down to earth

We had lunch with Kerry, Sunny and Jamie last Friday when we invited them to join us at a German restaurant up in the mountains. It was really cold, with a cruel wind, but in that restaurant, perched on the mountainside looking out over the range below and the Pacific Ocean beyond, we had a fire blazing, hot food and good company. It was a delightful lunch and a good way to celebrate Kerry's birthday. He'll be back at work for his birthday next weekend, so we got in early.

There was a time when we always had two Airedales in the back yard. Now I only have this one little one, a gift Hanno bought me when we lived in Germany. He's a Steiff Airedale.

Our weekend here was a pleasant mix of work and relaxation. I have been knitting a mitten for Hanno's damaged right hand. He nearly cut that hand off with a chainsaw a couple of years ago, and although he has almost the full use of the hand, the circulation is quite poor and his hand is always cold. This mitten, knitted in double strand baby alpaca should keep it warm on even the coldest days. I've also made a little rice bag to slip into the mitten.

Wool scarf knitting from a couple of weeks ago. This is New Zealand pure wool and organic red fine wool.

My weekend cooking was really quick and easy. I made a five minute loaf on Saturday to have with the vegetable soup I made. That bread is so delicious and it takes next to no time at all to make. If you're new to baking, I'll go over the recipe later in the week and hopefully encourage the young readers out there to put on their aprons and bake some bread. Baking is one of those simple life skills we all should have.

Hanno didn't share the soup because he cooked his German speciality grünkohl und schweinefleisch - kale and pork (above). No doubt there are many different ways to make this recipe. Hanno does it the way his mother taught him, which was probably what she was taught by her mother. It's a mix of smoked pork sausage, pork knuckle and bacon, cooked with onions, kale and potatoes and thickened slightly with oats. He makes a big pot at least once a year, in winter, and it takes him about four or five days to work his way through it. He tells me it gets better every day. :- )

My soap from yesterday, just about to be poured into moulds.

Sunday morning had me back in the kitchen again, this time making a batch of soap. I changed my recipe, slightly, this time. That's big for me. I'm a plain and simple woman and usually when I find something I like, that's it, it's mine forever; I see no need for change. But both Hanno and I have sensitive skin which seems to be worsening as we age. We need our daily soap to be wholesome nourishing soap, containing only natural ingredients. The bulk of my recipe is Australian extra virgin olive oil, with a smaller amount of olive oil infused with calendula petals, and organic coconut oil. I have to leave it to cure for a few weeks but I think I'm on to a winner. It looks and feels very creamy. I'll go through the recipe with you next week.

It's satisfying and comforting working in my kitchen, producing what I need for my family and myself. There seems to be a view that women who work at home have no power and their work is monotonous. I think the opposite is true. There is true power in taking control of a household and running it to suit the exact needs of the people who live there. The work we do here helps us live an unorthodox life that is enriching because it's so changeable, seasonal and creative. I doubt you get that in most jobs. Most paid occupations are a set group of skills that must be performed to a set standard over and over again. I was thinking about that while I worked on my various tasks on the weekend. Tomorrow I'll be writing about the powerhouse we can all create in our own homes but in the meantime, what did you do on the weekend?

The rate of food wastage in many Western countries, including Australia, is shameful. The current estimation is that about 30 percent of the food we buy is wasted. That is just plain crazy. If you can organise yourself to not waste any food, you'll have money to pay off debt, to save or use to buy something you need. I think the main problem is a general lack of skills when it comes to selecting fresh food in the shops and then storing it correctly at home. Luckily these are skills anyone can learn.

If food spoils before you've had a chance to eat it then it might be wise to rethink your food buying and storage strategy. If food is stored in the fridge and sits there until it looks unusable or the use by date tell you it's not safe to eat it, then you're probably buying too much food, or at least the wrong kind of food.

