tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post604036751239313207..comments2024-03-28T15:55:53.792+10:00Comments on down to earth: Don't confuse what you need with what you wantUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger58125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-1429812629233671032016-07-22T08:40:56.228+10:002016-07-22T08:40:56.228+10:00I agree with your husband, Malinda. And if I were...I agree with your husband, Malinda. And if I were to be invited into your home and found it in the way you describe, I can honestly day I'd value it for the work being carried out in your living room and admire you for using your home to its full potential. Not having the money to renovate is nothing to be ashamed of.<br />If you really don't want your neighbours to see your home, tell them you have done no renovations but you're happy to be a part of the progressive dinner.rhonda jeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08962112306968959985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-16072034612150388022016-07-22T05:30:10.170+10:002016-07-22T05:30:10.170+10:00Several of our neighbors have renovated their enti...Several of our neighbors have renovated their entire houses (beautifully) and suggested that we have a progressive dinner to check out each other's houses. I was embarrassed at the thought. I have lived here 18 years and have only been able to afford to do what was necessary to keep the place going. Our rugs are threadbare and the floor needs refinishing. I work from the living room and it looks like a sweatshop, but it is the reason I can afford to live at all. This would be a case where they really are coming to look at the house. I could just cry. My husband is of the opinion that they get what they ask for. I find it humiliating.Malindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16417125068082873720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-6273866080464181482016-07-20T10:10:35.262+10:002016-07-20T10:10:35.262+10:00What may be a want for me may be a need for you. W...What may be a want for me may be a need for you. We're all different. We all have to decide for ourselves what our needs and wants are and then live with the result of those decisions.rhonda jeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08962112306968959985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-22272146311394172002016-07-20T09:42:58.742+10:002016-07-20T09:42:58.742+10:00I think that taking a good hard look at needs and ...I think that taking a good hard look at needs and wants and figuring out which is which is really important. And best done somewhat often! A lot of times though, what may seem like a want, really is a need. I understand the desire- no, the *need* to live in a place that is aesthetically pleasing. If I didn't like the space I spend the majority of my time, what would be the point?<br /><br />That doesn't mean that I bought a whole bunch of stuff that clutters it up or takes away from the simple aspect of my life just to have an attractive house. A coat of paint in a pleasing and inspiring color, some paintings and weavings on the wall that I or my children created- these I would consider needs, and they are fairly easy things to do to create a space that feels comfortable and happy, but not cluttered or busy.<br /><br />Even though not all of us can afford (or have the ability to) renovate the space however we wish, most of us can add some simple elements. I would never overlook one's need to have a living space that is lovely, welcoming and makes them feel good to be there.Chrissyhttp://www.museofthemorning.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-21430817267708572302016-07-14T09:23:43.999+10:002016-07-14T09:23:43.999+10:00This that you wrote seems so wise: "But it so...This that you wrote seems so wise: "But it sounds like she feels her home is not good enough for her. She wrote asking for decorating advice - it seems that her attitude is fixed and it's easier for her to decorate her way out of this rather than adjust her eye to appreciate what's around her." Changing something to make it more to her liking might make her relax so that she can pay attention to her guests, and not be self- or house-focused. Because isn't that the main thing, when friends or strangers are in your house, that you love them and care for them as persons, which requires a certain amount of forgetting of yourself. <br /><br />I try not to apologize to guests for whatever deficiencies I notice when they stop by, especially things like unswept floors or dirty dishes, because it intimates that they care about those outward things, and we want to assume the best about them, as you all say, that they came to see us and they know what the truly important things are.<br /><br />This is a wonderful post and I love reading everyone's comments, too, which are so full of good sense.<br /><br />GretchenJoannahttp://www.gretchenjoanna.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-76642933587355274972016-07-14T09:11:17.726+10:002016-07-14T09:11:17.726+10:00I would like to stay in your room more than in the...I would like to stay in your room more than in the over-decorated room that I often stay in, which is in a guest cottage, but seems to be filled with all the cute stuff that the owner wants to display, not for comfort but for effect. Every time I want to get in the bed I have to remove <i>twelve</i> mostly decorative pillows. Then where to put them? On the couch? But the couch is for sitting, I thought, not for pillow storage. It all seems so silly to me! I like the phrase "beauty of function."GretchenJoannahttp://www.gretchenjoanna.