Things I don't like now I'm older, items 1 - 20, or thereabouts:
Time goes faster, I get slower and weaker, my eyesight is worse, I don't sleep to a regular pattern anymore, I used to lift large bags of potting mix, now I can't. Packets are getting smaller. Prices are rising. People stare into their phones as they walk along the street; this is a recent revelation to me but I'm told it's been happening for years. I can't be bothered with most of the new things I see around me, small things irritate me and if one more person calls us "guys" or "you guys" again I will not be responsible for my actions. I'm easily irritated by stupidity, superciliousness and greed.
Oh, I could go on, in fact I will. :- )
I've stopped going to restaurants because I think home cooking is much better - in every sense. Shopping malls are crowded. There is too much traffic. I know of no Australian politician worth their annual salary. Fashion is a pretentious, exploitative absurdity that is sucking the life out of many people. Foam is not food. My skin is like paper and now I have liver spots! Really! after all that dry papery skin, now liver spots!
Although I dislike more things as the years progress, I am accepting of many more things. I'm satisfied with much less. And ... public transport is better than it used to be. I'm thankful our home is surrounded by trees. I'm more capable than I ever was but my need to prove it has all but disappeared. I look at my family and feel proud. I love sitting quietly, watching, when wild birds visit the backyard. I breath in a deep breath and feel grateful to be there. It is enough.
Jamie at his 5th birthday party on Saturday.
Life is easier as well as more difficult now. The physical is becoming more demanding, the psychological is much easier. Things are calmer. There is a real need in me to discover my past and know who I came from. The longer I live the more convinced I am that the mixture of DNA we carry determines what we become. I don't think you can escape it, I didn't. I'm grateful I have history to look back on and to help me join the dots together.
Youth is over-rated, old age is under-rated and although there are times I wished I was stronger, I have never wanted to be younger. Don't take any notice of the blathering about old age in women's magazines, it's written by someone who hasn't experienced what they're writing about. One of the gifts of old age is self-confidence and the ability to accept what is. When I was younger I was convinced I would live till 110. Now I know how selfish that is. We all have our turn at life, and when that turn is finished, the next generation step up and have their turn. Right here and now I see the future and the past through my grandchildren. They are the reason to carry on for as long as possible, as well as the reason to stop when the time comes.
Brilliant - I am with you on most of the things and I add that "to live at all is miracle enough" nowadays. I have not commented before though I have been reading your blog for a while now and agree with your sentiments on most things. I love being in my 70s.
ReplyDeleteSo much wisdom! Please keep sharing with the rest of us - you have important things to say. I know I for one will be able to "chew on" several things you said for a while to come. I especially like your comments about living a long life, but knowing when to pass the baton on to the next generation. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right on all counts and youth is highly over-rated! I'm learning to appreciate slowing down and smelling the roses as it's said. I'm banning all cell phones and electronics at our meals together as a family. Surely they can go for 30 minutes with out those contraptions and talk to each other between bites!!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written, as usual. I get frustrated with my weak arms and hands. It limits me a bit, but it doesn't stop me from trying. I keep saying I want to be an amazing 100 year old and I mean it. I work in a rehab unit and I get to see people when they are not at their best. But with their determination and our help we try and get them back home to their lives and loved ones. I see some amazing centenarians and always ask what their secret is, mostly it is living a simple life and working hard. It's a winning formula. Have a great day.
ReplyDeleteGreat list and I agree. I've seen a gathering of ladies on TV, and the announcer (usually a 'guy' (ha!)) keeps referring to them as 'guys'. Not sure if this is exactly what you were referring to, but that's a peeve of mine. The older I get, the more I enjoy very simple things, most notably, nature.
ReplyDeleteMy ex husband and now my grown son refer to me and others in the family. I always get mad and say my name is not you guys, it is Cynthia or mom in my son's case.
ReplyDeleteA lovely, insightful post Rhonda and I can relate to a lot of what you've written. Sometimes when I cranky with the world I remind myself how lucky I am to still be here as I know many who didn't get the chance to enjoy growing older, grey hair and wrinkles are a privilege.
ReplyDeleteI'm not up to the papery skin yet, or the liver spots but otherwise, your first two paragraphs had me laughing to myself. Sounds just like one of my rants.
