down to earth

There is no doubt about it, when most of us think of living a simple life, we think of the country. Hanno and I live on the edge of a rural town, an hour's drive from our State capital. We have lived in Hamburg, Sydney, various regional towns and cities and, for 13 years, in an isolated mining town; this way of life is suited to all those places, it is not just for country folk. I received an email from a young city girl the other day. She is 27 years old, newly married and longing to move to the country. She and her husband both work in the city and travel in from the suburbs each day on the train. She hates it and wants to start a family, be a SAHM and create a home in the country. She wrote saying she's delaying all her dreams so they can save for a house deposit but it's making her miserable. She wants to be making soap, knitting and cooking healthy meals instead. I told her I would answer her email here in this post today. I am sure many readers will also have friendly advice for her and maybe even be in the same position. If so, please take the time to share your experience.

The phrase "I live in the country" has a powerful and utopian feeling attached to it. It makes us think of long walks down quiet lanes, ducks on ponds, apron-clad grandmas taking scones from the oven and family dinners around a big kitchen table. Of course, country living can include all those things, but so can city living.

Start living the life you want right now where you are. You don't have to be in a country location to do any of the things that Hanno and I do. You are probably in a better place to shop frugally in a city, you have more supermarkets, butchers, green grocers and organic stores to choose from. If one doesn't suit, you choose another. You often don't have that choice in the country. If you learn how to shop wisely and use that saved money for your deposit, you'll be able to move sooner. You can learn how to cook from scratch in any kitchen. You can make soap anywhere. You can dispose of disposables, kick harmful chemicals out of your life, stop using plastic and start a natural beauty program right here, right now. You can learn how to knit and sew and as you have a long train ride to the city for work, that time could be put to good use by knitting on the train. All of those activities can help you slow down and live more simply, they will also help you save money so you can move sooner. See this as a period of preparation when you can build your skills, not a time when you just want it over and done with. All stages of life have good as well as bad bits, hopefully you'll learn equally from them both.

I often write about how important it is to provide a safe and comfortable home. I think that is more important in the city because outside your front door can be so uninviting. and chaotic Spending some time making your home the way you want it to be, within the limits of your tight budget, could be both a challenge and a blessing. I know this to be as true today as it was when I first married: working side by side with your husband towards shared goals, especially if they require hard work and commitment, has the potential to bind you closer together and make you a solid unit. Don't see this as hardship, although it might feel like it at times, this is just one stage of your life that will lead on to something better. Going through these hard times makes the good times better, you appreciate what you work towards and you understand the value of a good days work. Work is not an enemy, it can be the making of you.

See if you can work out a system where you live on one wage and save the other, or most of it. If you can do that, you'll be in the driver's seat and you'll be making the most of your situation. Talk to your husband about all this because you'll both need to be working towards the same goal. Make plans for the future you want together so that you both have the rewards clearly in your minds. You might need that when things don't go according to plan, and there will be those times. If you are lucky, living simply will make you more generous, tender, kinder, happier and more content but it will also make you strong, capable and a fighter. It is very rare indeed to have anything of value handled to you on a silver plate. Most things of value need to be worked for. Never forget that.

I think you're in a wonderful position. You're young and living with the person you've chosen to be with forever. That alone should help you climb most mountains you come across. But if you two can combine forces, decide what you value, come up with a plan on how to achieve what you both want and then work side by side for it, you'll get there. Simple living is a slow, small steps process. Having things instantly is a modern ideal what will bring you undone. Take your time, understand your strengths, work according to them and in time you'll get your dream. When you look back in 20 years, you'll realise that this time brought many significant rewards that make you the person you want to be.

I send you my best and hope the coming months will bring you the kind of life you're longing for. You might not be in the location you hope to be but you should be able to clearly see a way of getting there. Remember, you're not just building a simple life, you're also building a life with your husband, respect and trust for each other and a marriage. And that takes time.

If there is one true thing I can count on, one thing that reconnects me with what is important and tells me, with certainty, that I am where I should be, it's gardening and pottering around outside. The sky was bright blue, the temperature was about 20C and with two jumpers on I walked outside on Saturday to follow the call: "I'm digging potatoes!". It gets to me every time; potato digging is always exciting. You never know what will be there; it could be rotting seed potatoes or half eaten spuds attacked by insects and rodents, so when I walk away with good potatoes, I'm happy. From one spot just two square metres, Hanno dug up a bucket full of spuds. Nice work! We'll leave the rest of the bed for another time.

There are quite a few vegetables that taste much better straight from the garden - potatoes are in that select group. Any trouble you might have growing and tending them for three months is forgotten when you bite into that first new season potato. They just need a little salt and pepper, a pat of butter and a sprinkling of fresh chopped parsley and you have a king's feast. If you've been thinking about growing a few spuds, but hesitating, dive into it. Your first good harvest will be your significant reward.

Just before I was called into the garden I was working in my sewing room, tearing my sister Tricia's old linen dress into tomato ties. I didn't know then that I would be using them within the hour but when I looked at the tomatoes, they had tangled themselves into a mess so I spent a few minutes untangling them and tying them to their stakes.

The tomatoes above are an unknown (to me) variety that grew out of the lawn just near our back verandah. They're a cherry-type tomatoes but larger than our the Tommy Toes we usually grow so I'm thinking they might be Gardener's Delight that I had some seeds of a while back. Whatever they are, the rogue seeds grew where it suited them and have grown into the healthiest tomatoes we've had in a long time. There are so many trusses like the one pictured above, we'll be drowning in tomatoes soon. We also have two large varieties growing in the garden and another batch I grew from seed planted yesterday. If they all deliver on their promise, we'll have an abundance of tomatoes in jars for later in the year. Bliss!

This dill plant is taller than I am!

