down to earth

I delved a little further into the world of solitude and silence on the weekend. I spent much of Saturday morning going through old papers and cleaning up my work room. Late morning I had a brief visit from Ernie and Jenny, a phone call from Shane and then Hanno. Silence followed. I finished cleaning and reorganising my workroom with the window open so I could clearly hear the sound of the rain and wind outside.

At around 2pm on Saturday I decided to have an electricity-free afternoon and evening. I'm really suited to this style of living because I go to bed early, get up early and now we're moving towards summer, I'm in bed when it's dark. So I organised candles for the evening and the morning and found some knitting I could do in low light. Next was my evening meal - I wanted something that required no electricity. I had a small bowl of leftover pasta in the fridge and I ended up adding celery, corn, capsicum, herbs and a small can of red salmon. I had that will a glass of water and a slice of watermelon. I ate in silence looking out into the fading light of the backyard.

When I had the meal and lighting organised, I decided that I would disconnect my laptop from the cable and only use it on the battery. If the battery ran out, that would be it. I'm using the battery power now as I write this at 7pm. If this turns out to be a short post, you'll know why, but I'm hoping it will stay with me until I take photos and upload them. Soon I'll go outside to look at the stars and then, by candlelight, I'll write, in longhand, an outline for a series of talks I'll be giving at the local libraries next year.

[Monday morning] It's a fine thing to withdraw from the electrified world every so often. You cut yourself off from light and the sound of TV and radio, washing machines, vacuum cleaners, electric beaters, fans and so many other things we take for granted. You become more aware of the natural movements outside, of the birds and the amount of light coming into the house. You become very aware of yourself too. There are no distractions, no noise to mask the swishing of a skirt, the scratching of a fountain pen on paper, or breathing. We are all so used to electricity now we forget that it the ability to brightly light our homes came to us relatively recently. In 1904 the first domestic electricity was generated in Sydney and by 1927, only 34 percent of homes had some form of electricity. Now, most of us, are dependent on electric lighting and while I wouldn't like to live without electricity, I could live without lights. I love coming back to candles and lamps every so often. I last did this when Hanno was in Germany two year ago. Have you stopped yourself using electricity just because you could?

Both images are by the wonderful Swedish artist Carl Larsson from here.

Today I have an email from a reader who is due to have her first baby in March next year. "Jill and Jack" have been earning good money and have a mortgage but now with the baby on the way, they're finding it difficult to reduce their spending and prepare for the big event. I thought our wonderful Down to Earth community here would be able to give "Jill and Jack" a good idea of what the first baby costs and how to reduce the general weekly expenses while waiting for the baby. This is part of what Jill wrote:

We are very used to earning good money and are now confronted with dropping to only my husband's very good wage of around $100,000 p.a. So I've spent this evening working on our budget ... We anticipate that the mortgage repayments will drop somewhat as we renegotiate our loans in November I believe.

As it is, I felt we were doing well to only have one old reliable car with Jack riding to work each day... and not spend a lot on clothing or cosmetics... but on doing our budget tonight I'm realising that we've been living over my husband's wage for several years at least. We haven't really tracked what we spend, other than putting a cap on our individual 'sanity allowances'. I know I have spent a lot on organic food and alternative health. We waste food and hope to do more home cooking - I have been eating more intentionally while pregnant.

(They have a good emergency fund but the sanity allowance (pocket money) Jill writes is $200 a week.)

Generally, we aspire to tithe 10% (which we've done consistently) and invest 10% (we haven't done this in the past several years).

Baby plans:

I like the idea of not being forced back to work by money but rather by interest or previous employers 'needing a hand'. We plan to have two kids which I guess might mean that I'll be at home for 5 years. I now have an ABN and can consult from home but don't know if this will pan out or if I'll want to distract myself from the kid(s).

Family have a lot of second hand gear for us and we'll get significant presents from older family eg. prams etc.

Key questions:

- How much should it cost us to live well? Particularly the food budget!

- How much do kids cost? In the first year of life and later?

- Should I be planning to go back to work, or can we easily live within Jack's salary still tithing and saving for our future?

Jill's email was much more comprehensive than the summary given above but it was much too long to include all of it. I don't want to give any advice on the cost of setting up for a baby other than to encourage Jill to accept all the secondhand and pre-loved clothes and equipment that she's offered.

