When I took a break from my blog I spent a short amount of time online but I didn't do much communicating; it was just a way of filling in time. I hope I'm never in that situation again. Staring at a screen isn't a healthy way to live. I'm happy to tell you that it was productivity and housework that got me back on track and brought me closer to an understanding so familiar to me - that doing, creating, moving, organising and planning are just as important as breathing.

 

Gracie and I have a good routine worked out. She went through a period of searching for Hanno but I think she's given up on that. Now she doesn't like being alone. She loves being outside and I held the door open for her many mornings but she won't step out unless I’m with her. So she patiently waits for me to have my breakfast and after I put my plate in the sink, I make another cup of tea and we both go on to the front verandah and greet the morning sun. She inspects the entire verandah, drinks out of every water container, looks for lizards and March flies, stands at the gate and looks up the street, checks the boundary fence and finally settles down to closely monitor the neighbourhood from her surveillance position on the verandah. She won't let any black and white bird land in the yard now but ignores those feathered fiends, the native minors. Grrrr. They have been feasting on the capsicums I'm growing in the container garden near the bins. 

 

When Hanno died I spent a lot of time working out what I'd do. There were a lot of options but there was only one thing I knew for sure - I wanted to stay here in my home. But that provided problems too, mainly that I couldn't do the work Hanno used to do maintaining the house and mowing the lawn. I had to apply to the government for a Home Care Plan. I got one which started in December. For those of you unfamiliar with Home Care Plans - in Australia, our governments have a bipartisan policy to support older Australians who want to continue living in their own homes, even well into older age. There are four levels - level one is for basic care needs: $9,179 a year, level two is for low care needs at $16,147 a year, this is what I have; level three is for intermediate needs care $34,500, level four is for high level care at $54,000. There are strict rules for what the money can be used for. Once approved, the monthly funds are sent to an approved community care facility of your choice and they administer the funds on your behalf. They also provide records to the government to prove you spent the funds according to the rules. So I will never see the money, will never have to pay the bills to have the lawns mowed or the roof fixed and never have to provide documentation regarding the use of the money. So it's a win/win for me and so far it's working well. 

 

I believed we should all make the most of what we've got. If you haven't got what your family or friends have and you envy them, it's wasted time and emotion; you can't change it, you can only change yourself. Look at what you DO have and then make plans to make a beautiful life built around what you've already got right in front of you.

You probably know that Hanno and I have been gardeners for a long time, probably about 40 years. We started off small and taught ourselves by reading books and observing what happened in our various gardens. I also asked neighbour-gardeners what they were planting and how to do things that pushed the envelope a bit, like growing fruit, nuts, potatoes and garlic. It's all pretty easy after the first harvests have been gathered but it always take time, effort and persistence. I've loved all my gardens. It was a way of being outside in the fresh air surrounded by nature, birds and wildlife. The vegetables and flowers were a wonderful bonus!