she was busy at home and she lived out of town so traveling was involved for everything but all the other women would say 'She needs to get out of the house more!' She invited me to her home for a day and what a revelation! There was a beautiful atmosphere in her home, peace reigned. Her children were happy and well behaved. The gardens were well tended, she grew fresh vegetables, baked bread and was an awesome cook. Her home was... well homely - neat and well kept without looking like a show home or overstyled magazine page.
    And she was the most contented person I had ever met. We had all misjudged her. I wanted what she had. I learned in just one visit why she stayed home!
    Maybe those of us who desire to inspire others could learn from her example, open up your home to just one person and let them share in your day - I literally followed this homemaker around as she went about her day. I've never forgotten my visit to her home 18 years ago!

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  6. I too have a University degree and worked but all that changed over 25 years ago with the birth of the first child. No sleep and a 12 week maternity leave was the making of a mental breakdown for me. My husband said forget it. The home and children were more important. I thought so too. But when we went to his work gatherings I didn't feel at all important. Belittled would more then likely be the word I would use.His workmates would ask about the children but never anything about me.I no longer felt a person. This is where maturity comes in. It took that for me to realize there was no better place to be. My house is clean and comfortable and people love to come here. Life is slower and it doesn't matter if I do canning today or tomorrow, I am not on a weekend frenzy like those who work are. I have read an article about the Radical Homemaker in the spring issue of Hobby Home Farm Magazine, and yes Rhonda you are just as the author describes.A real 2010 homemaker. I for one am proud you are.

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  7. Thank you so much for this inspiring post! I don't work outside my home, but I did for years - unfortunately, for the better part of my children's growing up years. If I could only turn back time! I am happy to say that both of my daughters stay at home with their children and they are happy and content as homemakers!

    Homemaking is so rewarding and has so many other benefits than some believe. Hopefully, there will be a change of mind-set in the world and we can get back to being families again.

    Blessings,
    ~Barb

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  8. I couldn't agree with you more! I'm sick and tired of people not recognising what an important and fulfilling job being at home is! I love it -of course there are tough days, but that is life. I am at home raising 3 teenaged daughters with hubby working. It is full-on, but I hope I'm instilling in my girls that life is not just about paid work and deadlines, but about family, love and belonging.

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  9. An excellent post Rhonda and one that validates the importance of home and that connection to the well being of family life. I enjoy your blog and it has inspired me in many ways. Kindest regards, Ann

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  10. This book is sitting on my bedside table. Can't wait to read it.

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  11. Very well put! Thank you so much for this post, Rhonda. I finished reading the Hayes book several weeks ago and was so inspired by it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences as a homemaker. You've given me alot to think about. I love being a full time stay at home homeschooling mom, but I sometimes fall into the "Oh! woe is me! I work so hard, but earn nothing." trap that is everywhere in mainstream society. I still have a few issues to overcome it seems. I always look forward to your posts as I feel my choices and our way of life completely validated and embraced!!

    Thank you again, Rhonda

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  12. Another good post, Rhonda :) :) :) I have been thinking a lot about this lately and even more so the last few weeks...about living simply...I'm 30-something and in my family I was raised that homemaking is to be RESPECTED. It's a position of honor...so nothing to make light of...that's for sure!! Now for myself, I do have to work because I'm single..BUT I am about ready to write down a list of guidelines for how I spend my money, what I eat etc...everything I can do right now to live more simply...To take it a step furhter, I'll do this challenge for a ONE YEAR and see what happens!!! I think that would be really interesting.

    Hmm..for young people..well, let's see...for myself, it helped as a first step to start keeping track of my spending. I had to know where my money was going FIRST before I could make any decisions about how to live more simple and in what areas I could do that...Then I take things one small step at a time. The way you write about it here, I think would be perfect for the flexischool!!! It's easy lessons full of wisdom and fun, too!!! Keep us posted on what you decide to teach!!! Love and hugs from Oregon, Heather :)

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  13. Good morning Rhonda.
    Thankyou for these encouraging thoughts about homemaking. You are right, we need to work to share the positives of our work in our homes. I too like the term Homemaker, it illustrates for me the ideas of building a home and a family lifestyle that benefits the people of the home - not just the housework, but why we invest our time and energies into housework. A lot of ideas in one little word, but that's why I like it.

