tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post7584470142718688471..comments2024-03-28T15:55:53.792+10:00Comments on down to earth: The value of work - for childrenUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-88332323070147596412012-09-05T11:07:31.920+10:002012-09-05T11:07:31.920+10:00My DH and I have been teaching our GS9 nearly 10,l...My DH and I have been teaching our GS9 nearly 10,life skills for his age group.He does these things very well.<br /><br />He can do some cooking supervised,we've made ice-cream,cookies,chocolates etc.He keeps his toys tidy and makes his bed.<br /><br />He knows to turn lights out if he's not in that room.<br /><br />DH was teaching him mens crafts,screwdrivers etc,he helped put his new bed together using the drill under supervision.<br /><br />He learnt veg gardening,growing wheat in cotton wool etc.<br /><br />Because one of his parents doesnt view these things as learning but child labour,and now the GS doesnt visit anymore and we dont get to teach him anything else.<br /><br />I feel for him as he needs to have life skills and his Dad is in another state.<br />I just hope he grows up remembering what we did teach him.karyn26noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-58483593827932831742012-06-15T11:52:53.884+10:002012-06-15T11:52:53.884+10:00I just wanted to share something that works for ou...I just wanted to share something that works for our young family. My older daughter, Persephone, is two years old. Every night at dinner, we sit together as a family. We each say something we're thankful for that evening (except for Pandora who is only one) and light a candle. At the end of the meal, Sephie does her"helper job", something simple such as putting our plates in the sink. When she is finished, we allow her to blow out the candle, signalling the end of dinner and something she really enjoys. I am trying to combine simple rituals, family togetherness, and productive work in our lives and I think this routine is a good combination of those things in our hkme.Alishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16066169040440080305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-82700620960196931542012-06-15T01:21:42.272+10:002012-06-15T01:21:42.272+10:00I think in our house we've become a bit lax on...I think in our house we've become a bit lax on the technology rules, I've realized that I need to be more conscious of this, and my husband can be downright terrible about it when we go out to dinner, but there are glimmers of hope! When we do sit down to a meal all together, I try to make sure the tv is off, and the phones aren't at the table. And my husband and I had two days to ourselves this past weekend, and for at least one evening and one afternoon, we rarely pulled out our phones to check facebook or twitter, and we even managed a whole restaurant meal without looking at them and had some great conversation instead! I think, on the whole, everyone in the home must be on the same page, and you have to make a concerted effort to all follow the same rules. Otherwise, without consistency, there's no point to making rules at all!Abby Fahmihttp://abbyfahmi.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-72372035734208971762012-06-12T13:25:03.381+10:002012-06-12T13:25:03.381+10:00We are older parents, hubby is 55 and I am 49. Our...We are older parents, hubby is 55 and I am 49. Our 9 year old has a DS, mobile phone, computer, Wii, portable DVD player. We have embraced technology and encourage her to do so to but she has been taught that its a privelage to have those things, not a right. Hence she has to look after them and respect that there is a time and place to use them. <br /><br />The DS comes in handy for long car trips which we do often but once we get there its discarded and she happily plays with the other kids all day. We went camping on the weekend, one of the kids found the DS and wanted to play on it, she removed it from his possession and told him it's not allowed! It was but she isnt there to play on the DS, she is there to run, play and be a kid.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-62938725878032286552012-06-10T23:01:03.171+10:002012-06-10T23:01:03.171+10:00Both of our girls (12 and 14) have their own cell ...Both of our girls (12 and 14) have their own cell phones, but we do have rules that come with that. No cell phones allowed at the dinner table, the phones have to be turned off at a certain time and there are no phones allowed on family outings. They can bring them, but should not use them while we do things together as a family. The girls don't always agree or like our rules (especially since a lot of their friends don't seem to have any restrictions) but we hope they'll realize down the road why we enforced them.Ankehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16891642887957584851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-19170226171974480492012-06-09T09:33:58.574+10:002012-06-09T09:33:58.574+10:00Aaah, but who gets to make the judgement call on t...Aaah, but who gets to make the judgement call on this? Who decides who is "special needs"? Some people look no different to anyone else but there are many things they struggle with. Did you know you can use an iPod, iPhone or iPad to communicate? There is a program the user touches pictures to form their requests, needs, social interaction etc and the device speaks the request. Truly ingenious and lifechanging! I Only ask the question of who makes the judgement call to highlight the fact that really none of us are qualified to judge others.