I do want to address the change of mindset though, Jill. It's a change that will take you from being a young couple who have worked hard and had the good fortune to buy a home and many of the other things you want, to being parents with the responsibility of raising a family. When you think about it, up until now, you two have been the children, buying what you want, going out and enjoying life - as you should. Your baby will change that. Not only in monetary terms but also in the amount of spare time you'll have. There are many parents earning a lot less than you who have children, so it certainly can be done. I think it's best to consider the kind of parents you wish to be then work out from there. Work out what kind of life you want for your family - money is just the means to get the lifestyle you want. One thing I do know with certainty is that there will be change and sacrifices coming and there is no way around that. Some of them you'll love, some you won't love but they'll just be some of the changes that a baby will bring.

I hope you can address the matter of food wastage. You can do that by sticking to your budget and with menu planning and stockpiling. I believe fresh food is better for you than organic food that has travelled a long distance. Try to find a butcher and fruit and vegetable market and develop a relationship with the owners. There are a lot of growers who aren't certified organic and yet they grow their produce with no insecticides and herbicides, and if they're local, they'll be fresh. You need your food to be full of nutrients and fresh food is more likely to have them. There is a section in your budget for gardening, maybe you could enlarge on that, put in a vegetable garden and grow organically.

It would be great if you did track your money from now on, maybe for a month or two to see what you're both spending. I bet you'll be surprised. You have a lot of guessed items in your budget and you need to know the reality of it. For instance, you're spending $2000 a year on dental on top of your health insurance, and $15,600 a year on food for just the two of you. One of the sacrifices you both make may be that you halve your sanity allowance to $100 a week and put the other $100 towards your mortgage.

And now it's over to our dear readers. If you have any useful information for Jill and Jack, please take the time to comment. I am sure they're not the only parents to be or new parents reading here and there are many experienced parents here with a lot of knowledge. Good luck!

I love being alone. There is something about living alone for a few days that puts life into perspective and cleanses the soul. It does for me anyway. When a house that is usually full of the noise of domestic activity falls silent, it brings me back into myself and all of a sudden there are new possibilities; I see things differently. There is the opportunity for work to be done when I feel like it, not when it is usually done. I don't mind telling you that the past couple of months have been really tough going. Since Hanno's accident and subsequent illnesses, many trips out to the hospital and therapist, dealing with my work and his, and trying to write, has been exhausting and on the razor's edge of impossible. We got through it by knowing that life would return to what we think of as normal when the time was right for it.

This is a winter shawl I'm making for myself using leftover bits of organic cotton.

These months have been a valuable reminder to me that life is not always sunshine and cups of tea in the garden. The easiness of life is balanced out, sooner or later, by the not so easy. There is always balance.

Just Frankie, the tea and me.

So where is Hanno? He's driving to Sydney with his relatives. They'll stay at Manly beach for a few days, have a few days in the Blue Mountains and then come home again. After a few days here, they'll all be off again, with Jens and Cathy as well, up to the Carnarvon Gorge, Longreach, the Whitsunday Islands and through Gladstone to see Shane, Sarndra and Alex. And all the time I will be here doing what I do and enjoying the solitude. There is no place I would rather be, no finer house, no cleaner air to breathe, nowhere better to wake up.

Looking over from my reading spot, the back garden at 4pm.

Today the travellers left at 5.30am and I fussed outside over the chooks and garden for an hour or so. After breakfast of crumpets and tea I left the dishes in the sink and started organising myself for some writing I should have started six weeks ago. I worked for a few hours, then sorted through some fabric and yarn before Cathy came over and we went to the post office to send off a book to Kuwait. Back home again I read for a while and although I had a few things I could be doing, I just ambled along, enjoying the silence and knowing that for dinner all I would be cooking was two poached eggs and some toast. Life's like that. One day it's chicken and vegetable casserole for six, the next it's poached eggs for one. There is always balance.

I am an introvert and I appreciate and enjoy solitude. Do you like being alone?

I am often asked to review books and say 'no' to most of the requests. Then Country Gardens Country Hospitality came along and I said 'yes'. I don't say 'no' to be contrary, it's because the majority of the books I'm emailed about don't interest me. I wouldn't read them and I don't recommend anything that I wouldn't use myself. When this book arrived, I read the introduction and knew my intuition had stood me in good stead. This is part of it:

"... when I walked into Heather Roll's house, her dining room table was groaning with homemade slices and cakes that her gardening community had made for the launch of my latest book, which was taking place the next day. And when I arrived at the venue for the launch the following morning, each round table was set with beautiful arrangements of roses that had been picked from local gardens. It was impossible not to be deeply moved by such generosity.