Either way, you have to get rid of spoiled food. It either goes in the bin for transport to land fill or to the compost heap if you've got one set up. Maybe some of it can be given to the chickens but never give them food with mould or fungus on it. Often the compost heap is the only option. You don't need to have a working vegetable garden to have a compost heap. Composting your food waste is far better than sending it to land fill. Taking care of your own perishable rubbish, makes you more self-reliant and independent. Even if that compost heap sits there and the compost is never used, if it just decomposes and enriches the soil beneath it, it's a far better option than sending your food waste to the tip.

Our compost heap is a very simple affair - just lawn clipping, green leaves, fruit and potato peels, paper and old straw from the chicken pen etc, thrown together in a pile and kept moist. Over the weeks and months it will decompose.

To set up a compost heap, find a space on garden soil away from the house so you don't have to look at it all the time. If you have three sides holding the food waste in, that's ideal, but it can be done without it. Just add your food scraps as you have them, add pieces of cardboard, shredded or ripped paper, old envelopes, contents of the vacuum cleaner, old pieces of cotton, wool and linen, cuttings from the garden and lawn clippings. You can add anything that has once been alive but do not add dairy products or meat/fish of any kind. That will attract rats and mice. When you've added the food waste, try to cover the heap with a layer of lawn clippings or cardboard. That will stop any smells and will keep the heap safe from visiting birds. When it's dry, hose the heap. It should be kept moist but not wet. If you do that, you'll be able to compost your own food and some household waste and save it from going to landfill. A worm farm will do a similar thing but it will use much less waste.

Even though you add to the compost heap all the time, it should be decomposing and therefore shrinking in size. But if the heap does grow a little and you're making good compost, get a spade and throw it around on your lawn or ornamentals plants to use it up.

The other great strategy to reduce food waste is to plan your menus every week. If you're only buying what you need for that week's meals, you'll have less waste (and more money). There are many posts at the forum about menu planning. If you don't know what to do, read some of the posts, or ask someone to help.

Many people recommend growing your own fruit and vegetables but make sure that is a viable option before you start. If you're starting from scratch and have to buy soil or enrich virgin soil, build or buy raised beds, fertiliser, seeds and seedlings, sometimes it doesn't make financial sense. If you want to start raising vegetables, start small - with easy vegetables such as lettuce, carrots and beans and build up your crops and skills each year. And don't just learn about planting and varieties, learn about harvesting, storing and preserving food as well. You'll do yourself no good if you grow a great crop of all the vegetables you want to eat but then waste a lot of them because you don't know how to store or preserve them.

If you can't use all your lemons, juice them and freeze the juice. I make lemon cordial during the summer months with our frozen lemon juice.

You need to be proactive when you produce food at home. If you're growing lemons, collect recipes for lemon dishes so you can use the lemons when you have an abundance, and you will have. If you don't want to use all of them, find someone to barter with. Almost everyone wants lemons, you won't have any trouble swapping them for something you want. The same goes for everything you're growing. Know what you'll do with it when you have a small amount or a large amount. Learn the skill before you need to use it. It is this kind of thinking that allows some homemakers and gardeners to get ahead while others struggle.

Learn how to make leftovers into something delicious on the second or third day. You'll save yourself the cost of making another meal from scratch, you'll save the electricity it would take to cook it and the time it takes to cook from scratch. Above all else though, you'll be building up your skills and fully utilising the food you have on hand. That skill might make or break you one day.

Find some good recipes for using leftovers, then use them.

Recipes for leftovers 1
Recipes for leftovers 2
Recipes for leftovers 3

Other tips include:

Clean out your crisper bins in the fridge before you shop. Use the vegetables and fruit that are still in there before you buy a new batch. Vegetables can be used to make a soup or casserole and that will be one less meal you have to shop for.
Have a plan for leftovers. Stretching a meal from one to two or three days is a skill we can all develop.
If produce needs to be stored in a certain way, do it.
Don't store potatoes or onions in plastic bags, they'll rot.
Wrap celery in aluminium foil - it will keep well for six weeks, still crisp.
Most vegetables store better in sealed plastic bags rather than just being open in the crisper.
Don't overstock your stockpile.
Buy only what you know you'll eat.