ReplyDeleteI am perpetually astounded that I have lived seven decades and plan on living at least four more as a fully functioning, healthy, vibrant, purple haired WOMAN. My Mother, at 82, is still standing on a ladder and painting ceilings in our rental properties. My father, O2 on his shoulder and pacemaker in his chest, is still cutting our hay. Old age is a state of mind. As long as we have a plan for tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, we will be vibrant, happy and well. Even if we aren't as strong as we were in our 20s, who needs to be? We can still get it done, right?
ReplyDeleteNever go gently into that good night!! :)
This is great post and so true. I have really learned to appreciate more of the simpler things in my life especially since my father passed last year and my mother-in-law this year. Our time is very finite and we should try to enjoy as much of it as we can.
ReplyDeleteI love my wrinkles as I earnt every single one of them. I am me right now, and that is exactly who and where I am meant to be. I don't buy magazines as they have nothing in them I need, so I miss out on all the rubbish that is written in them. My patience and tongue biting have decreased and I will give my honest opinion if asked. I'm strong in mind and body, if a little flabby. Life is good and we in the older brackets have much to offer and to pass onto our children and grandchildren.
ReplyDeleteLOVE this post Rhonda! I have my skin checked yearly and my doctor who is quite the comedian said the spots on my back are old age senile warts! I'm only 38!
ReplyDeleteOur strength starts to decline pretty early, about 30. I'm heading to the gym to lift weights to keep and grow my muscle percentage. I was shocked into it when My mum couldn't lift my 10kg son. Now I have a goal be very strong as I age.
ReplyDeleteEvery age has it advantage and disadvantage in life. It's best to be happy where, who, and when ever. Being miserable doesn't help.
ReplyDeleteCoffee is on
"We all have our turn at life, and when that turn is finished, the next generation step up and have their turn." That my dear friend, is not only pure gold, it is literature.
ReplyDeleteOne of my very favorite quotes that inspires me daily:
ReplyDelete"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, Wow! What a ride." Marjorie Pay Hinkley.
That rings so true for me, I agree totally and I am glad we settle more as we get older. I am unemployed at the moment and am finding that age is quite a barrier, they are all looking for younger people, yet i have so much experience to offer? Wonder if our politicians ever realise just what we the voting public think of them? I will stay true to my simple life and roll with the flow, thank you for your insights Rhonda.
ReplyDeleteHave you tried presenting a 'skills based' resume rather than a chronological one? I retrained into a new field and was way older than was expected in the field. I found the change in resume, the deletion of my first 15 years of work and no mention of date of birth at least got me to an interview whereas I was getting no where beforehand. None of it involved lying just omitting. Claire
DeleteThat worked for my husband.....deleting the "early years" and focusing on the ones relevant to the position he was going after. He went from no interviews to at least 50% of the resumes he sent out contacting him.
DeleteA very wise post and I agree completely. So happy not to be young anymore!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this post very much, you are a born writer...
ReplyDeleteThanks for this one, Rhonda.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rhonda I agree with all of this -and especially about "easily irritated by stupidity" - there's a lot of that going around, so I guess I'm always irritated!! Now that I'm older I understand why older people always say "in the olden days" or "when I was young" - either times are a changing (too much) or we are getting old!
ReplyDeleteOh I feel so much better- that list is exactly the one I would have written. I thought I was just becoming a grumpy old woman. I love being my age (62) and would not want to be young again except for having a bit more energy.
ReplyDeleteOh Rhonda! You must have been channeling your thoughts yesterday, as three of us 'older' ladies in the shop were discussing, of all things, creepy skin, liver spots, thinning hair and groaning knees! Then today while helping set up a quilting machine for a customer, we were both groaning up and down her stairs, feeling weak and worn and visiting about 'days of old. ' At least we were laughing!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your talk yesterday. I so needed to get away for short while and regroup.
ReplyDeleteI understand about liver spots etc. I don't have papery skin yet but spend hours aligning torn skin and patching it. My parents are not on the receiving end of a kind old age and I am dreading the next few years. My bug bear is arthritis and deafness. How I love being quietly at home and long for the day when there will be a bit more rhythm and less chasing and putting out fires! The day will come.
Oh Rhonda,
ReplyDeleteYou have such a great way with words !!!!!
May I add that grey hair is a lovely colour and no don't tell me I need a bottle of chemicals to tip on it to make me look "respectable" or stop me in a shop and give me "anti-aging" cream, I love my smile wrinkles as much as my worry lines !!!!! I am who I am !!!! The older I get the more humble I become........