    I also wanted to let you know that I have linked to this article from my own blog, I hope that's ok.

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  14. Thank you for your regular reminders of the validity and importance of our chosen life Rhonda. I am a 'homemaker' whose youngest child has just started school. The question of "What are you going to do with your time?" from other people has been getting to me lately.
    Last week I agreed to do a day of teaching at my old workplace, what a culture shock! It was boring, bleak and tiring. I have realised I can't fit back into that old role of full-time worker outside the home. You constantly give me reassurance that what I have chosen to do is enough and is crucial to my family's wellbeing. Thanks.

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  15. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the importance of homemaking. How wonderful to spread the word about the importance of this job! LOVE your blog (and I'm one of your many followers).

    Warmly, Michelle

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  16. Rhonda I so needed this today, thank you. As you know I'm not home full time but I regard myself first as a homemaker. On the weekend we had friends over for a meal, friends we have known for forty years, I found their visit very depressing. Every topic of conversation was wheeled around to [their] consumerism. I wasn't in the least envious but I found it tedious and sad, quite sad. We have moved in a different direction from them and I'm glad we have but I woke up this morning feeling quite depressed, you have given back my optimism. Thanks.

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  17. This is a really tough subject. I'm a stay at home mum, I love that my kids get be here with me and don't have to go to daycare while I work to gain just enough money to pay for same childcare. I love that I get to help form these little people that are going to become adults one day- not missing out on any important milestones. I love cooking and knowing that I feed our family really well and save us a lot of money by doing so. I am proud of the way we live, and the huge effort we put in to our family...
    But... Sometimes its still hard, when I am constantly answering questions of when I'm going back to work, when are the kids starting daycare, oh your poor, poor husband doing all the work. I know in my heart (and my husband feels the same) that we are doing the right thing for our family, but sometimes, just sometimes it gets tiring being 'the odd one out' all the time.

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  18. Rhonda, thank you so very much for sharing this post with us. As a 25 year old woman who tomorrow is starting on her own homemaking adventure (still working part-time from home, but it's a start!), I've read your previous posts with relish. I can't begin to tell you how excited I am to start my own home routine! It is important work that I will be doing and luckily my husband agrees. If we all spread the word, we can start a revolution :-) Love from Pennsylvania!

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  19. Wow Rhonda, what a great post and at a great time for me!

    I am a stay at home Mum (I work one day a week) with a great husband and two beautiful kids. Recently though I have been struggling to find contentment, happiness - whatever you want to call it. I know I should be grateful for our health and happiness as it is, but....

    Your posts are brilliant and I can only hope to reach your level of happiness. Let me assure you that yes you do "engage with the young people".

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  20. Wonderful post (again!) Rhonda, you have often provided me with a lift-me-up when I've needed it. I'm looking forward to the day where I might have a friend or two "in real life" as well as on the net who live with the same values... in the meantime I'm very grateful to be able to tune into your wise words! Thank you :o)

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  21. It's hard to come up with a name that hasn't already got negative connotations. I have used various titles over the years, a widely recognised one being "home duties".
    I think the old word "Chatelaine" is an interesting one. Meaning the powerful woman in charge of a large household or castle. It also referred to the circlet of keys in her possession, that controlled the valuables. She was the one with the power in all household tasks. These days we could call these keys the things which are pivotal in the running of a simple modern household. I think it is about taking charge of your own household, and not handing over the keys to your health, diet, clothing, prosperity etc to the big conglomerates.

