Getting others on board

I want to thank everyone who commented yesterday on the washing powder post. Sharing our our experiences gives us all more knowledge and ways to tackle problems. So thank you for being involved in this community as well as for your information and knowledge.

This post is an answer to another question posed last week. This one is from JoAnna who wrote: I know you've mentioned this before, but I sure would like ideas/help/encouragement for getting others on board. It's like society has certain expectations and it really makes it hard to explain to others (especially my children) that it doesn't have to be "normal" to be in debt up to your eyeballs and anxious all the time.

I think it's pretty unusual for both partners to want to change to a simpler life at the same time. Generally one person feels the need to change and then sets off on a mission to convince others in the family. I know you have teenage girls JoAnna, they will be very difficult to get on board.

This is my post on Convincing your Partner, it's about how I wanted to change but Hanno didn't, and how we got around that.

You have to start with yourself. With any change you need to lead by example. There is not much hope in convincing someone else to change how they live if they don't see evidence of it working well. I'm guessing you've been convinced towards change by reading blogs and books, see if you can get your husband and daughters to do the same. There are blogs written by men, Gavin's is a good example, and young girls, Mia writes an excellent blog full of her hopes and beautiful photos. Please add links to other simple life blogs written by men and teenagers if you know of any, and share your own story if you've been in this situation.

But the focus of your effort should be on yourself and how you work in your own home. One of the things that convinced Hanno that we should change was seeing how much money I saved by cooking from scratch, growing vegetables, stockpiling and shopping in a different way. You could probably start making your own cleaners, that would cost less and save on the number of harmful chemicals you have in your home. Who can resist hot homebaked bread? Whip up some bread for them, top it with your own jam or a tomato from the garden and enjoy it with some cool homemade lemon cordial. And when you sit down to this lunch of kings, talk about the reasoning behind it.

It won't happen overnight but in small bits - slowly, your actions will show them what the change you have in mind looks like. If you can show that by changing a few things YOU are less stressed, more relaxed, happier AND save money and produce delicious food in the process, that will at least start them thinking that maybe change is not such a bad idea after all.

Remember, teenagers are in a time of their life when one of their main motivations is to conform to what their friends are doing - it's how they prove to themselves that they're "normal" and acceptable. You will have to be strong and not give in to their requests for more pocket money and clothes. Tell them they will have to work for what they want, just like everyone else does.

But if you can change yourself, if you become more relaxed and provide a warm and secure home, if you show how the changes you've made have made you happier and more content, if you save money and start paying off debt, if you stop buying harmful chemicals and explain to your family the benefits of that, if you grow or cook delicious food and save money while doing it, if you stop shopping, if you provide a loving home that is welcoming, if you do more with less, if you focus more on a beautiful life than a life full of "I want", if you are satisfied with what you have and show it everyday in your attitude towards your family and friends, then you will be well on your way to convincing even the hardest heart that changing in small ways will produce a meaningful and satisfying life full of many rewards.

Good luck. : - )