Light and Love,
Jude (sunflowers and tulips)
I read somewhere "Life is like climbing a mountain, the climbing gets tougher the higher you go, but the view gets so much better!" I lost my health and strength in my early thirties, and it has been steadily worsening. But at the same time, I have grown to appreciate myself more as the years go by. Strange but true. I don't read womens' magazines anymore, like you say, they are clueless really. I feel that they don't depict my life, but tell me how I ought to be and point out all that is wrong with me. I had a lovely simple childhood that gave me so much in terms of values. Reading your blog is a little like coming home. Appreciate it very much. Pam in Norway
ReplyDeleteWhile I am only 44yrs old, over the past few years I have been seeing some early evidence of physical aging, that is to be expected. I have already decided that I will embrace those few grey hairs that are multiplying every year instead of trying to erase them with chemical laden dye in an attempt to escape my age. I feel that all seasons of life bring their own challenges and rewards and are to be enjoyed rather than endured. I still have a young family with my youngest being 4yrs old. Sometimes I weary of having energetic children when my energy levels sometimes fails me. However, I know that this is just a season that I am passing through and all too soon I will wish to get those years back. So I choose to enjoy them now so I can embrace the next season to come.
ReplyDeleteIt's as if you were reading my mind!
ReplyDeleteI love this post Rhonda. It made me laugh and nod my head. You're so self deprecating but we all know how patient and caring you are. I can't say I would ever want to be young again. I love being sixty and am blessed with good health, as you are, because we eat our own home grown foods as much as possible and love nature. I have no time for those magazines and wouldn't know a celebrity if I tripped over one.
ReplyDeleteI love the honest simplicity of this post and I agree with most of what you've written, especially the traffic and phones! That's not your age talking either, it's a shift in society, I'm 39 and I'm seeing the constant decline. But I too am grateful for my family and my faith that keeps hope well and truly alive.
ReplyDeleteWell said!
DeleteI hear you, Rhonda. And every word of that was well written; the message well said. I am in my sixties too, and have pretty good health. I hate the whole greed thing and where I live, believe me, it is rampant. The prices of everything going up, no good political contenders here; all full of themselves and big salaries. I would not want to be young again either. I try to make the best of myself; I get a good haircut a couple of times per year, still use a good face cream but the routine is far simpler and much more satisfying. I add a swipe of a pretty lipstick and perhaps an eyebrow pencil. No silly women's magazines here either. I am trying to make more of my own clothes, in simpler and classic styles and beautiful colours; eat well the food I cook at home, and get daily exercise. I recently got a new puppy who also keeps me in shape and adds much joy to my life! Life is good so far, I must say.
ReplyDeleteI love this post so much. You could be a spokesperson for so many of us who are living as you do and trying our level best to eschew the modern trappings, no matter how encroaching on all aspects of life they are. I will provide a link to this post soon as I know my readers will love it too.
ReplyDeleteOn thing that I have to admire about Australia, Rhonda, and something we need to get hold of in the U.S.A. and that is the gun control issue. I think I worry about this more than anything else today. Your people did do something about it and it was huge. I agree with everything you have mentioned in this post ( and most of them), but in America they just don't get it about guns and rights, and all that goes with it.
ReplyDeleteI really needed to read this post of yours. I've been struggling for the last year with my sense of self and usefulness. I'm 63 and last year was let go from a job that I loved and gave me a sense of purpose and usefulness. Plus the conditions I was let go was very unfair and I felt great pain about it. I'm still trying to not be bitter and find a new sense of self. I have a wonderful marriage and super supportive spouse. Two wonderful adult children who still actually live at home as they are both in school. (one is finishing her library science graduate degree, the other at junior college getting a multi media degree.)
ReplyDeleteWe've been living the simple life since the 70"s and still are making bread, gardening etc.
Financially, we're challenged as we still have a mortgage going into retirement, but are working on ideas about that. Neither want to sell( as every reasonable financial guru would advise) so we stumble on.
I feel better having read your post , and feel assured that others too feel grumpy and annoyed at some things about life especially as we age.
Today, I'm going to feel good at my accomplishments and my life and be in the moment!
I wasn't looking forward to being 70 but now that I am I am finding rewards.
ReplyDeleteOne that I didn't expect is that it's ok to say "no" sometimes whereas before I would have groaned inwardly and said "yes".
I do find it hard to stand back and let others do the heavy lifting but like you I can no longer do what I used to without damaging my wrists.
On a more positive note I am determined to stay as fit as possible. For the last 3 months I have been walking on average 3 miles a day, often more. This has made a huge difference to my physical fitness and also to my mental well being. Now I need to work at being able to get up off my haunches gracefully!