I wonder how you manage food in your home. Do you have any clever tips and hints to add to this list? I'd love to hear them.

This winter has been the coldest winter in a long time in many parts of Australia. Where I live, we usually have a sprinkling of days in July and August when the night time temperature falls to about three or four degrees. This year we've had much more than that, and colder. Right now we're at the end of a two week run of cold nights and winds that go right through you. Australian houses where I live are set up for the heat rather than the cold. We don't have an open fire or a heater as such; we have reverse cycle air conditioning but I don't like using it. Hanno and I disagree on the safety of wood burning stoves. I would like to have one for winter warmth, he thinks they're polluting and unhealthy.

So in times such as these, when winter winds make us all rug up, I turn to my kitchen for warmth. I make casseroles, soups, roasts and other slow cooking meals that give the impression of warmth when it's cooking, then fulfils the promise when we eat it. So far, it's kept me going.

The one dish I keep returning to on very cold days is beef casserole. It's easy to prepare, nutritious, hearty and when I cook it in the slow cooker, it takes only about 20 minutes to prepare. If you're working outside the home on these cold winter days, there would be nothing better than this dish to welcome you back home at night. If you could prepare this meal on a Sunday afternoon, and make a double portion, you'd have two excellent winter warmer meals for two of your work days during the week.

I know there are quite a few readers who don't cook much. I had an email from a young man last week who told me that it's been two years since he left home and he's only cooked three meals. I want you all to try this so I'm giving basic instructions for all the new cooks. Following this recipe will give you a superb meal that can be the basis of your expanding recipe file. Here's is the step-by-step guide on how to do it.

This ingredients list is based on a family of four to eight, depending on ages. Please adjust to your own circumstances but remember, even if it's just one or two in your family, this will sit very well in the fridge for two days or it can be frozen in portions and eaten later.

You'll need:

about 1kg/2.2lbs gravy beef, shin beef or blade steak - cut in 5 cm/2 inch squares. Meat cooked slowly will shrink and having the meat in bigger portions helps it stay moist.
2 medium onions, peeled and cut into quarters
2 large carrots, peeled and cut into 5cm/2 inch pieces
2 sticks of celery, cut into 5cm/2 inch pieces
2 cloves garlic, peeled and crushed
salt and pepper to taste
2 tablespoons plain/all purpose flour
two tablespoons paprika - you could substitute chilli, curry power or curry paste
½ cup chopped parsley

Optional extras: if you have vegetables in the fridge that have to be eaten, this is the ideal dish to add them to. Any of these would be ideal - capsicum/pepper, zucchini, turnips, parsnips, a small amount of cabbage, cauliflower, kale, silverbeet/chard, Brussel sprouts, sweet potato, potatoes.

On Sunday afternoon, or in the morning before you go to work:

Cut the meat into large squares.
Place plain flour, salt, pepper, paprika (or chilli/curry) into a bowl and mix.
Coat the meat in the seasoned flour.
Put a large frying pan on the stove and add two tablespoons of cooking oil. I use virgin olive oil. When the oil is hot, but not smoking, add half the meat and brown it on all sides. Remove the meat and repeat with the other half. Remove the meat. Remember, you're just browning the outside of the meat at this point. You're not cooking it. Browning the meat will give the casserole a deep, rich flavour, so don't skip this step.

Into the same pan, add all the vegetables and brown them for about five minutes.
If there is any seasoned flour left over, add it and mix it in.
Add the meat back to the pan with the vegetables. At this point, it should look like the photo above.

Pour over enough water to just cover the meat. Not too much water, just enough to cover.
Stir the meat until the sauce starts to thicken.
When the sauce is thick, pour the casserole into your slow cooker, add the parsley and put the lid on. Remember, nothing is cooked at this stage. You've just developed the flavours and caramelised your ingredients. They will cook in the slow cooker.

