down to earth

I will be 60 years old tomorrow. I can hardly believe it. How can someone who so clearly remembers being at school, seeing Bob Dylan, the Beatles and Rolling Stones when they were in their 20s, revelling in the first flush of motherhood and then being pregnant again 12 weeks later, and all those memories of my teenage sons, how could she be 60? It’s amazing. But it’s also wonderful, life affirming and beautiful. I love being my age. I feel I’ve gained my stripes and that I’m now a senior member of my community. I’m not sure what’s ahead for me but I want to make my later years just as interesting, if not more so, as my younger years. I owe that to myself, to Hanno, my sons and to those people who might look to me as a role model.

We have few good role models in this life. We all know they’re not apparent in the media; the mothers and women we see each day in magazines and on TV are not real. They’re a conglomeration of the 50s housewife and whoever has been fashionable on TV recently. I would like to have a role model that I can relate to; an authentic woman who believes in herself, works hard, supports her family and friends and who rejects the modern idea that no matter what age we are we must look and act young. I would like to have a role model who is independent, non-conformist and who expands the current idea of what it is to be an older woman in our society.

Before I started going grey I used to dye my hair. As soon as the grey appeared, I stopped. My hairdresser told me I did the opposite of what other women did and that I should keep dyeing my hair to cover the grey. I stopped going to that hairdresser. I don’t want to support people or businesses who tell women to copy every other carbon copy and who imply that women only have value if they look young. I want to look like myself. I want to look my age. I want to be authentic. I feel comfortable being me. I don’t look fashionable, I only look presentable when I go to work, often I look a bit daggy when I’m at home. I’m okay with that because I want to use the time I have, not on sprucing myself up, but on working on my life.

I know that what I look like doesn’t matter to my loved ones, just as what they look like doesn’t matter to me. It’s more important to me that they feel confident, loved and comfortable. I know that there will be days I look okay and days I don’t. If your hair is greying, if you’ve put on a few pounds or you feel you’re too skinny, too tall, not pretty enough, have the wrong colour eyes, or hair, or shoes, all those things are signs you don’t feel comfortable with you, and no matter what you change, you won’t change that feeling until you develop self esteem.

If you are struggling with aging or the fashion thing, if you haven’t yet developed your own style, I encourage you to stop thinking about what others think and decide what you want – what makes you happy and valued? If you can feel comfortable in your own skin, despite how you look, you will reap the rewards of it. Being your own true self will strengthen and sustain you. You won’t look to others for guidance on how to look and be, you will know what it takes to make you comfortable and you fix yourself on that.

One of the many wonderful things age brings, is confidence – it is but one of its many rewards. If you’re much younger, develop your own sense of style and confidence as you age. I will guarantee you this: if you try to fit into what your friends think you should be, you will never be tall enough, pretty enough, slim enough, or have the right clothes in the right colour, length or style. You will always fall short if you use someone else’s yardstick to measure yourself. As you evolve into the true and authentic person you are, without the trimmings – you will develop the grace and style that no fashion magazine could hope to emulate. You will be a confident woman, secure in the knowledge that you are who you are and not just a copy of someone else.

There is freedom in truly owning the face, hair and body of your own real age, even if they don't fit in with the current fashion. It is part of living an authentic life, rejecting the expectations of fashion and the judgement of friends and colleagues, to live as you really are. I know it takes courage to change, but if you feel uncomfortable or stressed or worn out by constantly trying to look young, slim and fashionable, I’m here to tell you that changing to what you really see yourself to be will liberate you and that growing older is nothing to fear.

I will be 60 years old tomorrow! I won't post as it is Bel's day and I might have a sleep in. After today I won't go on and on about my birthday or ageing for a while but I hope you've experienced a bit of joy I feel in turning 60. It really is a wonderful feeling.

This is the fabulous tote bag that Chas sent me. It seems Hanno has claimed it though and uses it at every opportunity. Thanks Chas, we both love it.

Today's the day! Today we are having a leisurely lunch in the shade outside and will feast with family and friends. Almost everything has been cooked. I just have to make two cakes - a pecan, coffee and brandy cake and a lemon cake, some homemade macaroni and cheese and a couple of salads and we'll be set.

My sister Tricia is already here, Kathleen arrives this morning, along with one of my sons, Kerry. A handful of friends will arrive around 1pm.

It's quite exciting getting ready for an event like this. We've been slowly working towards it for about a week, doing this and that, so we didn't have to work frantically at any one time. I keep forgetting it's my birthday - and my 60th at that! Actually, today is just the day we are celebrating, my real birthday is on Tuesday, April 15. I believe the 15th is tax day in America, but it's also the birthday of Leonardo da Vinci and the anonymous lady who commented yesterday. Happy birthday anonymous, and Leo if you're reading this. ;- )

I'm looking forward to turning 60, I am proud to be the age I am. I'm not dying my hair nor having botox injections - I'm aging naturally, pleased I've made it this far and happy I've achieved what I have. Despite what women's magazines would have you believe, aging is not something to be disguised or despised, is just the natural process that leads us all through life to each following stage. I feel that this stage will be a good one for me.

And now, my friends, I'm off to make a bit of noise. It's 4.54am, people and dogs are sleeping soundly in this house but I need to make cakes, so they'll just have to put up with the noise of pots and pans and a beater for a little while. There is work to be done.