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-33164336710597936782012-06-08T06:26:28.541+10:002012-06-08T06:26:28.541+10:00This is a great post. I have three young children ...This is a great post. I have three young children and when we enjoy the special treat of going out to eat together, we spend our time talking and enjoying our meal. We often (too often!) observe other families all staring at their screens. Sometimes just the children, sometimes the parents. I find it rude and sad, all at the same time.<br /><br />No, you are not being a fuddy-duddy. You are being thoughtful and aware. Most of society is on auto-drive, giving little thought to these things.<br /><br />Thank you for speaking your mind on an important topic.<br />Michellemichellehttp://seekingjoyfulsimplicity.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-47853302936477180072012-06-07T09:05:46.902+10:002012-06-07T09:05:46.902+10:00Really interesting post and comments. I am divided...Really interesting post and comments. I am divided on this issue. On the one hand, I totally agree that children should not be on iPhones and such as the dinner table, and that screen time should well and truly be limited for both the children and their parents. On the other, as one of the more recent commenters said, people in public have a very low tolerance for children behaving like children - wanting to run, to shout songs, to make cubbies out of chairs. I find myself being embarassed a lot of the time when out in public as people tut at my daughter just being a normal three year old. Yes, ideally she would be included in our conversation and sit nicely at the table. Goodness knows we try. But ultimately she is active and outgoing and can't sit still while waiting for the food to arrive and that irks people. <br /><br />Still, I am very aware of our screen time and we do many non-screen related activities at home.<br /><br />Lots to think about.<br />ElizaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-23777312835823000602012-06-06T23:28:34.164+10:002012-06-06T23:28:34.164+10:00Rhonda, I definitely agree with you about the need...Rhonda, I definitely agree with you about the need for people of all ages to value work! My mother taught me to save my ($3 a fortnight) pocket money for "bigger things", and I grew up believing that your work really was your life, so the notion of instant gratification was quite alien to me. Then again, I now work in academic research, so I may be a little biased; that kind of work really cannot be left behind at an office, and there is even a saying that "science isn't a job, it's a lifestyle" =)<br /><br />As for the iPhones, iPads and iEverythingElses, I'm not so much worried about the technology itself as the notions of disposability and obsolescence that seem to go along with it now. I cannot help wondering what else people my age think is disposable and where it will stop. (I am 24 and certainly not a Luddite - if I were, I would be a hypocrite every time I used any piece of our laboratory equipment!!) Though I do think it may be easier now than it was 10 years ago to misuse the communications technology widely available. Too many functions in one gadget equals distraction waiting to happen, for me and my friends anyway - and don't get me started on apps =)I also have serious reservations about online social media, but it would take FAR too long to go into them here.<br /><br />That said, I would never judge another family's use of phones and computers, etc. I can actually remember (and would rather forget) some of the public scenes I created as a bored munchkin, and I must admit an iPad with some interesting games would have saved my mother untold stress. As for the commenters who are caring for special needs children, I cannot begin to imagine how it must feel to be in that situation - thank you all for sharing your stories and giving us more to consider.<br /><br />Hugs and Cookies,<br />AmeliaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-59696997449762988922012-06-06T19:09:29.747+10:002012-06-06T19:09:29.747+10:00I have recently many reasons to bless technology, ...I have recently many reasons to bless technology, ie a far away brother undergoing the very latest in cancer treatment....we can 'skype' etc. But what worrys me greatly is the lack of embodyment that is going on everywhere. Ok perhaps it is we are set to evolve into something else altogether but in the meantime here are all these lives whose physical reality is being hyjacked by cyber-space and electronics etc. Each of us is still dependant on physical reality even if we take it for granted....pull out the plugs, collapse systems and where are we if we don't have a relationship with what breaths us, feeds us, shelters us? Remote control might work for gadgets as long as you can find it and the batteries aren't flat but for life itself? What i love about being is so wrapped up in bodily experience, it would feel the greatest shame to miss this.....<br />With our kids we were lucky in that early exposure was minimized because we lived remotely. I remember wanting to give them beautiful wooden toys and handmade dolls and keep things kind of pure etc but watching our eldest's fascination with crunching plastic, the teddy's label, i met with the dilema of wanting him to know the world not just my version of it..... Our kids are teenagers today and the dilema isn't resolved but now they are old enough for me to discuss it with them and explain why I take a stand often against technology. i feel a great sadness though when i look around at how much imagination and intitive are stolen by the immediate comfort and entertainment of our technological inventions and i truly believe our remote controlled lives play and our absence of 'real' relationship is a major cause to much of the worlds present imbalance.....or perhaps i'm just a creature heading for extinction??!