My world is small. Many weeks of the year my world is happily contained within the boundaries of our property, and with the gate closed, I feel as close to satisfied with life as I am ever likely to be. Although we live alone, we have frequent visitors - family and friends, and, of course, we look after Jamie, one of our grandsons, three days a week. Our small world is busy and populated not only by people but also visiting wildlife such as birds, reptiles and many, many insects. There is a biodiversity here that I find pleasing. I think the visiting wild life see our place as a bit of an oasis where no poisons are used, there is fresh water to drink and places to take up residence, if they choose to.
This is the wood stove in Tricia's home.
Inside our home there is busyness too. At the moment I'm going through things to see what I can take with me on my trip to Tricia's. One of the highlights of the trip will be reacquainting myself with Tricia's grandson, Johnathan, and meeting his sister, Alanna, for the first time. Like many young couples, Danny and Laura work hard to provide for their children and I'd like to help them if I can. Tricia asked me to join her in teaching Laura a few of our family recipes as well as the tricks and tips younger homemakers often don't know about. Laura asked Tricia to help her with sewing so I've gone through my stash looking for fabrics she might be able to use, and yesterday I went through my cook books and found some to give to Laura.
There was a time when older women would do this sort of thing as a matter of course. They would share their recipes with the younger girls, swap cleaning tips, share resources such as fabrics, fabric scraps, buttons and such. I'd like to give Laura her first button jar and I've been walking down memory lane here sorting through my buttons, making decisions about what to give her. They may just be buttons, but to me they're symbolic of my mother and the role mending and sewing played in our family.
There are many things available to young people now that weren't around when I was their age but the one thing they sometimes don't get now is this kind of practical support. I'm not talking about financial support, although I'd give that too if I could, I'm talking instead about unique and direct support, sharing family recipes, the shortcuts of basic housework and the encouragement to do it. It's often these sorts of conversations that help younger women transition into homemakers and creative, crafty mothers. It might all seem quite common place to us but for young women just starting out with their families, often they just need to understand how housework fits into this new life and to know they don't have to be perfect.
What I hope to show is that life can be made better by doing what you can at home, taking control, making plans, working to routines and being an active participant in your own family life. Sometimes we just need time and encouragement to work out where we are, where we want to go and how we fit into the scheme of things. I think sharing knowledge and showing support are core ingredients of stable family life. This is especially true when we welcome new people into our family. And it's not to make sure they do everything according to how it's already done in the family, it's to help them ease into the family unit; to not only say I love you, but to show it too. When that new family member is settled and feels a valued and important part of a strong family, they can take their time and stitch their own ideas and values into the family fabric. And then the whole family will be stronger for it.
What are your experiences with either being a new member of a family or of making that new person feel at ease?
What are your experiences with either being a new member of a family or of making that new person feel at ease?
