Choices and how they change us

I received an email from a young woman the other day who told me that she's so conflicted about a choice she has to make that she's deliberately not thinking about it and she'll probably end up just flipping a coin to decide. She said by doing that she'll be getting what is meant to be. Phttttt! I don't believe in fate or coincidence. I believe we make our own luck and good fortune by working for what we want. Usually the decisions we have to make are those involving your work, family, friends and home so you should do as much thinking about those decisions as you can. The choices you make, whether they be good choices or bad, will impact you when you make them, and like a ripple on a pond, long into the future too. Flipping a coin to make a decision is like saying you're not worth the effort. Everything you do matters.

Flipping a coin and deliberately not thinking about important issues is side stepping the opportunity you have to make your own decisions. I encourage all of you to plan ahead and live according to your values. Own your life! This isn't a dress rehearsal. You don't want to realise that too late.  Plan your life as best you can, but be flexible when you have to be. Planning ahead will give you the best chance of success because you can actively work towards what you want. Non-planning really doesn't take the decision making out of your hands, there will still be an outcome. You're making the choice to not make a decision and then you have to take what comes of that.

When I look back and think of all the people I've met, the work I've done, the places I've seen, the time spent on such a wide variety of things, the countless hours I've spent raising babies and children and teens, the years I've spent working, I can see clearly that my path to here was never straight. It was one with curves, highs and lows, periods of intense happiness but also periods so dark I could barely see what was ahead. Some of my choices were not given enough thought and some just plain wrong, but all those past choices helped make me the person I am now. Sometimes I look back I wonder where all that energy came from, and where it went. I've tried many things, left most of them behind, and am here now with my basket full of what is important to me. I am happy and self-confident and I have the most wonderful family.

So to that young woman who wrote, and to all of you, I encourage you to think about what you want, work hard for it, plan your days and make the most of the intelligence, skill and talents you have. Stay close to your family and friends. I'm not saying this is easy, in fact, I know its not, but since when was the easy option the smart one? No matter what, when you think enough about the issue you're dealing with and then make the decision you need to make, own it, and then put in the effort to make it work.

Are you a decision maker or are you inclined to flip a coin?