tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post3853914603396876203..comments2024-03-28T15:55:53.792+10:00Comments on down to earth: Let's talk about the new homemakerUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger62125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-75589342155651328742018-03-28T14:44:48.683+10:002018-03-28T14:44:48.683+10:00Hello. I recently became a full time childfree hou...Hello. I recently became a full time childfree housewife (age 32). Previously i worked full time in management for a large company however my heart has always been to become a homemaker since a very young age. <br />I have been reading alot of blogs on this topic as it is what fascinates me the most at this current time.<br />I must say Rhonda your blog is very delightful to read. <br />Currently i have had no negative comments from friends and family. My mother was thrilled that her daughter is living a life she chooses and my friends are all jealous (good jealous) of my life decision. In fact 3 of my friends actually mentioned they too would love to stay at home and become a homemaker if finances permitted on one income. <br />I must say i am very blessed. My husband is the most loving person and has always said he is prepared to support any decisions i make early when we started dating 8years ago. Lol. He also makes alot of money hence financially we are very well off. <br />I can see how others who do not know me well may see me negatively as i am often covered in diamonds, luxury brands, drive an expensive car and own our home in a good neighborhood.<br />Im not afraid to answer questions about my decision. I just believe i need to be confident and positive in the way i say it. <br />If anyone was to be rude about my life choice im sure i can say something rude back. Ahahahaha. <br />The only downfall of being a stay home wife is that it does get a little lonely as my friends are working and i have yet to make friends who are in the same situation as me. <br />But besides that every other aspect of life relationships/health/happiness/stress have never been better. <br />I hope more blogs like this suface in the future to help newbies like me feel more confident in a perfectly normal lifestyle choice. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-27058380570952877362016-11-01T13:56:34.005+10:002016-11-01T13:56:34.005+10:00This is a lovely post and one I'm glad I found...This is a lovely post and one I'm glad I found. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01466960900902996817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-38212565282097217672013-08-06T00:24:54.442+10:002013-08-06T00:24:54.442+10:00Dear Rhonda
I am from India and a man working at ...Dear Rhonda<br /><br />I am from India and a man working at a busy office. But my desires are to be able to sit at home and attend to family and do what you so lovingly say "Homemaking". This is such an wonderful post and may God bless you.<br /><br />I just stumbled on to your blog when I was searching for "Bread making" and Wow it was good.<br /><br />Great! that is what I could murmur..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-25626893545756872732013-07-25T19:04:06.645+10:002013-07-25T19:04:06.645+10:00People do tend to try and make you feel you are la...People do tend to try and make you feel you are lazy when most of your time is spent at home. A friend of mine is in her 70's and people are always thinking she's lonely and needs a pet - or asking her if she gets bored. My friend says she is busier now than ever before and cannot understand anyone who says they are bored. My friend does volunteer work and is learning to spin wool (along with me) and has one day she relishes because it's the one day she gets to stay home and do nothing! Maybe those who judge have never heard the saying; The difference between a flower and a weed is a judgement!Dayamitranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-75724078436779140092013-07-25T18:42:56.296+10:002013-07-25T18:42:56.296+10:00Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subjec...Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject! like some of the previous commentors I am mid 30's and left an "out of home" job to become FT mum (school aged child) and work 1-2 days a week for my husband's home business. I really struggle with people's perceptions that I dont work, all because my job affords me a lot of flexibility. Carhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17412323070595507627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-28648024119659305002013-07-25T02:34:21.594+10:002013-07-25T02:34:21.594+10:00Thank you Rhonda for your thoughts on homemaking.