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-62358322566464295692016-07-12T01:30:42.642+10:002016-07-12T01:30:42.642+10:00We had friends long ago that felt this way about h...We had friends long ago that felt this way about having us into their home which was just silly. Anyone appreciates being asked over to your home no matter where you live or what you have. Sadly, this constant obsession of what we had versus what they had finally ended our friendship. To this day I cannot understand why it was so important.Lanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09380649410508372279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-26729826135884701032016-07-06T09:24:40.051+10:002016-07-06T09:24:40.051+10:00Wonderful post, Rhonda. Thank you>Wonderful post, Rhonda. Thank you>stephenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15616854128602971297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-13978825979300954442016-07-06T05:45:26.975+10:002016-07-06T05:45:26.975+10:00While it's true that there is a big difference...While it's true that there is a big difference between wants and needs and often it's easy to confuse the two it's also true that sometimes filling a want will make a big difference it how a person feels about their situation. There is an old music hall song called A Little of What You Fancy Does You Good and I think there is some truth in that but the hook comes in with the phrase "a little". If you are not a seamstress and see a pillow in a store that will add a pop of color in an otherwise austere room maybe it's not such a big deal if you just throw caution to the wind and buy it! You don't take money that would otherwise be used for food of electricity but a bit of extra cash spent once in awhile for something that enlivens you can be good give a person a jump start on that day or week when a jump start is greatly needed. <br /><br />Having fulfilled a trivial want, this person might then feel encouraged enough to go to the library and take out books on home decorating on a budget or DIY projects for the home and just try one or two and find that they are generally doable and inexpensive and realize that she can make changes that give her a sense of control over her home decoration and a sense of accomplishment which will spur her on to greater things. vichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18428581552807859803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-35976642235411632902016-07-05T23:36:22.382+10:002016-07-05T23:36:22.382+10:00I agree that our attitude towards our homes are th...I agree that our attitude towards our homes are the crucial thing. I was talking with a friend and she told me she had stopped apologizing for the state of her home when people were over. It's easy to feel like whatever you have done to prepare for company is not enough - honestly, even with a meal cooked by a famous chef in a house with a complete renovation and hot air balloon rides in the backyard after dinner, we could probably still find something to apologize for. But why focus on the negative? That friend didn't really care about the dishes in the sink or notice the cats shedding. I have decided to stop apologizing as well. Clearwinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05217248509334038088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-8291509405152979602016-07-05T18:18:06.925+10:002016-07-05T18:18:06.925+10:00I love the U2 song that has a great line in it.......I love the U2 song that has a great line in it....<br /> "what you don't have , you don't need it now, don't need it nowwwww"<br /><br />Live simply so others simply live, less consumption, less waste that our descendants will have to sort out. Live by your values.jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09287494641855278679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-69915740954272653302016-07-05T10:06:25.929+10:002016-07-05T10:06:25.929+10:00Well said Rhonda! I love the vision of steam risi...Well said Rhonda! I love the vision of steam rising from a hot cuppa on the kitchen table.Dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13552235772280918296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-61405503817205012632016-07-05T07:32:34.238+10:002016-07-05T07:32:34.238+10:00I've just come home from visiting my Mum, Rhon...I've just come home from visiting my Mum, Rhonda. She lives on a wide, bush property in the Far North. She lives in a very simple home that some might consider a shed! But, when I open her front door and I step inside, I see the kitchen table that doubles as her kitchen bench where she does all her cooking and where her friends come for a cuppa. I see our photos on the wall and dresser-tops. I see her basket full of cottons and wool for knitting and all around are the gifts her friends have given her over the years. Outside are her beloved plants and chickens. It's her home. In creating it, she didn't refer to catalogues and tv commercials that endlessly push for more, but to her own heart about what is important to her. Meghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11573371198907761962noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-79415378588549599572016-07-05T07:17:41.429+10:002016-07-05T07:17:41.429+10:00May you continue to enjoy many sweet, ordinary mom...May you continue to enjoy many sweet, ordinary moments like these, Pam, for a long, long time to come!Meghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11573371198907761962noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-67940690055676581732016-07-05T06:18:27.170+10:002016-07-05T06:18:27.170+10:00It sounds like most of us have felt this way at th...It sounds like most of us have felt this way at the start of transition to a simple life. Obviously none of us can see what this woman's home looks like to offer suggestions. But then it doesn't matter - like you said it is about really appreciating what you have. I love my home now and I want less stuff - not more. Comparing your home to others and 'keeping up with the Jones' will never allow you to feel content with what you have. Sometimes a simple change in how things are organised can help you appreciate a room/ home a lot more and a paint job makes a huge difference as it makes a room look cleaner. Really enjoyed this post/ comments.Power and the Passionfruithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00354580606274549933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-17661804638559897102016-07-05T05:29:42.023+10:002016-07-05T05:29:42.023+10:00Just could not let this post go by without saying ...Just could not let this post go by without saying how much I agree with every word you wrote. Perhaps, when I was younger, I might have been more concerned about "perfection" but now I am so thankful for our home and hope that everyone who comes here feels the love and warmth in our home. Happy 4th to all your American readers! Blessings to you and Hanno Carolyn in FloridaCarolynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05162705890041183006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-24720796785427100942016-07-05T05:00:21.807+10:002016-07-05T05:00:21.807+10:00I appreciate and understand all