7 January 2016

Good old housework

I feel a bit like a boat cast adrift. My routines haven't kicked in yet and I'm at a loss sometimes as to what I should be doing. I feel like the Queen Mary sailing into Sydney Harbour and just passing Fort Denison the pilot tells me not to dock at Circular Quay near the Harbour Bridge, but proceed up Parramatta River and find the smallest dock I can find to stay out of the way. And yes, I know this is all my own doing but it's taking a while to reorder my brain.  Letting go of the writing habit is difficult.


Of course it hasn't helped that I've pulled a muscle in my leg so I'm hobbling around and sitting down a lot. I decided to start knitting Tricia's cowl scarf to keep me out of trouble and that's been a real pleasure, but it's not enough. I've realised there are two habits I have to change - the writing itself, which was quite easy to stop, and thinking about writing, which is much more difficult. Transitions are tough. You're not one or the other but in that strange unfamiliar middle zone where old ways no longer work and it's easy to step on metaphorical snakes in the grass.


Well, I wrote all the above two days ago, my leg is fine now and I'm feeling more settled. I just have to get on with it. There is no use moping around like a 14 year old, I chose to stop writing and now I have to make it work.  In an attempt to get myself organised for the year, I started deep cleaning my kitchen benches and getting rid of junk in drawers that I've kept just in case. I feel good doing that and I'm rewarded with extra space and not having to look after things that have outlived their usefulness.




I spent some time outside this morning repotting some rare giant ferns (Angiopteris evecta). I've had them for a few years but moved them to another location on the front verandah and I think they got too much sun. It would only have been a brief hour of very early morning sun but it was still too much - they collapsed and I couldn't get them to rehydrate with normal watering. I took them out of their pot and sat them in a bucket of weak Seasol water. It took two days but they recovered.  Now I've divided them up into three separate plants, repotted them and when they start actively growing again, I hope to bring one into the lounge room.

Doing those tasks helps me move forward. Each day makes more sense than the one before it. The pieces are falling into place and the repetition of household chores gives structure to my days. Taking the time to organise myself for the months ahead and doing some physical reordering of my work spaces is pulling me back into familiar territory. Good old housework. There was a time when I could tell the time by what I was doing and that's starting to happen again. It looks like housework will save me again.

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24 comments

  1. I often wonder about the creating and breaking of habits - fascinating to say the least. Your observation about the "thinking about" a habit (writing in your case) was a clarity moment. I have been concentrating on changing habits but only at an external physical level. Your observation made the penny drop that it is actually a cerebral change.

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  2. I am in the similar boat. You have encouraged me to get up and just get started. Thanks!

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  3. Like long tread paths in our memory forest you're so gently finding that natural stride again, Rhonda. A joy to read of. The gentle rhythms of life are so comforting for me. I made the decision that this year would embrace a gentle domestic life again and this led me to the decision to scale back my home-based business and only work part-time. I suppose because the office and design space are in my home, stepping away from the habit of working all day hasn't been as easy as I imagined - but I wrote a few things down as a fresh morning routine and each day as I flow with it this new life-rhythm becomes a little more normal. Theres contentment, and I'm smiling more, like there's a happy skip in my thoughts all the time. Thank you for explaining what you're experiencing now at the end of writing....it gave me a clearer picture of what I've been feeling. Bless you, Rhonda.

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  4. Oh another clever knitter, I love the colour of the wool.

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  5. I see your point Rhonda, but at the same time not all decisions are irrevocable and certainly most are not written in stone. You can choose to write again should you want to; but I suppose too that it is nice to get back to the old routine of simple living in itself. You never know; you could come up with a new idea for a book!

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    1. Hopflower, my publisher says the same thing, that I can choose to write again. But no, this is final. I've thought about it for a long time and doing the work that makes living here possible and wonderful appeals to me much more than working as a writer.

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  6. Wow! It has been a long while since I visited and how wonderful that you have published! I love and have loved reading your blog and thank you for being so inspiring.

    I will spend several visits catching up!

    All the best
    from Sunny New Mexico,
    Jennifer

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  7. I'm so glad you wrote this. I recently decided to stop my sewing and craft business but I'm struggling so much with letting go. It's nice to know I'm not alone and it's normal to struggle in the transition.

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  8. I love this post. I am kind of in the same place and yes, its the comfort found in the household routine that makes everything feel right. You summed it up perfectly.

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  9. This is another reminder to me to take a minute or two to stop and think about what I'm doing when I feel so overwhelmed with all that I hope to achieve each day. I talk to myself, aloud, to explain what will be done first and then what will come next. I often hear your voice Rhonda, calmly reminding me to take it slowly, if something is not done today it can be done tomorrow. Your writing is sometimes like reading Buddhist teachings translated in a practical way. I hope your days continue to include the writings that we all so love to read. Peace, light and love to you my friend.