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  22. One of your wonderful posts that speaks volumes to me Rhonda. After years of study and working earning good money, I'm now happiest in my current role as a stay at home mum. Growing veggies, baking bread, washing nappies. Simple pleasures. These years with my little people are precious and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

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  23. Thank you Rhonda for all your words lately. I read your blog a lot, flipping through the archives and taking notes of things I can use.
    Lately though, with my growing discontent with my paid work - and it's well paid work - your posts have been ringing bells for me.
    Thank you for giving me so much food for thought, and hope that there's more to life than earning money in a job that makes me miserable.
    - Jen (http://grow-it-eat-it.tumblr.com)

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  24. I loved Shannon Hayes' book and it (along with subsequently finding your blog) has helped me to articulate why I am so very committed to be at home (even though I find it hard and am on many steep learning curves). I feel like I can finally say this without feeling like I'm letting down the 'sisterhood'. I enjoyed the way Hayes upheld households as units, groups of people who really must strive together to build a live together (not the fractured 'coexisting but independent individuals' we've been encouraged to become, for largely economic reasons).

    Thank YOU for your continued example, wisdom and passion for educating the masses. The message is getting through, trickling through. I'm proof.

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  25. Hi Rhonda *waves* :) I've come across your blog by way of the kidspot top 50 awards.

    I just wanted to say Thank you. Thank you so much for such a wonderful post. As a 26 year old stay at home mum to three little ones I really struggle with societies view on what and who the 'homemaker' is. It annoys me that my childless career minded friends look apon me with pity. I really love staying at home and doing my job here, but there is always that niggle in the back of my mind that says I am not achieving all I can be. That in some way I need to be 'out there' 'being productive'. It's pretty ridiculous, but it's defenately a realism for a lot of mums this day and age. I think it's really sad. But seeing a post like this does really reaffirm my belief in myself and my job. I just wish more people AND society would really try to help change peoples perceptions. Thank you again for giving me the confidence to be proud of my lifestyle choice. xxx Shilo

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  26. Well said and articulated, Rhonda(You are a lady after one's own heart:)!

    xoxoxo

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  27. I'm a homemaker at heart I guess. In this current season, my husband feels that it is best that I work outside of the home. We are aggressively paying off our mortgage. I understand his reasons, but I place more value on the work I do inside our home - cooking from scratch, gardening, thrifitng, learning the homemaking skills I was never taught. I started my blog to encourage and support others who might be in a similar situation as mine - working but whose heart is really at home.

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  28. wonderful article!
    I was 17 when I married 19 years ago and 18 when we had our first child. The first doctor I tried out said to me " Housewife, huh? What are you going to be when you grow up?"
    it shocked me so much, I couldn't think of what to say!

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  29. This is a great reminder. I think young people would have a good response to this, as I did, because not only is it new to us, but it makes sense. We all see that buying things doesn't satisfy, that there is never enough money to make us happy, that even the rich and famous are still looking for something more.
    The Girl in the Pink Dress

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  30. Preach on! I too have read the book and found it very inspiring. I am sick to death of having to explain to people that no, I do not sit around and watch soap operas and eat bon bons because I CHOOSE to stay at home. I am very fulfilled and never bored. When your days are filled with meaningful tasks, there is no need for anything else!

    Stephanie :)
    www.simplicitymom.blogspot.com

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  31. Well said!

    I too read this book and posted about it (http://theurbantrowel.blogspot.com/2010/08/radical-homemakers.html)

    After 21 years as a stay-at-home mom, farmer's wife, and apparently radical homemaker, it is nice to see some validation for this important career.

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  32. Another great post! I have just recently finished Radical Homemakers as well, and found it very inspiring!

    One thing I am considering doing, to call people back to the simple pleasures, and away from the speedy pace of life, is to write letters by hand to send to family and friends, writing about whatever seems appropriate. Perhaps including a photograph or even a sketch of the garden, wildlife on our property, or a hand-crafted project we are working on. With the ease of emailing, getting personal letters by mail delivery has become a rare treat. I think people will be touched at being thought of in such a personal way, and no one can deny that a tangible letter is much more satisfying to receive than an email. This is one way I have thought of to share the abundant, simple life with those caught in the high technology rat race.