of what has been s...I appreciate and understand all of what has been said here, but I'll add my two cents to say that without knowing specifically what this writer thinks is truly deficient, it is hard to offer solutions. Is it that her living room or home is a mish-mash of colors or patterns, a state arrived at by making do without regard to those issues at all? The answer may be paint and throws or slipcovers. Is it too small? Removing clutter will help. Is it furniture arrangement? Ask someone whose home you admire for advice. Some of these may require some money and effort, but not to the extent of buying all new. There is an old movie (Overboard, with Goldie Hawn) about a rich woman with amnesia who winds up in the home of a struggling single father with 3(?) boys, and there's a wonderful scene where he realizes how she has made the place into a warm home, using what is available.Irishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04396327335856768030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-76767212918604034352016-07-05T04:23:03.219+10:002016-07-05T04:23:03.219+10:00I so agree with what you have put into words. Our ...I so agree with what you have put into words. Our world of ads has tried very hard to change that perception. Some less fortunate end up in serious debts just to have things they really could do without.Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16174142810114806410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-61432855904064853932016-07-05T03:39:03.559+10:002016-07-05T03:39:03.559+10:00Blessings to you, Pam, on your road to recovery! A...Blessings to you, Pam, on your road to recovery! As Barbie said it is the small things that really matter!Kristinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08786701630899891688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-23018497695479229392016-07-05T03:12:26.181+10:002016-07-05T03:12:26.181+10:00Lovely blog post Rhonda. I love my home. I think t...Lovely blog post Rhonda. I love my home. I think the kitchen might be my favourite room at the moment. I have a very old kitchen table my friend stored in the garage, with nailed lino on the top, which was going to the tip. I rescued it and cleaned it up. It's beautiful with turned cedar wood legs and a pine top. And that's where I do my prepping and my kitchen work. Like my mother used to. plenty of room to spread out the work - as there is not a lot of bench space.<br /><br />On that table I put my sewing machine - plenty of room for the fabric to spread out.<br />put a board on the table and chop up my veggies. <br />Sort the clean washing.<br />Lay out all the ingredients when I'm baking. Plenty of room for baking sheets.<br />Oh - and I eat there.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-40432339989879424102016-07-05T01:18:35.675+10:002016-07-05T01:18:35.675+10:00I think it comes with age. I remember in my twenti...I think it comes with age. I remember in my twenties I never let people visit unless I knew they were coming so I could clean it from top to bottom. In my thirties I learned how to make bread, cakes and biscuits and my desires in life changed. I wanted to feel like I had accomplished something other than a clean house. Now in my 40s I look around and see my dining table that I have had for 22 years and how it needs a french polish redone, and has needed for probably 15 years. I have my favourite coffee cups from over the years with no hanldles used as pen holders, containers for rulers, toothbrush cups etc I love my home now. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06362872207581480589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-82810588078892043982016-07-05T01:08:23.262+10:002016-07-05T01:08:23.262+10:00A wonderful post. Home is where you, your family ...A wonderful post. Home is where you, your family and your animals are. It's not a showroom to be maintained, but a base to keep you all warm and safe. That we are lucky enough to be able to decorate it to reflect ourselves is good, but it should never be a process that has to be done to please the eyes and minds of those that do not live within it's walls.<br /><br />If visitors come to our houses they are usually coming to see us, not to see what we have and what we have done with it.<br /><br />Lifting your home and your mood is easy ... bring in some nature ... a jam jar or mug full of freshly cut flowers, be they cultivated or wild brings life and beauty to any room.<br /><br />I hope your reader reads your answer to her query carefully and takes time to digest it and the comments that follow it. If she is happy and content in her home and with what it contains anyone that visits will see this and most likely go away thinking that it's their home that is 'wrong' being cluttered with fripperies and be inspired to follow her lead.Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04177854521955532744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-14974748156222730952016-07-04T23:38:10.597+10:002016-07-04T23:38:10.597+10:00Very wise words. I believe your mind is a powerful...Very wise words. I believe your mind is a powerful access to appreciate as well. Your can mess your own life up with the way you think. I realized that when I was reading a book by Joyce Meyers. It's call The Battlefield of the Mind. Your reader may very well get a new perspective by reading it. It changed my life. Thank youTexas Believerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03434635458342748825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-19918099162747727942016-07-04T23:18:23.667+10:002016-07-04T23:18:23.667+10:00Wonderful post and so true. Our home---dubbed the ...Wonderful post and so true. Our home---dubbed the little house in the big woods---is as simple as can be, but guests always enjoy coming here for muffins and tea around the dining room table. Or appetizers and desserts on the patio. Or soup in the winter. Or pizza any time of the year. I think you get the idea ;) Laurie Graveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17595023276463524101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-11130970809591475362016-07-04T21:08:57.553+10:002016-07-04T21:08:57.553+10:00Steam from a hot cup of tea is one of my favourite...Steam from a hot cup of tea is one of my favourite things!<br />kxRapunzels Wild Gardenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04273047547787107088noreply@blogger.com