Loved your whole post. I shall chuckle over it for a while.
I'm very much a homebody and recently had a dentist appointment for a cleaning. There were 5 other people waiting for various reasons and ALL of them were on their phones doing whatever they do. I looked around and could not believe it. Use to be that you could strike up a conversation with someone about something while waiting. Unbelievable!
ReplyDeleteIndeed! And people do the same thing in restaurants when they are supposed to be gathering to visit together with one another! Why not just ignore who you are with and visit with someone else? It is all too much.
DeleteI'm 51 and I wouldn't want to go back to 25.....I probably wouldn't survive it. lol Although I wouldn't mind erasing a few of the `11's in my forehead.
ReplyDelete(Happy to report that Book Depository has dispatched your new book, apparently free ship to the States. Dispatched....sounds so much cooler than shipped. )
Ha ha Rhonda - you crack me up when you turn your after-burners on!
ReplyDeleteThe older I get the better I was :-) - well maybe physically, certainly not in common sense and life purpose.
I enjoy every age I get too and I wouldn't want to go back to being any younger and I look forward to being 'older'
ReplyDeleteRhonda,
ReplyDeleteI really needed to read this post today. I needed to purchase one blue button for my adult son's work uniform shirt. He asked me to find a replacement for the missing button as he didn't want to have to purchase a new uniform shirt. First, I had to fight traffic to get to the store, could not purchase a small card containing 3 or 4 blue buttons. Oh no, that would make too much common sense. I had to purchase a bulk package that contains probably 50 blue buttons. Then I had to wait in line for at least 20 minutes to pay for the darn buttons because they had exactly two cashiers. I think I will learn to shop on-line- it is sounding better all the time. Glad to know I am not alone in getting fed up with stuff that in my younger years, I probably didn't even notice.
Hi Rhonda,
ReplyDeleteyour words are funny and true!
I've recently gone back to yoga classes (Iyengar style) and most of the women in one of my classes are in their 60s and 70s. I am amazed at the strength, flexibility and stamina of many of these women, who have been practising for a few years now. It's a great example of use it or lose it.
Madeleine.x
Beautifully said Rhonda. I'm with you on this. I remember when I imagined that, for all intents and purposes, life ended at 30. Then, when that came, I felt a sense of dread about 40 (middle-aged and all that). Later, it seemed to me that 60 was "old" with all the pejorative connotations that often accompany with that word. But as I've been proven wrong time and time again, like you I've come to realize that I'm more accepting and more satisfied with each passing year. I can honestly say that I've never enjoyed life more than now.
ReplyDeleteOh, and "you guys" makes my skin crawl.
I can relate to everything you have written Rhonda Jean. Thank you for sharing your life and thoughts with us all. It is good to know that there are many others who think the same way. We moved to 3 minutes from a city boundary for my husbands job and I found myself always going into the city when we first came here. At our other location I went into town (25 minute drive each way) and used to be in and out in 2 hours incl driving time. I quickly stopped the short frequent trips into the city as I began to feel stressed as soon as I got to the houses there and being around too many people at the shopping centres was more than I could stand. Even now when I go with my daughter ( 23) shopping I cannot wait to get home and funnily enough she lives very rural and does not like to be in the crowded places either. I want my life to be balanced and as peaceful as I can possibly make it as I am now in the Winter so to speak of my life now. :-) I
ReplyDeleteOh Rhonda, how well you express what so many of us think. Brilliant post!
ReplyDeleteWow...just wow. I resonate with everything that you have said. Thanks for this post Ronda.
ReplyDeleteOh yes- your comment about people walking and looking at their phones now. The other day my daughter and I brought an ice cream each and was sitting outside the store on a bench seat eating them and baby was in the stroller . More than once I wondered if someone was going to trip over the stroller as they were looking at their phones and not watching where they were going!!!! We go and visit young ones and the parents are both on their cellphones , the children on their Tablets or glued to the TV and there is no conversation going on between the parents and the children and when the children speak they are yelled at. Such a dumbing down of society with all the technology now that is for sure
ReplyDeleteLovely sensible thoughts, thanks for sharing!!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth in WA state
Hi Rhonda!
ReplyDelete:0)
Hugs,
Barb
And on the subject of people looking down at their phones - google 'look up poem' on youtube. I've shown this short video to my kids and even some of my students. It examines what one might miss whilst looking down at a screen, and the long-term ramifications. I've have watched it about 5 times and cried every time.