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-41280778361160462562012-06-06T05:47:40.139+10:002012-06-06T05:47:40.139+10:00I too am a full-time carer to my adult son who has...I too am a full-time carer to my adult son who has autism and I give grateful, fervent thanks for technology. <br /><br />To my son, the world of people and social communication is a hard, scary and judgemental place where he is always making mistakes and getting things wrong.... words with their non-literal meanings, facial expressions, voice tone, body language, humour, sarcasm, innuendo, the list goes on and on and on.... what on earth does it all mean????<br /><br />Add onto this, the sensory world where lights are too bright, noises too loud, seats too hard or too soft and still you are expected to listen and respond politely (whatever that is) amongst all this confusing, heightened, input over which you have no control. <br /><br />The heart-breaking outcome of this condition is an isolated young man, with no friends and limited contact with a world he struggles to understand.<br /><br />Technology has been his lifeline - imagine.... devices that allow you to communicate (maybe just using the written word alone) in environments where you are in complete control.... amazing, wondrous. <br /><br />My son has made cyber-friends all over the world - mainly other autistic young men with the same interests ie gaming and technology.<br /><br />To an outsider, he may seem ignorant and rude with his head forever buried in some sort of gadget but we know he is actually happy because he has at last found a way to communicate.<br /><br />Just the other side of the coin, love AnnexxxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-2573514410899467342012-06-06T04:44:19.972+10:002012-06-06T04:44:19.972+10:00It is just a generation ago when the age of techno...It is just a generation ago when the age of technology was taking leaps a a time. We, the adults, made the decision to not buy video game sets, the computer we had did not have kid friendly programs (just business) and cell phones were just getting started (they were that with a job buying one would be their responsibility). When visiting cousins, they would play the games, for a while, then want to go outside. The cousins did not know how to play outside or use imagination in co-operation with others (they were too controlling). They have grown up to be arumentative, controlling, self-centered adults. I have had all compliments regarding my children starting from high school. And hear nothing good about thier cousins.simply livinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15318689844578507680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-71868254585502088302012-06-06T00:56:55.062+10:002012-06-06T00:56:55.062+10:00Great post, myself and my husband talk about techn...Great post, myself and my husband talk about technology and children often and it is a topic that comes up often with friends who have children too. We have 3 kids aged 5, 3 and 17 months. We have no tv. We let them watch a dvd film at the weekend on a laptop. They also listen to a junior radio station which they really like. I feel it is up to the parents to set rules. I have heard mums say that their childs speech is much improved due to tv. I would say talk to them instead!! I think the educational value of Tv is overrated. Our children read, draw and play outside alot. We also have them doing small shores to help with the house, getting drinks for smaller ones, sweeping, cleaning away toys, feeding poultry and collecting eggs. It is so important that they feel connected to the family and part of it. Experiencing life outdoors and nature and the seasons is much better then viewing it on the tv.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-15919938893555089262012-06-06T00:35:29.913+10:002012-06-06T00:35:29.913+10:00Rhonda-I read your blog regularly and you've b...Rhonda-I read your blog regularly and you've been an enormous inspiration in my life. All of your posts are great, but this one really hits the mark, especially with me. I couldn't agree with you more, and it's something that I don't think we, as a society, talk about enough. This is how we are raising our 8 year old son, and I hope that he'll be a better person for understanding the value of family over technology and money.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05652454469991093005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-87213297984310781392012-06-05T23:54:30.902+10:002012-06-05T23:54:30.902+10:00To be perfectly frank, I think most of us would un...To be perfectly frank, I think most of us would understand special needs people being on technology. It is the rest of us who have to watch or learn our manners and realize that it is indeed rude to isolate ourselves and others and act like only our immediate interests are the issue. My partner and I were walking down the main street in town one afternoon and realized that in the small crowd of about seven or eight people, we were the only two NOT on the telephone.hopflowernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-64964739672711175272012-06-05T23:40:41.599+10:002012-06-05T23:40:41.599+10:00Rhonda I applaud your blog today in that it has ra...Rhonda I applaud your blog today in that it has raised a range of responses!!<br /><br />I left an earlier comment (no 18 I think) where I said I disagreed with you on this rare occasion.I didn't think you would allow my comments to be shown on your site, bit I thnak you that you were gracious and did. Perhaps this gave some other bloggers permission to express theirs?<br /><br />Neverless I was both saddenned and pleased to read the comments left by the dear lady with an Autistic son and husband.Life is tough, there's no doubt, and our journeys all differ.