...

Country cooking is most often a celebration of what is grown locally: livestock raised with integrity and with tender, loving care; eggs from backyard chickens; fruit from home orchards; vegetables from the garden. Produce is swapped and shared with neighbours, or snapped up at farmers' markets."

This book is beautifully presented, it felt very familiar to me and I loved reading it. The author, Holly Kerr Forsyth, travelled around Australia in 2010, during the drought, visiting the families and gardens featured in the book. In each home she visited, country hospitality was rich and abundant and old family recipes shared. Such recipes were: pink elderflower syrup, raspberry sorbet, French bean salad, apple and walnut cake, and many more. I don't know the people featured but I know what sort of kitchens they run and that they enjoy good wholesome food. These are country folk who most probably share my values, I feel like a neighbour to them.

Having written my own book I know how focused you need to be to write a book such as this. A book that endeavours to give a clear account of each family home and garden, and the food that is frequently produced there. Country people in Australia are different to city folk and Holly Kerr Forsyth has captured that difference. There is an eagerness to provide hospitality to visitors and a connection to local community that is often lacking in larger and busier places. This is a good book, I recommend it to you and although I was going to have a book giveaway, this one I'm keeping for myself. :- ) It's published by The Miegunyah Press, an imprint of Melbourne University Publishing Limited.

Another true gem I came across this week is the magazine Frankie. You and I both know I'm not one for magazines nowadays and most of the time I'm either at home, or wandering around completely oblivious to the commercial world around me. This week, while waiting for Hanno to finish his visit to the doctor, I wandered into the newsagent at Montville and there Frankie was, waiting for me. It cost ten dollars but I could not resist buying it - the cover is unlike anything I've seen on a magazine and I couldn't walk away. It looks and feels like a hand-stitched sampler. I thought it might be a new magazine but on the inside cover, it says it's the 50th edition, AND it's a Brisbane magazine! Why didn't I know?

I'm going to make one of these.

Walking back to the car I had a chance to look through it before Hanno returned and I was hoping it would not disappoint. It didn't. It's full of clever articles, the layout and design is innovative and beautiful, and even though I'm in my mid-60 and definitely not the demographic they're after, I loved it. They even have an advert for Etsy in there. Crikey, homemade strikes back. I loved Pui Pui Tam's An Open Letter to the man who threw the pie at my head and I've bluetacked the I've choreographed a special dishwashing dance for you poster to the side of my fridge. I might do that dance during my days of solitude that start today, but I'll write about that tomorrow.

Sure there were things I rolled my eyes at, and there were parts where I thought, not again! When you're my age you realise that the wheel is never reinvented, it's refashioned, recycled, rehashed, repaired, renewed and revamped. And they've certainly done that but in a genuine, original and authentic sense that is aimed at a generation much younger than mine. I haven't finished reading it, in fact I've only read about a quarter of the entire magazine, but it has won me over well and truly. I might not buy every copy but I will buy it when I can.

This is the inside back cover.

I often hear from my contemporaries that younger generations are lazy and dumbed down. I suppose some young people are like that (I know some older people are), but my own sons and DILs are that age, so is my editor Jo and her husband Eli, so too are Greg and Soph who visited two weeks ago, and Katie and Reuben who will visit next week. They aren't lazy and they're certainly not dumb. I reckon Frankie represents them. Their lives are focused on sustainability and truth, with a touch a whimsy and vintage nostalgia thrown in for interest's sake. They get it! and I think Frankie gets it too.

I have written in the past about how trying to be perfect holds you back rather than helps you. Life as we live it is a changeable feast and what works one day, sometimes fails to work the next. I had an email a couple of weeks ago from a reader who have is having trouble coping with this flexible approach and it's making her life more difficult than it needs to be. Emily wrote that she read what I'd written about writing down what she wanted her life to look like and the ways she could go about realising that life. She wrote up a set of rules for herself as a guide. Her rules included "buy organic food" and "make green cleaners" as well as others, but those two in particular are giving her grief. She couldn't do those two things every time she wanted to and it was making her feel guilty and lazy (her words, not mine).