ReplyDeleteMadeleine.x
While I just turned 45, I agree with you on all counts! I DETEST being referred to as "you guys". It drives me to distraction.
ReplyDeleteyou took the words right out of my mouth. At 66 I am easily annoyed, I prefer quiet, I don't need much, I am not fond of people on the whole but my family is everything. I appreciate some things more and other things quite a bit less. Yes, finding out your roots is not only rewarding but, in my opinion, necessary -- it is amazing to see yourself in the past. I agree with everything in your post.
ReplyDeleteMy dad uses Vitamin E oil on his hands for the thin skin problem. You might want to check that out
ReplyDeleteI love this post!!! x
ReplyDeleteRhonda please check out solar lentigo on the dermenetwebsite which has great pictures and dermatologist comments.
ReplyDelete"Liver spots" can be solar lentigos which are often overlooked and can be early melanoma
Oh, Rhonda, I haven't been on here for ages but your humour and impatience with the "modern" world has made me laugh so much. I share it and I'm only half (ish) your age.
ReplyDeleteOff to read more of your wisdom.
:-)
Karen (Scotland)
I must be one of the last people in America that does not own a cell phone. It makes me sad to see people sitting at a table across from one another and both are staring at their phone and not even talking to each other. Even in church you can hear phones ring (they ask you to turn the phones off but lots of people do not)
ReplyDeleteMy skin is awful too. Many years ago like an crazy person I laid out in the sun and even put baby oil on my skin to get a tan. Now I have brown spots and worry about skin cancer. My father had skin cancer and it was horrible. I wish I knew then what I know now about taking care of my skin.
I have awful brown spots on my face and use a prescription cream on my face. My skin is also like crape paper. I had gastric bypass surgery 12 years ago. My body does not get some of the vitamins I need. Food and even vitamins go through my body very fast and are not absorbed as they should be. Medications do this too. I wish I had not done the bypass surgery, but it did help me lose more than 200 pounds in a year. I am more healthy. I have not high blood pressure and do not have diabetes.
On Wednesday I turned 60. While I have never fussed over getting older, it has been weird to turn 60...it feels like a heartbeat ago I was 40...As I read your post today I found my head nodding up and down like a bobble head doll! In my 40's I began to see how getting older would be a lot more fun that I ever dreamed, the past few years I have learned that this is still true, but that physically it is not for sissies either. But I think that the most profound statement you have made is that seeing the future through our young gives us reason to go on and to stop when the time is right too. It gives me a lot to think about and peace for the end.
ReplyDeleteOh rhonda...I am only 36 and am constantly sad about the phone thing. It's literally everywhere. And the saddest of all.is all the addicted children. I do have a dumb cell phone...and usually forget about it till it starts beeping in my purse because it's nearly dead. I am not sure if being a new parent brings a lot of anxiety about life and death. It has for me and I'm hoping it will diminish a lot oncce he gets a bit older. It feels ridiculous to be so worried. Would rather just enjoy the present. Have loved your blog since 2008... xxo
ReplyDeleteKaren, I think many young parents are anxious about the safety of their children, maybe it's that anxiety about life and death you're talking about. When my sons were young - 7 and 8 and older, I used to let them ride their bikes to school - alone. The school was in the next street and we lived in a small country town. After school they and their friends usually went into the bush (where snakes and spiders are) and they'd play a made up game they called "Quest". They did a lot of things that parents today might look on as being unsafe. But they were fine and they had a lot of fun. The one thing I was very strict on though was vetting their friends. I believed that was the danger point and I made sure I knew the children they would be alone with. No childhood is perfect, there are no perfect parents, but I hope you can let go of the anxiety and enjoy those young years - you only have them once. xx
DeleteWhat a great post, Thank you, Rhonda. My skin has also thinned. I have liver spots, too. Like you, I notice that time passes much more quickly now. I like that, in some ways. I feel more relaxed and less pressured at this age. I am so glad that I started living simply when I was young, and planned for retirement. Your blog helped me with those things. It's made all the difference.
ReplyDeleteI have just discovered your book at my local library. Thank you! I feel as if I have met a kindred spirit and I am most grateful. I love your post, especially the part about stories about age being written by someone who hasn't been there yet. I remember saying to a friend that I wasn't ready to be 60 and she replied that age was just a number. I wanted to clobber her but then realised she was only 35 or so. Best wishes m
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