<br /><br /> I know only too well that your topic was never meant to have a go at anyone.But to those who struggle with such issues on a daily basis, take heart. I thank you all for your honesty. I guess the technology we all access - computers and blogsites allow each of us to reach another with a kind word, and to touch the worlds of others that are so different to our own!Speaking personally, I know blogsites like Rhonda's help us to connect with each other and to reduce our sense of isolation.I think it's awesome that this lady with an Autistic husband and son can vent her feelings so freely.Her feelings made me come down to earth with a halt and realize that we take so much for granted.At times as parents we do what we have to do to snatch a moments peace.<br /><br />Thankyou Rhonda for facilitating such a range of opinions,and for being brave enough to allow fellow bloggers the opportunity to respond openly and honestly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-42017921173828829472012-06-05T23:15:46.624+10:002012-06-05T23:15:46.624+10:00In our home, we set firm boundaries on technology ...In our home, we set firm boundaries on technology use, but also make sure to use the technology with them. I don't particularly care for video games, but my kids enjoy them and I have found that I learn quite a bit about my children when I try to do something they enjoy. It also makes accepting their boundaries more seamless when we participate too and they adjust to change better. Nor is our time together a complacent ritual, but we actively engage them in questions, family decisions, goals, dreams, creative thought and we encourage them to have some alone time each day, unplugged of course. I remember finding out so much about myself and my thoughts in this way and I can see my kids benefiting from this as well.the 8th childhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01699153370424378139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-76551117929256571732012-06-05T21:44:10.852+10:002012-06-05T21:44:10.852+10:00Ah, Rhonda, you have hit on what is probably THE m...Ah, Rhonda, you have hit on what is probably THE most important thing in my stage of life right now. As a mother to two girls (3 1/2-year-old Shira and 21-month-old Tehilla), I often struggle with finding gentle but firm ways to instill discipline, and raising considerate, kind, generous adults who love to learn, work, and interact with the word surrounding them in a healthy, vibrant way.<br /><br />First off, children learn from example - not only outward, but inward. I need to be what I want them to become - gentle, cheerful, friendly, hardworking and creative. Otherwise, there is no hope I can ever artificially mold them into some ideal I have spun in my head but never lived upon.<br /><br />Second, we strive to live gently, slowly and simply. The crazy pace of our days often doesn't allow parents to get their children to participate in day-to-day life, because they are so bent in doing everything as fast as possible - and little children do slow you down. <br /><br />My children, in particularly Shira, pick up their toys, gather eggs, help out in the kitchen, help sweep the front porch, do simple cleaning tasks (wipe the windows, etc) and hang up small items of laundry. Work is not a punishment - being allowed to participate in the adult life is a treat, an honorable badge of being a big girl and Mommy's helper. I'm not saying they do all the above ideally, but I do try to keep them involved on a consistent basis. <br /><br />I would do all the work more effectively on my own - for now. But I know that some years down the road, I will be very glad for allowing my daughter to hang up her own underwear, taking about five minutes for each item. <br /><br />Interaction with nature, plants and farm animals is important in building up character, too. It teaches responsibility and gentleness in such a wholesome, never-boring way. Seeds need to be watered regularly if you wish to get any results. Animals must be fed first thing in the morning. Chicks must be handled delicately. All of this creates a flow of learning which is only very slightly directed by us, as parents. <br /><br />If we have animals, plants, inexpensive crafts, satisfying kitchen work, stories and nature walks, we don't need many expensive toys and gadgets. My girls very rarely watch videos. When our development nurse suggests to "limit screen time for the baby", I give her a wild look. What screen time?? We are busy living life!Mrs. Anna Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15377583333000789903noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-12161399583378322142012-06-05T21:36:09.486+10:002012-06-05T21:36:09.486+10:00You know what...I am putting my hand up here too a...You know what...I am putting my hand up here too and saying that in my ideal world, there would be no ipods, no smaking, gentle boundaries, guidance and disipline and for the most part, this happens. However I have smacked...on occassion. I have yelled and (gasp)I have even let my children at times play on my phone to keep them entertained in a doctors waiting room or at a cafe, because you know what...that is so much better than having people turn and stare when my young children don't conform to adult expectations. my eldest is a very savvy, computer smart young boy and I actually love that he is this way inclined. In a world that is so much about computer and technology, I am glad that he has these options. Really it is incredible what some of these kids can do with technology. I believe in limits though and I do believe in manners. I allow a limited time and I moniter the content and I don't allow them at the dinner table. I am however a realist and definately not perfect.