I think Emily's approach to changing her life is commendable. She's committed, focused and determined for it to work but it seems to me that she's set herself up for failure by not being flexible enough. What happens in our daily lives is not set in stone. You don't have to make decisions that never change. Living a simple life is organic and ever-changing. Life is complicated at times and sometimes those complications clash with lists and plans.

I suggested to Emily that instead of having "buy organic food" on her list, she should write down, "when my budget allows, buy organic food". Instead of "make green cleaners" I asked her to write down "put aside one Saturday afternoon every three months to make green cleaners". It won't take an entire afternoon but she should give herself time so she's not rushed and she has time to write down any changes she makes and to have a cup of tea when she's finished.

We're not in the army. We have no strict rules to go by and while it's wonderful and helpful to write down your goals, remember that you're human and sometimes things don't go according to plan. So when you're writing your lists, be flexible and soften your bullet points. This is supposed to be enjoyable, not a way of causing guilt and extra pressure. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Look for the pleasure in the ordinary things that surround you. Take the time to enjoy what you do. And if you don't have the time to do one of the things on your list, that's fine, tell yourself it is and that you'll do it tomorrow. When you're out in the world either shopping, working or driving around, there are hundreds of rules you have to abide by. The rules of the road, the social rules of personal space and courtesy, you don't steal from the shops you go to, you silently respect those around you. The rules are endless. One of the many pleasures of being at home is that the only rules that apply are those you and your family make. Make your lists but be flexible.

One of the things that works well for me is to make a daily list. I usually write it when I'm writing this blog in the early morning. I jot down things I need to do and want to do during the day - the most important ones at the top, less important at the bottom. As I work through the day, I cross them off and if I get to the end of the day, or to the end of my strength, with something on the list still undone, I write up tomorrow's list and it's on the top of that. Sometimes I regret not doing that one thing but most of the time I just know that it's the way things are and no amount of guilt, regret, sadness or anger will change what is.