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  33. I think (if we have a family and I stay home), that if I cant have the title homemaker, or homesteader. Maybe I will take domicile manager...

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  34. This really needs to be brought to the attention of many, especially when it comes to single mums such as myself. The pressure to go out and get a job as soon as possible is huge. Not every single mum on the planet is a "scrounger" but where is the support if one of these mums wants to stay home and raise her children? Where is the choice?

    For my part, it means I have to live on tax credits and disability - and I worked for years; but I'm seen as the Problem, not as the Solution. That I'm making myself available to deal with every single issue my son has, working with him, working with his school, his social worker, making myself ill to be his advocate, well, none of that is important. I don't have a real job.

    What I really want to see is the full support of every woman, whether she has a partner or not, who decides to be a homemaker and dedicate her time to her family and her home. Not all of us are sitting at home watching soaps and scoffing choccies - but even if we aren't, the stereotypes remain. I've gotten to the point where I don't care, but I know other single mums who feel pressured going back to work even if they don't want to.

    Chin up, sisters, and do what you wanna do.

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  35. I was so thankful to see your new post. I have also planned to post on this subject as well. I have been wrestling with the decision to follow my heart, or follow the "peer pressure" I feel from others to have a career. I returned to school last semester in my quest for a career. I was so very thankful for the opportunity to attend and get high marks, proving to myself that I could succeed at school and have a career if I chose to. However, my heart is at home. My struggle was with the opinions of those outside of our home that expected me to work because both adults in the home now work. I am so very blessed to have a husband who fully supports me being at home and nurturing my family. After many late nights, following his encouragement, I have laid down the struggle that I feel. I am following my heart and ignoring those that intentionally or not make me feel guilty for taking care of our home and family. I am providing a nurturing and loving environment for my family when they return home at the end of a long day at work and school. I know in my heart of hearts this is what I am meant to do and only hope that I can provide encouragement to others that wish to do the same as well.

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  36. Thank you so much for writing this. I wholeheartedly agree with you - we GAIN so much by living this lifestyle. Your blog is a joy to read and I have learned so much from reading it the past few months.

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  37. Ok, after having slept on it and thought about it some more, I'll expound a bit more and try to answer the last question you asked.
    Still on the same theme.
    As chatelaine of our "castle" or stronghold, we hold the keys and responsibility for the quality of life we wish to lead unless we listen to those voices that undermine our innate abilities and confidence. They say they know better and they know what we need and how to be happy. You have to ask yourself, "why am I working for someone else instead of at home, working for the welfare of my family directly?" How would you feel if someone said to you, "You are not responsible enough to plan your meals, you don't know how to dress, if you don't do everything exactly the way I tell you to, you will get sick, have no friends, and you cannot possible be happy." And to add insult to injury, you handed over your rights or "keys" for the rather dubious instruction and dont realise you can tke them back anytime you like. They say: "You must eat these foods, the convenience will make your life easier and therefore happy", You must wear these brands of clothing so you can all look the same and other people will like you and you will be happy" "You must have 3 living areas and 5 bedrooms or people will think you are slumming it or lazy and can't be your friend" "You must take an expensive overseas holiday once a year or you won't be happy and people will pity you" "you must drive the latest car, own the biggest screen TV, latest game console so you can be happy"
    "you must be a certain shape or weight and buy expensive equipment to maintain it or you won't be happy"
    "your children must attend private schools as the only way for them to be happy is to get a "good job" and buy all the aforementioned things".
    Pretty much, what we want is to be happy, but the key to happiness never will be found in the acquisition of money and possessions.
    The big keys are knowledge, family and friends, health, wholesome fresh foods, to share your talents and abilities to enrich the lives of those immediately around you,the intrinsic pleasures of life which are given freely, to call the shots and be able to stop and smell the roses.
    The government increasingly is pressuring women to enter the workplace. Are they concerned that your life is lacking fulfilment, equality? No. They want your taxes and they want you to grow the economy with your spending from more income. To be a spending machine. They offer subsidised childcare like a shining jewel. Instead you are trading your real treasure for more stuff that will break, fade and become obsolete. By offering childcare, they have created jobs that create taxable income and spending for the childcare workers as well.
    The irony of a mother paying for someone else to care for their child while they get paid for caring for someone else's is lost on a society that runs on money and stuff.
    Yes, there are those that need to, who should be supported but there are many whose needs have been dictated to them by a consumerist society and government feeding off economic growth.
    cont..