If you're doing this on Sunday, place the inner part of the slow cooker in the fridge at this point. Tomorrow morning as soon as you get up, take it out of the fridge and sit it on the bench for a while so it's not going on the heat straight from the fridge. Take no notice of this step if you're cooking it straight away.
When you're ready to cook the casserole, turn the slow cooker onto the low setting if you're going to leave it all day, or high if you want to eat the meal in about four hours.
Place the lid on. Make sure there is nothing touching the slow cooker - no tea towel or plastic cups etc.

This must cook for at least four hours but can be left all day or overnight on a low setting if you prefer. Depending on what vegetables you've included, you won't have to add anything else. But if you want to bulk this meal out a bit for the men and boys in the family you could serve it with rice, buttered noodles, dumplings, mashed potato or crusty bread. The beauty of this dish is that when you walk into your home after a hard day's work, you'll smell this cooking and you'll know you have a hearty meal ready to serve when you're ready to eat it. Ask everyone to put away their coats and bags, wash their hands, and get the children to set the table while you're mashing the potatoes and pouring the drinks.

Any leftover casserole can be placed in a covered bowl for eating tomorrow or in a freezer bag or container for eating at another time. I hope you enjoy it. Next week, I'll share an equally delicious chicken meal that can be cooked while you're out at work or busy at home with other things.

I had an email from a young woman the other day who told me she had suffered significant abuse when she was growing up and had severed all ties with her family. She said she was doing well now, had embraced simple life, had a good job, had recently married and was looking forward to the birth of her first baby next month. Being a soon-to-be first time mother made her wonder about family traditions and what she should be passing on to her children. Having the history she has, she doesn't want to carry on any of her family traditions but wants a thread of family history to run through her new family. What could she do?

I told her she should start her own traditions.

When you think about it, every tradition, whether very grand or the small family traditions most of us enjoy, starts because one person decided it was important enough to continue and connect families over the years. We can all be that person, we can all start our own family traditions.

The easy and obvious ones are attached to the holidays - Christmas, Hanukkah, Chinese New Year etc. Often these involve large family gatherings and food, specific to that time of year. In my home, we've embraced some aspects of traditional religious holidays and mixed them with things that we wanted to include. We observe some traditions from Hanno's culture and some from mine. It doesn't have to be the same for all families. It just has to be right for yours. So with these traditions, think about what the tradition is, then modify it to suit you and your family. After that, you just have to do it.

You could easily start small family traditions such as dad reading to the children before bed. My father used to do that and I read to my sons. Go camping at Easter time or at the same time during the year when you always have a few days off. Enter food in the local show/fair using some of grandma's old recipes and see if you can improve every year. Get the kids involved too. Start some food traditions. Not just in what you eat but in preparing the food as well. Start a family preserving day where you invite all the willing members of your family to bring over a box of tomatoes or fruit and then cook and bottle sauce or jam for later in the year. Those traditions can become much loved family events where family stories and history are passed on.

A very worthwhile tradition is everyone gathering at the kitchen table to eat the main meal of the day. It is there we can really connect with our children and share what's happening today and next week. Make sure there are no phones at the table and if yours rings, don't answer it. If you're trying to teach your teens that their phone isn't as important as the family meal time, you have to reinforce that by ignoring your phone while you're seated at the table.

We all benefit from traditions. Whether it's because they give us a feeling of belonging to a particular family or because they create a bond between everyone that nothing will break. Traditions can help make us stronger and feel safe and secure, not only in ourselves but as a family group as well.

So to that young woman, I encourage you to look at what you do throughout the year and mark the important days with your own traditions. I can't think of a better time to do it than when a new baby is born into the family - it's a new life in so many ways.

What are your family traditions? Did you start any new traditions of your own?

I'm very happy to tell you that Kerry and Sunny are engaged. Kerry bought the ring before he went over to Korea in March and proposed to Sunny while he was there. We couldn't tell anyone until all members of both sides of the family knew about it. We're not sure when the wedding will be but I'm sure when they've had a chance to discuss it, we'll have a wonderful day to look forward to. Hanno and I couldn't be happier to see both our sons married to strong, hard working, beautiful women.