I hope all my friends on the east coast of the US are safe and sound. I've not seen any TV reports yet but the pictures online show some terrible damage. I just received an email from my agent Abby who lives in Brooklyn and works in NYC. She said she can't get in to the city, the subways are under water and the server is down in the office. The good news is that she is safe and dry. I hope everyone in the storm-effected areas stay safe and that there is not too much damage in your homes. Hanno and I are thinking of you.

~~~~~

I was all over the place yesterday. Hanno has had a terrible run of luck with his health since that chain saw accident. Now he has cellulitis of the foot and gout in the ankle - same leg, so he's been in a wheelchair these past few days and I've driven him around to hospital and doctor and home again. It takes up so much time, not that there is anything else we can do, but going out and driving around in traffic is the last ting I want to do when I have so much to do here at home.

We have visitors coming from Germany at the end of the week. Hanno's neice Martina and her husband Michael, son Jona and another cousin, Sasha, will stay with us. There are great plans to go to Sydney and up north to Longreach and the Whitsundays but it all hinges on one man's foot and ankle at the moment. We're really looking forward to the visit. There'll be a lot of catching up to do as well as many sightseeing drives, I have no doubt.

In preparation for the visit, I'm turning my badly neglected ironing room, formerly Shane's bedroom, into a single guest room. The evidence that I am no saint is above in picture form. As you can see, I'm far from perfect, but that's okay, I know my flaws and accept them. Hopefully, tomorrow, there'll be a photo of a transformed comfortable bedroom suitable for one of our guests.

This is the last bit of planting we did a couple of weeks back.

My day started on time yesterday at 4am when I wrote my blog and then, with the sun creeping up through the clouds, I fed the animals and chickens. The coop needs a good clean out and I'm hoping to get to it on Thursday. Not that the chickens mind at all. They're constantly scratching around in the straw looking for bugs or a stray sunflower seed or piece of corn. After I filled up their water containers, I watered the vegetables and bush house and collected a small basket of tomatoes. Soon, most of the garden will be laid bare. There are still a few things growing but it's nowhere near what it looked like a few weeks back. It hasn't been a good year in the garden but that may be more to do with us not being here much at the beginning of the season rather than any shortfall in the soil or plants.

When I was feeding the chooks, I could hear a constant close buzzing. I looked up and noticed the bees flying through the pendulous male catkins on the pecan tree that shades the chicken run. Walking back to take some photos of the garden, I could see the bees swarming around the Queen Anne's Lace flowers too. They were rolling their bodies over the top of the flowers. I almost expected to hear tiny bee laughter. Queen Anne's Lace are ideal flowers to attract beneficial insects into the garden. Along with the bees, wasps, lady beetles, assassin bugs, lacewings and spiders love lace flowers, and all of them are an asset in a biologically diverse garden.

Before I went grocery shopping, I did a load of washing and hung that out. Then I was out buying groceries and trying to change my phone and internet bundle to better suit our current needs. We had to buy a new phone a couple of weeks ago and when we did that, the woman in the Telstra shop told us that we could change our bundle after the 28th. Well, that, it seems, was wrong and now I have lodged a complaint and I'm waiting for them to call me back. We've never had a problem with Telstra before so I'm hoping that all this will be sorted out too.

There are a lot of very hot chillies on the bush this year. I'll pick these soon and dry them along with some herbs.

While I was down at Caloundra, I decided to shop at Coles. I'm not sure why, curiosity I guess. Never again! I found most of their products overpriced with only one item in the various sections reduced right down. I went down to the cold section and stared at the cheap milk. I think I might have looked a bit demented because no one came to collect any milk while I was there. LOL They had all the cheap and commercial milks in a big section in the middle, then Maleny milk on one side of that, and the other independent Queensland milk at the other end of the store, with the cheese. I guess the independents are happy just to have their milk stocked by a big retailer but I wish there was more support for the independents from the shoppers and more respect for the supply chain from Coles. I won't be lured in their again, it's back to Aldi and the IGA for me. Do you shop at Coles?

Back home again, I unpacked all my groceries washed up, tidied the kitchen, fed the animals again, put up some of the new christmas advertising buttons and started this post. Soon I'll get tea on and if I'm lucky I'll watch Time Team without going to sleep. Somehow, I don't like my chances. So, it's morning now and I've seen the devastation in the USA. I didn't watch Time Team because after dinner I had some work to do on the computer, then I went straight to bed at 7.30. I've just spoken to Hanno and his foot and ankle are still red, swollen and painful. We'll have to go back to the doctor again today and see what else can be done for him.

It will be another busy day here. I hope your day is productive and enjoyable. Stand by for the updated photo of our guest room, I am determined to finished the room off today and to clean the oven. Take care everyone!

If you decide to take the big leap of faith and turn your back on this consumerist society we live in, often you'll produce some of your own food, move towards a local community based economy, or you'll have a combination of the two. If you decide to make a less drastic change and simplify at home while earning a wage at work, your change will probably be governed, to a certain extent, by the amount of time you have at home. Either way, there will be changes, and change is sometimes unsettling. It seems like such a big step at first but as you get used to it, and move into your change, a feeling of calm takes over as you begin to take charge of your life. When you think about it, the consumerist model that we all know so well, takes much more than it gives. It takes away our ability to look after ourselves, unless we have access to money and a shop; it removes us from our traditional skill set - the skills our great grandparents held close and passed on; and it takes away confidence, a sense of purpose and pride in our own productivity.