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  38. cont...The big keys are knowledge, spirituality, family and friends, health, wholesome fresh foods, to share your talents and abilities to enrich the lives of those immediately around you,the intrinsic pleasures of life which are given freely, to call the shots and be able to stop and smell the roses.
    The government increasingly is pressuring women to enter the workplace. Are they concerned that your life is lacking fulfilment, equality? No. They want your taxes and they want you to grow the economy with your spending from more income. To be a spending machine. They offer subsidised childcare like a shining jewel. Instead you are trading your real treasure for more stuff that will break, fade and become obsolete. By offering childcare, they have created jobs that create taxable income and spending for the childcare workers as well.
    The irony of a mother paying for someone else to care for their child while they get paid for caring for someone else's is lost on a society that runs on money and stuff.
    Yes, there are those that need to, who should be supported but there are many whose needs have been dictated to them by a consumerist society and government feeding off economic growth.
    On the positive side, you can reclaim those keys, reclaim lost knowledge, and keep your real treasures under your own control. You can have real achievement at home. There is a job for any skill outside the home you could desire. whether it be musician, artist, chef, interior decorator, accountant, logistics manager psychologist, botanist, nurse, humanitarian, anything. You can be the best you can be and use any of these skills within the home and make a difference directly. You can use these skills outside the home in your community and make it a better place. You can continue to study and learn, formally or informally. There is never an excuse to be bored at home. You CAN have your cake and eat it too. especially when you have made it yourself and shared it with people that you love :)
    I hope this wasn't to intense and there is something useful.
    Thankyou for your insightful and thought provoking posts.

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  39. i have put this book on my wishlist.
    30 years ago as a 14 year old my mother said, bout time you started to think about a career path, asking me what i thought i might want to do i replied that i wanted to be a housewife, cook clean sew garden and look after my family. she replied that the world didnt work like that and i would need a career. i hope that world is indeed changing and that 14 year old girls do have the option of having a "career" as a housewife.

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  40. Thanks for your thoughts. As usual, it's a thought-provoking, inspiring, and empowering post. :)

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  41. I agree 100%. I love my life! Im a 27 yr old married mother of 2 (10 and 4). Im a home maker and its great. I also knit,sew (cloths, bags, ect..) and love cooking and baking. My husband is a soldier so I am the stable parent, it makes me happy knowing Im always there for my kids, my husband and me, not being pulled in a million other directions. When I worked (waitress and CMA) I felt I was always short changing someone, not saying that some people cant do it, I just knew it wasnt the life for me.

    Thank you so much for posting this, I am so sick of other women in my age group looking so disgusted when I say Im a SAHM. They try to tell me that I cant be satisfied from this life and that my husband is holding me back.... I dont understand why they cant see how happy I am at home?

    I must thank my friend who passed your blog on and now you have another follower

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  42. I love this book!! Checked it out from the library (it just came out) but I plan on buying it from the author; because it is definately a keeper!

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  43. Thank you so much!! Your website is just what I needed!! My hubby and I are working right now so that he can retire (he is chief of police) in 5 years. he will be 56 and I will be 46. We are trying to teach our children to enjoy life and treasure every minute. That it is now how much you make but how much you enjoy getting up in the morning and going to your "job", whatever that may be. Thanks for all you do and you are definately making a diffference!! Blessings and Peace, terri sammons!!