It is the custom in Korea to have engagement photos taken in formal dress, similar to our wedding photos. These photos were taken in Korea. More photos are taken at the wedding and those photos are of the couple and their families.

When your own children get married it gets harder and easier. Many people told me that babies were difficult, that two year olds were the worst, that five year olds would make me rip my hair out, that teenagers were unbearable. But I found that while it was not always a bed of roses, that each year was better than the one before it and with every passing year I loved my sons more. They may not be perfect but in my eyes they're very close to it. So that's the easy part. I think it's harder because you have to establish relationships with girlfriends, then wives, and that isn't always easy. I have grown so close to Sarndra and Sunny now, I love them as my daughters and have dispensed with the "in-law". I am a very proud mother and grandma and I'm very thankful to have the family I have.

Kerry and Jamie in Korea in March.

Kerry, Sunny and Jamie are still living near us and we look after Jamie when we're needed. Sunny has settled in again since they returned from Korea a couple of weeks ago and while her mother hasn't fully recovered yet, Sunny talks to her and her sisters on the phone frequently. She is looking for a job now so they can both work towards building up their savings again.

Kerry visited Shane and Sarndra while Sunny was in Korea.

Shane, Sarndra and Alex are living further up the coast at Gladstone. It's about a five hour drive from here. They're got a lovely home in a good suburb and they're working hard towards their future. Shane is undergoing training on his job, Sarndra works part-time in a fabric and craft shop and Alex goes to day care on those days. It's a wonderful little day care centre. The woman who looks after Alex takes the children on outings and organises very creative activities for them. She also has a private Facebook page where she posts videos and photos every day so all the families can see what their children are doing every day.

Shane, Sarndra and Alex at the town of 1770.

Here is Alex about to have a snack. : - )

It's Alex's birthday this week. He will be three years old. It looks like we might all drive up to celebrate, not on his birthday but soon after. I think spending time together will be good for both Alex and Jamie. They see photos and can recognise each other so having that face-to-face contact will help build their relationship. And it will be heart-warming for me to see us all together again as a family. I am fully aware that families who love and support each other don't just happen by chance. There is a lot of time and effort that goes into relationship building but we're all prepared to do what it takes to make our family what we want it to be.

I hope you've enjoyed this family post. I get a lot of emails asking me about my family so I'm pleased to share this brief update. Thanks to Sarndra and Sunny too for allowing me to use their photos.

We had a quiet and relaxed weekend which included lunch with Sunny and Jamie on Saturday. The weather was cool so it was a good time for roast pork shoulder with fresh red cabbage, Dutch Cream potatoes, peas and gravy. We always welcome Sunny and Jamie with open arms when they visit and love having them here. I love hearing about what they've been doing and while we're talking, Jamie sits with us for a while, then runs off to play, then returns again.

Sitting on the back verandah eating pork crackling, waiting for the potatoes to cook. Someone is looking very smooth in those glasses and hat.

Jamie helped opa with Lucy, our blind chicken. She is an Old English Game hen. He helped feed her, then opa showed him how to hold her gently. When they took Lucy over to the grass, Jamie spent a while in the sunshine talking to her and making sure she was drinking her water.

When we came inside for lunch, there wasn't much to do. I only had to make the gravy and put the meat and vegetables on serving dishes, then everyone helped themselves at he table. As usual, Jamie finished his plate and then we all enjoyed cheesecake and coffee, or for one of our guests, strawberry milk.

Opa serves up the gravy while Sunny cuts Jamie's meat and vegetables.

I have very fond memories of my childhood when we had a roast for lunch on Sundays. Often dad cooked so mum could have a day off and even though it was a family lunch, there always seemed something very special about it. Later in the day, for our evening meal, dad would load up a trolley of cold cuts, salad, bread, butter and drinks and then wheel it into the lounge room where mum would be helping us to practise our reading or spelling and in front of our open fire, we'd share this most humble of meals. I hope we're helping Jamie build similar memories that he'll be able to pass on his to his own children. I firmly believe that a loving and secure childhood creates the firm foundation for a good life and being a small part of that, makes me a very happy woman.