I created this little sampler many years ago. If you want to stitch it yourself, there is a pattern you can print out here.

When I first made my change it felt right almost straight away. As the days grew into weeks, then months, I realised that this feeling of calm and comfort came about because the work of simple life and self-reliance is nurturing work. I felt empowered by it. All that organisation, cleaning, fluffing nests, repairing, recycling, cooking, knitting, sewing and gardening - this work brings us together, it supports us and develops our spirit. When I put on my apron in the morning, I think of the work my change has brought me and I smile at the thought of it. This work has helped make me what I am today.

Living as we do is a gift and a privilege. To outsiders, what I do might just look like housework, but to me it's a daily decision and ever-evolving process to make the life I want and to create a home I feel comfortable and settled in. This is not passive cleaning and organising. It's a proactive and conscious process. I have taken charge of my home and worked out what I need to do to give us the life we want. It always involves work, if you're lazy, or expect things to be done for you, this is not the life for you. This life requires involvement, intelligence, dedication, patience, generosity and work - lots of hard work.

As I work through my day, I think about what I gave up and what I gained because of it. My change shifted my focus from things and money to people and feelings. I went from thinking about making money to looking for ways to save money. If you keep your eye on the prize - the prize being a good relationship with your family and that feeling of constant contentment, this life will give you someone to love, something to do and something to look forward to. You can't go far wrong with that.

Our days are fleeting and even if you're in the middle of raising a brood of small children and you wonder when you'll ever get a break, most of what we do lasts such a short time. Slowing down enough to enjoy each day - whether it is spent working in your home, in the garden, with your friends and family or away from home at a paid job. Embrace your work, it will make you stronger. Whether it is home-based or commercial, or a combination of the two, the work you do will equip you for life and enrich you. It might not seem so at the time, but with the benefit of hindsight, you'll see that those hard working days turned you away from some things and towards others, making you a different person in the process.

If you're new to all this, step up to it with enthusiasm. Rely on traditional ways but modify them when you have to and do your work your own way. If you have a good day, build on it tomorrow. If you have a bad day, go to bed early, have a good sleep and get up ready to get stuck in again. Every so often, think about all the changes you've made and be mindful of how far you've come. It may not always feel like it but you're building a new life and going against the tide to do it. That not only takes strength and resilience it also builds character and confidence. And if you build your life with all new those values, there will be no stopping you.

There is a wonderful giveaway prize of Amish dolls clothes and a book here. Hurry, it closes today.

I've had an unusually large number of people ask me what I've been reading lately. Well, apart from the obvious, in the past two months I've finished The Contented Chook, The New Home Larder, and Annie's Garden to Table, this last book was sent to me by the lovely Anne (calico ann) at the D2E forum. I'm now reading A Year of Slow Food. There was a time, pre-babies, when I read about three books a week. Now I read a book a month and sometimes not even that. I'm always going back to my core group of books though. These include The Complete Book of Self Sufficiency by John Seymour, Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon, Wild Fermentation by Sandor Ellix Katz, The Thrifty Kitchen by Suzanne Gbbs and Kate Gibbs and Real Food by Matthew Evans.

The Contented Chook is an ABC book published by Harper Collins. This was sent to us by a lovely man, Ted Dobbs, who we met in Toowoomba. Ted owns the Dymocks book shop there and originally asked me to take my pick of books in his store, then posted this book out to Hanno. Thanks again Ted! It started out as a feature in Gardening Australia magazine when they had a feature asking readers to send in photos of their chook houses. There are about 60 photos of chook houses around the nation but also a good guide to the various chook breeds available in Australia, and much more. The section on looking after your chooks is excellent.

The New Home Larder by New Eden Books is a British book in two parts. Part one is how to stock and maintain a larder and part two is all recipes. It would be a good book for a young homemaker but I didn't find much in there that was new.

Annie's Garden to Table by Annie Smithers is an Australian book published by Lantern, an inprint of Penguin. Annie is a women who has worked as a chef and transferred that knowledge and passion to her own farm. It's a seasonal book, going through a series of recipes month by month. I don't think seasonal books work well in Australia because our country is so big, there is no one size fits all here. Nevertheless, I did enjoy this book a lot. It highlights the importance of fresh local food and quality ingredients. The recipes and writing are good and there are delightful diary entries such as 31 May ~ Finding pleasure in patience.

My last book, the one I'm about to start, is A Year of Slow Food by David and Gerda Foster. This is an old book, published by Duffy and Snellgrove in 2001. It was sent to me by my good friend Kathleen who has just finished reading it. She loved it so I'm looking forward to it very much. It's the story of a family with eight children who, 25 years ago, moved to the Southern Highlands of New South Wales to become productive and self reliant. They taught themselves to milk cows and grow enough food to feed themselves - all while renovating a derelict house to live in. It sounds like my kind of book and I'm looking forward to reading it.

What have you read lately that you recommend?

I've had a couple of requests to write about ongoing changes as you age and get ready for retirement.

Hopefully, by the time you're in your mid-to late fifties, your children will have packed their things and moved out to start their own lives. This is one of the things you've worked towards for many years - not for them to leave but to see them set up their own home, maybe with someone they love, or a couple of friends. At this stage, you hope that all you've given your children - the love, time, effort, advice and guidance will allow them to spread their wings and find success and happiness on their own.

