So now it's liver spots, is it!

4 April 2016
Things I don't like now I'm older, items 1 - 20, or thereabouts:
Time goes faster, I get slower and weaker, my eyesight is worse, I don't sleep to a regular pattern anymore, I used to lift large bags of potting mix, now I can't. Packets are getting smaller. Prices are rising. People stare into their phones as they walk along the street; this is a recent revelation to me but I'm told it's been happening for years. I can't be bothered with most of the new things I see around me, small things irritate me and if one more person calls us "guys" or "you guys" again I will not be responsible for my actions. I'm easily irritated by stupidity, superciliousness and greed. 

Oh, I could go on, in fact I will. :- )

I've stopped going to restaurants because I think home cooking is much better - in every sense. Shopping malls are crowded. There is too much traffic. I know of no Australian politician worth their annual salary. Fashion is a pretentious, exploitative absurdity that is sucking the life out of many people. Foam is not food. My skin is like paper and now I have liver spots! Really! after all that dry papery skin, now liver spots! 

Although I dislike more things as the years progress, I am accepting of many more things. I'm satisfied with much less. And ... public transport is better than it used to be. I'm thankful our home is surrounded by trees. I'm more capable than I ever was but my need to prove it has all but disappeared. I look at my family and feel proud. I love sitting quietly, watching, when wild birds visit the backyard. I breath in a deep breath and feel grateful to be there. It is enough.

Jamie at his 5th birthday party on Saturday.

Life is easier as well as more difficult now. The physical is becoming more demanding, the psychological is much easier. Things are calmer. There is a real need in me to discover my past and know who I came from. The longer I live the more convinced I am that the mixture of DNA we carry determines what we become. I don't think you can escape it, I didn't. I'm grateful I have history to look back on and to help me join the dots together. 

Youth is over-rated, old age is under-rated and although there are times I wished I was stronger, I have never wanted to be younger. Don't take any notice of the blathering about old age in women's magazines, it's written by someone who hasn't experienced what they're writing about. One of the gifts of old age is self-confidence and the ability to accept what is. When I was younger I was convinced I would live till 110. Now I know how selfish that is. We all have our turn at life, and when that turn is finished, the next generation step up and have their turn. Right here and now I see the future and the past through my grandchildren. They are the reason to carry on for as long as possible, as well as the reason to stop when the time comes.