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  44. what a wonderful post! Im a "young" homemaker and I LOVE it. I actually dont have many close friends because we have grown apart. They like to party on every weekend and have there kids babysat, work alot and talk about other people, clothes and tv shows... I like to be with my family as often as possible, scout thrift stores for bargains, make my home beautiful and talk about things of depth. Im only just starting out and dont know heaps, but what I do know, I put to practice. This blog is so great, im looking forward to reading more of your work. Thanks for this encouragement!
    Mrs K
    http://happilyeverafterau.blogspot.com

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  45. oh PS sorry... If you want to talk to young people about the joys of homemaking, you could lean towards the satisfaction of accomplishing things with your own hands. For me, the first time I planted seeds (I had a butternut pumpkin and saved the seeds, prepared the ground, planted and watered). To see little green things shoot up weirdly excited me! Then when I stood there chopping up butternut pumpkins that came out of the ground, it felt pretty good to know that I did that. Or another example, you can just do what you "HAVE" to do around the house, yknow, keep it relitavely tidy, washing, vaccum, dinner on the table. and live in a mundane way.. or you can take your job seriously, with enthusiasm, and do it in style! Decorate your home so that its something you can be proud to invite people into, learn how to cook some delicious meals that really have that fresh produce edge, or an amazing desert that makes your husband melt. There's no end to the satisfaction that comes with putting in effort, and doing things with excellence. A lost art for my generation of abstract-looking generic furnature, plastics, microwave dinners and low maintenance gardens. sigh.

    three places I would hit hard in your presentation:

    * Satisfaction from results
    * Pride in what you do have
    * being unique, different in how you do life.

    yep, every young person wants to be unique, set apart from the crowd. but most of us try with how we dress or a new haircut. most of the young people dont think to be different in how they do "house". if that makes sense.

    hope this helps!

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  46. I am a nurse but I am not working right now. Do I have to work? Maybe. Do I need to work to get my debts paid off so that I can eventually get back to being a true housewife? Yes. I created some of my messes and I have to clean it all up myself in order to get back to the simple ways of living like I once did. I admit it though, when I was at home and not working before I decided to become a nurse, I had a brand new home and I lived at home, I took care of it as much as I could but I always felt as though I needed a job to help make ends meet, even though everyone else in my household were taken care of. It was me of course that felt the need to make ends meet cause I felt as though I didn't have enough. At that point in my life I was thinking how much better it would be to have money to go on trips on vacations go clothing shopping and to buy things for the home to decorate it. I got upset because my family members and some friends didn't work but they had all of those things. So I became a nurse and too at the point when I did it became necessary because of my husbands illness I needed something that would pay well in case of his passing. He is still alive today and so now I feel like I don't want to work but I have to work for a while to undo my financial messes. Oh what did I get myself into? I regret a lot of things but I am proud of my accomplishments at the same time. I went to school and graduated and got my certification even though I had 2 disabled children with special needs and my husband was ill and I too had my own physical limitations due to arthritis. So I overcame a lot and accomplished a lot. But now I pay for all the consequences. If only I had stopped while I was still ahead financially and just stayed put where I was. But the thing is we had a new home but didn't own the land. So that is what drove me to move and because of no jobs in our are and coal mining shutting down, that left things bare and no where to run or to turn and stores had left our areas and so we had to travel for miles just to buy clothing. So now I moved and now I furthered my career and yes more financial worries. I am out here on my own, away from family, away from friends, who could not help me even when we lived near each other. So here I am wanting to get back to self sufficiency but I find that I keep going in circles and can't get off the debt roller coaster track and I can never ever get ahead. I did find that coupons helped me to sustain myself and I lived off a stockpile that i had so that I could further my career, but at the same time debts were piling up from student educational loans. Now I wished I had not have done so many things. And now I value the duty and title of being a housewife. I want that life back, but to have what is mine: a house and land and no bills or debts to pay for so that when I do eventually get back to that life style, then it will all be set.

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