When that happens, you go back to being a couple again, or maybe a single person. Either way, you'll have a lot more freedom. You'll probably have more money too. The key to this stage of life is to have all your debt paid off because you want to be at that stage before you retire. If you do find you have more money and you still have debt to pay, put all that extra money towards your debt. Make sure you're paying your mortgage fortnightly instead of monthly, continue to live frugally and use all your spare cash to pay off your mortgage as soon as you can.

It might be a good idea to talk to your bank to make sure you're on target with the mortgage and to find out exactly how long it will be before you pay that last payment. While you're in that frame of mind, check your superannuation fund (401K/retirement fund) to see what money will be available to you when you retire. Even though you've got another ten years before that happens, it's best to know now if there will be less than you expect so you have a chance to make adjustments if you need to. Work out for yourself how much you need each year to live and multiply that by 20 and that will give you an approximate amount. In most countries men live to their late 70s and women to their mid 80s but no one knows how long they'll live - there is a fair bit of guess work needed so most people go by the average age lived. If you know you'll have to live on a government pension, research that so you know what to expect.

On the practical side, now is a good time to take a fresh look at your home. Will this house suit you when you're 20 or 30 years older? If you have to move, it's best to do that after the kids have left home and while you still have some capacity to earn. Think how you might be in the future, you need your home to support your needs, not hinder them. You might need to move if your home has a lot of stairs, if you're in a built up area and you want a quieter place, if it's too big for you with the children gone, or if you've lost your partner and the memories are difficult. If you do move, look to a smaller home, maybe with two bedrooms, and a smaller yard. You might want to grow your own vegetables or have a flower garden and chooks. If you're lucky, the sale of a larger home to move to a smaller one, might wipe out your mortgage. Look around with that in mind. Now is not the time to upscale or go upmarket. Choose what you know you'll need and be happy with that. Financial freedom might be just around the corner and if it is, you'll soon see the benefits of a smaller home. If you're renting, ask if the future is reasonably secure. Again, if you think you might have to move, it's best to do it when you have the energy for it and possibly just before you retire.

Decluttering will also be on your agenda. It's an idea time to do this when the kids leave home because you'll be able to pass on a lot of your family treasures. It will give you the space you need and it will give your children a good start in their first home while keeping the heirlooms in the family.

When you're sure you're in the home you will live in forever, do an audit of the house and yard. What needs fixing - now, in five years time and in ten years? You may need to install some extra handrails or make sure the steps are completely non-slip. If you want to grow vegetables and keep chickens when you retire, think about that now. Think of all the ways you can save money in your home when you have more time to do it.

Will you need fences? Hanno and I have found that fences of various styles and lengths have been a feature of our backyard since we moved here 15 years ago. Sometimes we had dogs, always chooks, we now have grandkids and fences have helped us keep then all away from the garden. We moved our fences when the dogs died, re-fenced again when we had grandkids. Do you want to have a potting shed/green house? It's time to do all that work, and the fencing, in your fifties. It was my experience and that of a few friends of mine that we lost our strength between 55 and 60. Do all the work that will set you up later in life when you have the strength for it.

If you want to start a new hobby, raise a garden or chooks, now is the time to start researching and teaching yourself everything you can about it. There will be more learning along the way, but at least get a start on it now. Once you know more about one of your choices, it may not seem as sensible as it did before. When the kids leave home, learn to cook for two, or one. This will impact on your shopping and how you store food as well. Make sure you still eat healthy food and make the time to cook - you are worth it.

Look at your appliances - if you still have the same fridge or washing machine you had 20 or 30 years ago, now is the time to replace it. The new appliances use electricity much more efficiently than the old ones did so you might replace your fridge or stove now and notice a decrease in electricity usage. You might find you want to get rid of a few appliances you no longer need - such as the dishwasher, clothes dryer, microwave. If you can afford it, install solar panels - it's a sizeable expense but it will pay off in the coming years.

Make sure you maintain your friendships and keep your family close over the years. Retirement is the time you will rely on them much more than in the past. And when you do retire maintain your internet activities and enjoy your online communities, but make sure you enjoy the outernet too. That is where life happens.

Cleaning mould from walls and fabrics

With all this rain around we've developed a mould problem in our home. Usually we have the front and back doors open and that good ventilation stops most moulds from establishing. However, with the house locked up for the past week, the high humidity and the rain, mould is now growing on the wooden walls near our front door and on the lower parts of cupboards in the kitchen. Most of us will find mould growing in our homes at some point. Either in the bathroom or, in humid climates, on the walls, like we have now. You'll need a safe and effective remedy at some point, so I hope one of these methods works well for you. Mould is not only ugly to look at, it can cause health problems so if you see mould growing, do something about it straight away. The longer you leave the problem, the harder it will be to get rid of it effectively. If you have asthma or any allergies, you should do this type of cleaning with a face mask on so you don't breathe in any spores. Many peopl...

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