The rest of the weekend was a mix of small tasks, knitting, gardening and cooking. It was cold with gusty winds on Sunday so we stayed close to the house and had frequent cups of tea. I always feel grateful for my home in cold weather. It might be a remnant instinct left over from the caveman days when being out in the open in winter might have meant an early death. Whatever the reason, having out family close on a cold winter's day, sharing good food, is one of the seasonal joys for us.

I can hardly wait until tomorrow when I have some very exciting news to share with you. I'll see you then. :- )

I used to hate being defined by my job. If I was anything, I said to myself, I was not a technical writer for the mining industry, I was much more radical and interesting than that. But the truth was that I was indeed that kind of writer and slowly but surely, it made me unhappy. It seems that many of us are defined by our job. What is the first thing many people ask each other, especially men, when they meet for the first time? What do you do? God forbid you should say you're a mother and wife working at home. That's not acceptable, they want to know your commercial value. Mother and wife = zero.

But I'd like to dispute that because even though I don't get paid for the work I do, I save a lot of money by taking charge of my home and home producing much of what we need here. We don't get paid, but the value of the work we do is significant. We might not earn money in the conventional sense now, but we save money and the work we do here in our home, allows us to live this slow and gentle life.

Now I want to be defined by my job. If someone asks what I do, I could say I am a frugal housekeeper, a cook, baker, a preserver of food, seamstress, knitter, gardener, chook wrangler, cleaner, maintenance woman and oh, I write about it too. But that's not the important part. The significance part of this work isn't the writing, it is the housework that us keeps warm, fed, comfortable and alive. That's the significant part of the equation for all of us but only the commercial value is generally acknowledged as being important. pffffft

The simple work of every home is often work that's been done over the centuries that has been modified for our modern times. It's still the same work, it's nothing fancy, we are carrying on the traditions of our great grandmas and grandpas. And I'm proud that I do that. I am surprised and saddened that so many look down at the work we do because it's honest work that gives us a good life. Isn't that what everyone is aiming for? If you've been reading here for a while you'll know I don't care much about what other people think of me. I want my family and friends to love me but if someone I don't know questions what I do with my days and gives me a disapproving look, who cares.

Hettie catching the last rays of sunshine yesterday afternoon.

Some people in my position would describe themselves as a writer or author and although I sometimes do descrbe myself as such to people when I'm out in the community working, I am foremost a wife, mother, mother-in-law and grandmother. And I write about those important roles. I love the terminology of all of it too. I say I'm a grandma and some people are surprised I'm comfortable with the term. I'll take ten helpings of grandma, gardener, cook and knitter over one helping of technical writer or author any day. Because that is what I am now, I have moved from valuing myself as a commercial entity to believing that my true value is in the simple, ethical qualities I bring to my family and the hard work I do in my home. The life I live now is the golden prize that is available to anyone who wants to claim it and do the work, at any stage of life. I doubt you can put a price on that and maybe it can't be defined by a job title.

I've spent the past few days baking, sewing and knitting. They are such simple, old-fashioned tasks and I know my great grandmothers (and yours) would have been doing something very similar over the years, way back when. I like how these older tasks so easily fit into modern times, filling life with interest, meaning and purpose; and replacing acquisition for many of us. You see it more and more now - younger women and men taking up the needles, learning how to bake and cook, and being satisfied and enriched by it. I am so pleased this is happening because it means that these traditionally women's tasks and crafts will go on and can be passed on to younger girls and boys, women and men.

Date scones - a winter favourite here.

As well as that connection I have with older times and the interest and purpose these tasks give me now, baking, sewing and knitting/crochet also help me cut my household costs. Buying bread flour in bulk helps me produce good bread for my family for less than the five or six dollars a loaf from a good bakery. I completely bypass the supermarket sliced bread, and have done for many years, because I don't want the artificial flavourings and preservatives that come with it, or the plastic it's wrapped in. I believe I can make a loaf of equal quality to that from a good bakery and although I haven't costed it for a few years, I guess it would cost me about three dollars for a good loaf baked at home. It's a saving of about five hundred dollars per year based on three loaves a week.