Thank you for visiting and for your comments during the week. I try to comment on the comments but often time gets away from me, I do read every one of them though. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

There have been a few enquiries lately about how to convince your family you haven't gone completely nuts when you start living a more simple life. My advice: don't even try.

When I sat alone on my verandah all those years ago thinking about what I wanted my life to be and how I would be able to achieve my dream, many things were uncertain, but I knew one thing to be as clear as day - Hanno would not want to do it. He grew up in a time when everyone worked as hard as they could to buy everything a comfortable life would hold. In those days you worked your way up the ladder of quality and size - if you could afford a small house, that is what you bought. When you earned more money, you sold your small house and bought a bigger one. All the way you kept working towards more, bigger and better. I had never know a time when Hanno didn't work. Even when we moved back home to Australia after spending a couple of years in Germany, we stayed with my parents in Sydney for a while, and the day after we arrived home Hanno looked for a job. The day after that, he was working. He always worked for the good of our family, he always wanted us to have the best we could afford. Success, for both of us, was defined by what we owned and how little debt we carried.

We both know now that flimsy definition didn't come close to what success should mean.

So when I was thinking about how I should convince Hanno towards this life, I thought the best way was to just explain my vision to him. I thought that if I told him about living a greener and more frugal life he would immediately see how wonderful it could be and set about planning this new utopia with me. I had already closed my business down, I told him my thoughts and explained how we could live a free and easy life by him closing his shop and us both working to make and grow what we needed at home.

He listened closely and then asked me if I'd gone completely mad.

:- (

I realised then that my dream, the way I could see our lives, was not shared. It had been bubbling away in my head for a while, I'd been quietly doing a few frugal and green things for a few years and Hanno just didn't get it.

Plan B

I didn't mention it again. I started doing all the things I wanted to do at home. I cooked everything from scratch, made everything I could at home, stopped shopping, started building a stockpile, enlarged the vegetable garden, bought more chickens and reduced our grocery shopping. After about six months he could actually see what I wanted - it was there before him, a real interpretation of what my dream was. He couldn't argue with that. He could see it worked, he could see I was happier than I had been in years, he could see this life had changed me for the better. I suppose it was another year or two before he actually closed the shop, knowing we would not only survive this life, but thrive in it.

Now, having said all that, it would be quite irresponsible of me to not warn you that life is ever-ready to throw you some unexpected curved balls. Doing what we did worked mainly because we have no debt and we are the age we are. Doing it earlier would have required that we set up a small business to run from home. We would have needed an income. Not much, but enough to pay our house rates, health insurance, electricity and gas bills etc. And you can live simply without giving up work. It really does rely on your stage of life. Look at how Bel is living with her lovely family. Bel and her husband with six children - they have fashioned a simply life that works well for them all. Bel's husband works and Bel homeschools the children and produces healthy food for them all.

Simple living has a lot to do with changing your mindset and how you see yourself and your actions. It's being independent and taking responsibility for what you do. And remember, simple living is not easy living. You work hard at times because you stop buying convenience. The convenience of ready made, or partially made, food, the convenience of buying a new car when the old one needs repairs, the convenience of plastic, and supermarket vegetables and a hundred other things.

So I guess my advice would be to just live your life the way you want to live it. Don't explain it to anyone, unless they ask. Your actions and commitment will speak much louder than what you have to say. Lead by example, others will follow. But if you're convinced you can make a go of this way of life, if you're willing to work hard and forsake the latest fashion in clothing, furnishings, houses and cars, if you can see that less is more and you want to work towards a healthier environment and a happier you, then go for it. The rewards are there for the taking.

My sister Tricia arrives tonight! Excitement is beginning to rise. Kathleen and Kerry arrive on Saturday.

I've had two fairly quiet days at work with a little bit of housework when I come home. Beds have been made, pillows fluffed up, Hanno cleaned windows yesterday, the lawn is mown - I think we're almost ready for our visitors. The weather has been quite cool, so it's a pleasure to work away knowing I'm preparing my home to share with my sisters, and son, and the friends who'll arrive on Saturday to have lunch with us all.

Soon, bottoms will fill these chairs, we'll drink tea and catch up on things not discussed over the phone or in emails. We will all help prepare the food for lunch, we have wine and beer for those who want it, and local organic coffee and organic tea for those who don't. I've changed the menu as we have a few men coming along now and I know they struggle with not eating meat - my son included. The new menu is spinach pie, homemade macaroni and cheese, beef lasagne and if I have time, a vegetable lasagne. I'll make bread, and butter from local cream, and serve some local cheese. Dessert will be a coffee and brandy cake.

I have to go to the shops to pick up a few things after work tonight and then I'll drive into Brisbane to pick up Tricia who is flying in from Sydney, due at 8.30pm. Good times.

I know there are quite a few ladies reading my blog who came to me from Jewels, and I've had emails from some who want to know how she is and if she is blogging. I received an email from Jewels yesterday. She isn't blogging - she invited a small number of us to her private blog just after she shut down public access - but that only lasted a few days, then she closed it. The family moved and she hasn't gone back to her blog again, although it is something she might do in the future. For the time being, she and her family are happy and well and enjoy being in their new home. She is praying that Hanno and I will travel over to visit them. I have invited Jewels to do a guest post here but she's very busy so it might be a long time coming. I'm sure many of you wish her well and I'll tell her that when I reply later this week.