When you think about it, apart from touching the skin and hair of our loved ones and the food we eat, there are few other natural things that pass over our fingers. Most of what we touch these days is man-made - furniture, cars, door handles, appliances, vacuum cleaners, irons, the kitchen sink and bench, shopping bags, and the rest of it. Reconnecting with the natural world brings me back to a more gentle and forgiving place where the soil feels right, the herbs smell divine and picking a snow pea and eating it straight from the bush assures me that even if I work inside amidst the artificial, the natural world waits patiently for me outside and always, always, welcomes me back again.

Eventually, when I came back inside, I had my little harvest basket full of produce. It was full of green tomatoes that will ripen on the bench, a couple of fat cucumbers and some green beans. A nice addition to our kitchen supplies.

Back yard food production not only gives you fresh, healthy, organic food, it also demonstrates the self confidence of knowing how to grow, of being a worthy custodian of the land you live upon and the wisdom of backing yourself by believing that a small seed, if tended and encouraged, will sustain you and your family. So many of our traditional skills have been lost to us, but food gardening is still here, available to all who wish to plan their garden and work to achieve that dream. If you're not gardening yet, I encourage you to start, even if it's in pots or containers. And if you're already out there with Hanno and I, breathing in the fresh air, getting your hands dirty and feeling good because of it, well you would know what I'm talking about. What's that saying about preaching to the choir?

Thank you all for your kind messages of support. We will all miss Bernadette very much.

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They've scared us all, you know. I doubt it was their original strategy, but it is now. When you see advertising for cleaners that promise to kill bacteria that harm our families; when you hear that some people throw out perfectly good food because it happened to be out of the fridge for a few hours; when skilful homemakers doubt their capabilities so much they don't think they can handle soap making, well I just shake my head and wonder why. When new products came onto the market back in the 1950s, I believe there was a genuine belief many of the products would make life easier. Of course there is the ever present profit motive too but now a new element has been added to the equation, dependence. Producers want us to be dependent on their products and they use fear to influence us.

We have grown to be a bunch of sooky la las. Instead of learning basic skills as children and teens, we are sitting in front of computers playing games, we are opening packets of chips and biscuits for snacks instead of biting into fruit or making a cake or a sandwich; we are bypassing that period in life when we were taught to knit, sew, mend, garden, collect eggs and honey and change a tyre on a bike or car. Instead of buying ingredients at the supermarkets, we're buying premade, tinned and frozen meals and prewashed salads to serve on the side. Instead of learning how to build a fine and healthy life we are watching others do it on TV, movie and computers screens and tend to believe it's out of our reach.

So what's wrong with all that convenience? It's robbed us of our knowledge and skills. We don't know how to cook for ourselves. We don't see the need to garden when we can buy what looks like fresh fruit and vegetables at the shops. We prefer our meat pre-sliced and unrecognisable on a plastic tray so we don't know our cuts of meat and we forget that for every bite of tender steak or pork, an animal has died. We stop canning/preserving our excess food because we're scared of that word botulism. We clean everything in our homes with chemicals that give us an environment SO clean, our babies are failing to develop resistance to everyday bugs. In a nutshell, my friends, we've set ourselves apart from the natural world and we've traded our independence for convenience.

I think we lost out on that trade.

Since I regained my independence and reskilled myself, I now know that if you can trust your food suppliers to give you wholesome food then it is okay to leave milk, cheese or meat out of the fridge for a while. There are no bugs lurking, just waiting to attack anything that steps out of the fridge. Food spoilage will happen if you're sold old produce, or produce that has been contaminated in the food chain. I have read of meat contaminated with ecoli in America, here in Australia, and I imagine in many other countries, there is a problem with contaminated fruit and vegetables from China. That is a problem with government regulations and testing and should be brought to the attention of your local member of parliament or senator. It is only when they get a lot of complaints from the people who vote for them, that they will stand up and demand action be taken. Never underestimate the power of a written letter to a parliamentarian or congressman. The thought of losing a vote is a powerful incentive to act on your behalf.

But the other things are there for us to change. I believe the best way to learn is to find someone who is already doing what you want to do and ask them to teach you. I am sure you'll be surprised at how generous and friendly older people are when asked about a skill. Most of them have grown up seeing mothers and fathers teach their children with the expectation that those same skills will be passed on again later. If you have no one close by to ask, we all have computers, we can do our research about various products and ways of tending to our housework. Books and blogs are also an excellent way of learning various skills.

And don't forget to think! You can work things out, even if you've learnt that you shouldn't - that you should rely on others to do the thinking. Gathering the skills of life will teach you that self reliance is a fine way to live. We're not talking about rocket science here - this is the everyday work of women and men that has been part of our lives forever. Don't let it slip away from you and your children. Learning, and then teaching, will open up a rich life that will allow you to live well even if the system starts to crumble around you. Understanding the natural world - including the bacteria and fungus that surround us, will show you that not everything has to be killed in order for us to live.

You don't have to live as Hanno and I do or learn every skill but you should learn about what you do. If the only part of a simple life that you have the time or inclination for is cooking, then learn every aspect of it, and pass that skill on. If you want to add a new skill, learn about it thoroughly, so that you don't just know it, you understand it as well. For instance, baking bread isn't just about the ingredients and method, it's also about understanding the chemical processes of baking so that you can fix problems that occur.

Even though we now have all manner of products that promise to give us a better life, I don't think we can look after ourselves as well as we used to. When things go wrong, we're stumped. We don't know what to do. We believe stupid claims made by advertisers. Somewhere along the way we lost that burning desire to do for ourselves. I hope I've rekindled the spark of that desire again within you. Regaining independence is not difficult. It is there for the taking but it is not purchased or available to the faint-hearted. Be bold, step up and take back what is yours, you'll be better for it, and self reliance will be your fine reward.