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-78401072597690263372012-06-05T20:18:24.333+10:002012-06-05T20:18:24.333+10:00This is a very interesting post, Rhonda. I often h...This is a very interesting post, Rhonda. I often have a laugh when I am in a Food Hall at a shopping centre to see many of the young people sitting around a table using their mobile phones. I mean they are already in a group with their friends so why not talk.<br /><br />To 'anonymous'who has the hubby and son with autism, hang in there. The life of a carer is not easy and can lead to isolation because other people just don't understand. Believe me, you are not alone but sometimes knowing that doesn't help either. Be kind to yourself. I understand perfectly how you feel.Nanna Chelnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-10842526542182705712012-06-05T18:23:44.374+10:002012-06-05T18:23:44.374+10:00I thought of you the other day. Thinking of your e...I thought of you the other day. Thinking of your earlier words about your two beautiful sons. When struggling with my six year old, I wondered how you raised your sons, but would dare asking. Thank you so much for sharing this.<br /><br />About the games: a couple of months ago, we had visiters. Two grown up, two kids. They came in our house, the kids took both there Nintendo DS out of there bag and jumped on my couch. My sun looked up to me and I could see the tears in his eyes. Not of having a Nintendo DS, but the fact the children hadn't time to play together. Hurray to technology?<br /><br />Love from HollandAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-65253910314177986542012-06-05T17:44:36.404+10:002012-06-05T17:44:36.404+10:00I agree with teaching children social manners whic...I agree with teaching children social manners which excludes technology at the table etc. Interestingly, it is not surprising that children are being allowed do this when you see how adults are behaving. I was out with 5 women for the day yesterday and two of them spent the entire day looking at their iphones! A conversation would strike up about a cake somebody made and the next thing was they were trying to find pictures of it and facebook pages etc. It became very boring! This type of technology although useful is very addictive and not very healthy for anyone - children or adults - in my opinion.<br />Rachel, IrelandAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-10297801746809003742012-06-05T17:05:58.293+10:002012-06-05T17:05:58.293+10:00Last Christmas, I brought my boyfriend to a big fa...Last Christmas, I brought my boyfriend to a big family Christmas do for the first time. What really struck him was that all of my cousins and my sister spend the whole of dinner, and the whole of the few days, texting their friends. We both found it a little insulting that we had travelled from a different country to be there, and they were more interested in their phones than in talking to us. So we're determined that mealtimes and family times will be phone-free zones - for us as a couple now, and hopefully when we have children later down the line.Nickiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15821748425176220106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-30128888750933348322012-06-05T16:31:39.817+10:002012-06-05T16:31:39.817+10:00Anon, not a problem, love. I just wanted to let yo...Anon, not a problem, love. I just wanted to let you know too, that I'll answer your email tomorrow. I've been at the neighbourhood centre these past two days and I've yet to take the photo you need. Will do in the morning and get back to you then. Take care. xxrhonda jeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08962112306968959985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-64233974465713375962012-06-05T16:07:04.332+10:002012-06-05T16:07:04.332+10:00I hear you on this one, anon. I want to say to peo...I hear you on this one, anon. I want to say to people, yes, in an ideal world this would be nice. Sometimes life is not ideal and you have to go with what you've got. I can't tell you how beneficial technology is with special needs kids. I have seen this with my own son. Something that with the best teachers and understanding family has been so hard to teach has finally become achievable because of my iPhone, his therapists iPad and his laptop. I can't tell you what a bonus it has been. As soon as I can afford it, I will have an iPad for him. He will never be "normal" but with the help of technology he is reaching some goals. <br />In regards to going out as a family, people always stare at us because he is different. I don't take much technology with me but if I thought it would help, I would. I never feel normal because of the way people stare. I would love to go out and be normal for a change. <br />What I am trying to say here is two things, mainly to the commenters who have such strong feelings that people shouldn't take technology with them when they go out: <br />1- please don't knock the technology if you don't understand it- it's more than just silly games. <br />2- if you see someone out with their kids and they have iPads etc don't judge- they might just be wanting to be "normal" for an hour before they head back home to whatever problems and stresses they face. And yes, maybe they are trying to disconnect from their children for a while. Peace comes in many forms. If you have a special needs child sometimes life is so full on that the only way to cope is to disconnect for a bit. Do I feel guilty about that? Of course I do. <br />Anon, keep your chin up. You're doing your best with everything and everyone you care for. If I could help I would. X.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com