Similar savings can be made if you have a yarn and fabric stash. Making gifts and the soft furnishings you need at home using the fabric from your stash will save you a decent amount each year. Over the weekend I made a lamp shade using fabric I had here. It's much prettier than any I could have bought, I have unusual taste in these things and I doubt I would have been able to buy anything close to what I like, so it's a win-win. I save money and I also get a lamp shade that suits my taste and blends in beautifully with what we already have here. I'm also using resources I have on hand, don't have to go out to buy what I need and the icing on the cake is the satisfaction I feel when I look at that lamp. Not just now but into the future as well.

We will welcome a new baby into our family soon. Tricia's son Danny and his partner Laura are expecting a daughter and as part of a gift for the baby, I've started knitting a little dark pink hat. It's a washable, organic wool and cotton blend, done on straight needles, because I didn't have a suitably sized pair of circular needles on hand. I hope it helps keep the baby warm because she will live in the Blue Mountains where it's very cold. Once again, I had the yarn and needles here, so getting our gift underway hasn't cost anything. I love being able to welcome a baby with home knitting.

It's a worthwhile exercise to collect any fabrics or yarn anyone offers you over the years. You might also find inexpensive fabric and yarns at your local second-hand shops. Even if you have no projects in mind, building a stash will help you when you do need something. Having the materials on hand helps you cut your costs, it inspires creativity, it gives that all important feeling of self-reliance and if, like me, you believe that homemade comes from the heart, your gifts will be a fine indication of your feelings towards the person you give your gift to.

I think of my stash as another form of stockpiling. It saves time and money and allows me to have my own materials on hand when I need them. Are you using your stash for your projects too or are you trying to build up a stash?

I received an email from a young woman the other day who told me that she's so conflicted about a choice she has to make that she's deliberately not thinking about it and she'll probably end up just flipping a coin to decide. She said by doing that she'll be getting what is meant to be. Phttttt! I don't believe in fate or coincidence. I believe we make our own luck and good fortune by working for what we want. Usually the decisions we have to make are those involving your work, family, friends and home so you should do as much thinking about those decisions as you can. The choices you make, whether they be good choices or bad, will impact you when you make them, and like a ripple on a pond, long into the future too. Flipping a coin to make a decision is like saying you're not worth the effort. Everything you do matters.

Flipping a coin and deliberately not thinking about important issues is side stepping the opportunity you have to make your own decisions. I encourage all of you to plan ahead and live according to your values. Own your life! This isn't a dress rehearsal. You don't want to realise that too late. Plan your life as best you can, but be flexible when you have to be. Planning ahead will give you the best chance of success because you can actively work towards what you want. Non-planning really doesn't take the decision making out of your hands, there will still be an outcome. You're making the choice to not make a decision and then you have to take what comes of that.

When I look back and think of all the people I've met, the work I've done, the places I've seen, the time spent on such a wide variety of things, the countless hours I've spent raising babies and children and teens, the years I've spent working, I can see clearly that my path to here was never straight. It was one with curves, highs and lows, periods of intense happiness but also periods so dark I could barely see what was ahead. Some of my choices were not given enough thought and some just plain wrong, but all those past choices helped make me the person I am now. Sometimes I look back I wonder where all that energy came from, and where it went. I've tried many things, left most of them behind, and am here now with my basket full of what is important to me. I am happy and self-confident and I have the most wonderful family.

So to that young woman who wrote, and to all of you, I encourage you to think about what you want, work hard for it, plan your days and make the most of the intelligence, skill and talents you have. Stay close to your family and friends. I'm not saying this is easy, in fact, I know its not, but since when was the easy option the smart one? No matter what, when you think enough about the issue you're dealing with and then make the decision you need to make, own it, and then put in the effort to make it work.

Are you a decision maker or are you inclined to flip a coin?