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    1. Thanks Sally. Yes, there is always tomorrow. xx

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  10. House work is so grounding when we feel unsettled isn't it? If my thoughts are jumbled and restless I love to tidy the house, put everything in its place and de-clutter bits and bobs as I go. Then clean the house top to bottom, perhaps with some music on. By the end of it my thoughts are nearly always ordered, what I need to do about what ever it is in front of me almost always becomes clear with the external sorting, and my knickers almost always unknotted. ;)

    Im glad to hear you are finding your usual rhythem. Would a third book be SO bad if you sort your self out and you realize you have just a little more to say? ;)

    Much love Rhonda,
    xx

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    1. I hope younger women will start writing after they've spent a decade or so luxuriating in home work. We always need leaders and role models, let's hope the voices that rise in the future will be authentic and profound. xx

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  11. Forgive me for giggling, but I think most of us can understand this sense of being adrift... It's sort of like when your last child leaves home and you wonder where you will put your energy now..It takes about six months, but suddenly, one day, you realize while you love your child, it is rather nice to have a soak without someone in the house waiting for the loo.... You are a worker bee, Rhonda, and you will fill up your time with meaningful and pleasurable tasks. One day, you will realize, as you sit on the veranda with a cuppa, that you have been watching the birds for the past hour and then you will know that you have settled in again... Of course, you are a writer and that is what writers do.. write... But that doesn't mean you have to do that for public consumption. You'll find balance... one day at a time. Enjoy!

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  12. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other Rhonda and I'm sure that before you know it, this will be your new normal routine, best of luck. Ps when I tried to comment this morning at 6am I wasn't able to, I kept hitting comment & nothing happened, just thought I'd mention it.

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  13. I think the feelings you are going through now may be similar to how most mothers feel when the last child leaves the family home. Everything around you is familiar, yet not. Duties and hobbies are the same and yet not. Somehow the almost capsized ship has to right itself then sail serenly on, maybe even chartering new waters. Sail on Rhonda, life is soooo good. (Smiley here).
    Ramona
    Uppsala/Sweden

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  14. well, everyone here has more or less said something along the lines of what i was thinking of saying ... but you still have your writing here, on the blog & i live for it most days, it is wonderful & inspiring, thank you.
    so glad your leg is much better, take care of yourself Rhonda
    love the colour of Trisha's cowl, may i ask what pattern you are going with? looks like it might be lacy?
    those ferns look beautiful, hope to see them when they are all settled?
    thanx for sharing

    selina from kilkivan qld

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  15. Rhonda,be kind to yourself on the days that you struggle to let go . It will take some adjusting but the rewards are sweeter then you even realise at the moment! Six months from now you will be a well rested , revitalised woman enjoying the simple pleasures in life that you so deserve! Your readers like me appreciate all that you've written & all the advice along the way , now it's your time to take care of YOU !

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  16. Dear Rhonda,
    Lovely to hear that you are getting around better and starting to enjoy your days again, here's to finding a new rhythm in the New Year !

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  17. I have found myself in a familiar rut again. Reading this post has reminded me that I need to get it "all straight in my head" before I can get it physically. I think I shall take the time to sit down and have a good talk with myself about what kind of life I want and how to go about living it.

    There is definitely comfort in routines. I am glad you are finding yours again! Darlene

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  18. Getting into a new rhythm is difficult isn't it. We can't just stop ourselves from taking about things overnight but it is good to have a rhythm to sink ourselves into to help that process. I hope you get there all in good time.

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  19. Stopping writing professionally doesn't have to mean the end of all writing. There's always the possibility of doing something for your family. My dad has written up several family stories (in our case he had to translate them from interviews he did with his father (in Polish) or his mother (in Italian), as well as writing his own memories down) and my siblings and I love having these to look over. Of course, you have your blog and your books that your family can read, but more personal writings just for them might be fun too.

    We're trying to get into a new rhythm around here as well. Something about seeing the back of 2015 (which was a rough year) has been rather energizing, and I'm taking some time each day to deep-clean a corner of the house (and teach the kids some new chores--realizing they are not babies anymore and can really help) and work on organizing our life here a little better. One step at a time, I feel like things are slowly coming together. One thing that has helped is realizing, once again, that in order to get more done at home, one must actually *be* home, not running errands or dashing here and there. Just taking a few things off my plate so I can be home more has helped a great deal.

    Wishing you all the best as you transition to this new phase!

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  20. 2015 was a terrible year for me so 2016 is going to be MY year, and the first thing I did was get sick, severe conjunctivitis in both eyes and feeling so so tired along with a sore throat.Routines have gone out the door, and maybe this is part of letting go. So I am "brain dumping" all my thoughts, aspirations, wish list, as I think of them. Interesting enough I feel better getting it all down on paper, becasue then I might find my way.

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