...Thank you Rhonda for your thoughts on homemaking.<br />I have read all the comments and had a few things to add to them.<br />I have been a homemaker for 32 years, I received lots of comments about not really working, that made me feel insecure. I realize now that when someone works full time outside the home, they come home and still have to be a homemaker. They think I am doing two jobs and you are only doing one!<br />Most people don't understand the economics of working at home. They feel they HAVE to work if they are not working at a desired career. When I started describing how I saved or "made" more money than they did. They began to see things differently!<br />When I saved a dollar at home it was a whole dollar no taxes come out, I don't spend on extra transportation costs, clothing, meals out, or childcare. And that's even if I did watch TV. <br />Then if I garden, sew, cook at home and make my own cleaners and have the time to find the most economical place to buy groceries, I am saving more than most people's salaries, unless they are in a very high paying position.<br />When my husband and I explained this to a good friends of ours who were lamenting that they could not afford a family,they did the math and one of them stayed home they had four children and bought a house.<br />If you want to stay home you can unless you are the sole wage earner.<br />And the comment about divorce, If you stay at home and pay off the mortgage then the house is half yours! The hubs won't want the chickens, and you can supplement your new smaller home with a part time job, or even working from home. If there are children they get support, at least in the US. You are in a better position than if you have mountains of debt. Of course that's just the money aspect you will need emotional and spiritual support.<br />carol ann perkinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05829447633997627213noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-87739938764764095012013-07-24T22:28:25.484+10:002013-07-24T22:28:25.484+10:00Thank you, thank you, and thank you. It has been o...Thank you, thank you, and thank you. It has been our pleasure. All of us should work together not against each otherAlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06999071176944308896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-60768976399755029152013-07-24T21:56:52.585+10:002013-07-24T21:56:52.585+10:00LOVE this post Rhonda.
I have been criticised for...LOVE this post Rhonda.<br /><br />I have been criticised for not working out in the workforce, but I know which job I would prefer :) I want a happy life, not a money inspired one...<br /><br />xTaniahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10176661940614462611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-81260588143178995902013-07-24T15:56:54.279+10:002013-07-24T15:56:54.279+10:00Rhonda, the thoughts of one of my favorite authors...Rhonda, the thoughts of one of my favorite authors, Wendell Berry, connect well with your thoughts: <br /><br />"...that is because I now live in my subject. My subject is my place in the world, and I live in my place. There is a sense in which I no longer "go to work." If I live in my place, which is my subject, then I am "at" work even when I am not working. It is my work because I cannot escape it..."<br /><br />"...seeing the work that is to be done, who can help wanting to be the one to do it?"<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-15115263016103623422013-07-24T13:17:06.052+10:002013-07-24T13:17:06.052+10:00We made the choice to live on one income year 2 of...We made the choice to live on one income year 2 of marriage. That was 33 years ago and I still manage our home with hubby retiring at the end of the year. To be honest, I never gave a hoot what other people thought. When we had our youngest son, he was born with Down syndrome and needed much care. He's now 17 and doing well .. but we are glad to have gotten along on the one income so I could stay at home and not have to adjust to one income after he was born.Mrs. Machttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06644129213141875138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-45975286230963931102013-07-24T08:33:20.454+10:002013-07-24T08:33:20.454+10:00I'm lucky in that I made the conscious choice ...I'm lucky in that I made the conscious choice to stay at home and so I was able to see what the others were really saying is, they wish they could stay at home too. But inserted they chose stuff over time with their children. Interestingly now that our kids have grown up and left home, they still need to work because they'd re still paying of their homes and more stuff, and I'm still at home doing what I want because we have paid off debt and I'm still happy with less stuff. <br />Go figure.angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06367100990792829157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-41750709616320763892013-07-24T03:49:36.440+10:002013-07-24T03:49:36.440+10:00I don't think that Robtrev said anything worth...I don't think that Robtrev said anything worthy of such harsh criticism. Correct me if I'm wrong, Ronda, but I think it's safe to say that we don't talk to each other like that on this blog. We're all free to share our thoughts, and strive to do so with grace and kindness, even when we disagree.Marie Clairenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-50569243777447253972013-07-24T01:19:00.784+10:002013-07-24T01:19:00.784+10:00Beautiful post rhonda! Thanks for the encouragemen...Beautiful post rhonda! Thanks for the encouragement!:)<br />ChristinaJulianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00476350545165811489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-82166272204167610432013-07-24T01:14:07.956+10:002013-07-24T01:14:07.956+10:00Thank you so much Rhonda for this really encouragi...Thank you so much Rhonda for this really encouraging post. I usually feel pretty alone where I am, since the common view is if you are young, without children, you should have a "real job". It can get a little discouraging, even depressing. People view you as lazy and stupid, even though you work hard, and have to multi-task and be multi-skilled. Thanks again for this post!<br />The Girl in the Pink DressThe Girl in the Pink Dresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00250837836714463827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-48249743578419319052013-07-23T23:17:59.821+10:002013-07-23T23:17:59.821+10:00Thank you, Rhonda, for this encouragement to homem...Thank you, Rhonda, for this encouragement to homemakers. I find I tend to make excuses about why I choose to stay home when someone asks me instead of just stating, "I'm a homemaker." This was a good reminder that what I do is valuable!Terrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15813884721045918546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-81202083612976503102013-07-23T21:22:56.722+10:002013-07-23T21:22:56.722+10:00Thankyou, i often feel terrible. I have people te...Thankyou, i often feel terrible. I have people tell me I'm lazy and that i must enjoy being taken care of by my husband<br />I'm always on my feet doing things around the house. Theres so much to do!!<br /><br />kirstynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-14940252014550598202013-07-23T21:14:17.952+10:002013-07-23T21:14:17.952+10:00Really I Enjoyed reading your posts!
Work from H...Really I Enjoyed reading your posts!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.bigideamastermindlifestyle.com" rel="nofollow">Work from Home</a>Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14040153267663149406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-57683632966891791342013-07-23T20:41:50.949+10:002013-07-23T20:41:50.949+10:00When I left the Army to become a home maker I was ...When I left the Army to become a home maker I was required (as all leaving officers are) to write a letter of explanation to my career advisor - an extraordinary woman, widely regarded as the most professional and competent female officer around, and the mother of three well rounded children with a happy husband. How was I going to explain to her I wanted to leave her loved profession to focus on home and family? I felt like anything I wrote would sound pathetic. <br /><br />But she was entirely understanding of the choice I had made and, to my surprise, she said she wished she had the courage to make the same decision. With ratification from my career idol, and the ongoing support of my husband, I have been lucky enough to be able to continue being a homemaker without further internal questioning of the validity of my role. And if I'm secure in my importance, the negative judgements of others seems quite inconsequential!The Accidental Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12903019781422765851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-9858545565889993312013-07-23T20:09:12.787+10:002013-07-23T20:09:12.787+10:00That's a meaningful post, Rhonda! Actually mos...That's a meaningful post, Rhonda! Actually most of your posts are.<br /><br />As you know, I am a lawyer working with a law firm but I still try to enjoy my time at home by just taking pleasure in rearranging the knick-knacks, making my sweet and milky tea, watering our plants...the little bits that make up a home/homely life.Clothes and Creativityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05314849071622374994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-15857975123459905542013-07-23T20:02:51.271+10:002013-07-23T20:02:51.271+10:00I found that no one bothered me when I was a SAHM ...I found that no one bothered me when I was a SAHM before my daughters went to school, but as soon as my youngest went full time I was bombarded with questions about going back to work...I crumbled and went part-time but hated the job and ended up taking work home as I was doing full time time work in part time hours. My husband told me to give it up and I did...but the questions started again...am I looking for work, what do I do with my time, do you sit and watch TV all day, don't I feel useless? I actually took on four allotment plots over the last 10 years and write a blog too on top of all my homemaking duties.<br /><br />I got invited onto our local radio show a couple of years ago as they were facinated that I cooked from scratch, grew our own veg, made jams preserves etc and I thought this would stop people from asking me questions about going back to work.....did it work?.....no these people didn't listen lol (family included).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-14640282857407634982013-07-23T19:31:49.391+10:002013-07-23T19:31:49.391+10:00I am writing this after writing my last response h...I am writing this after writing my last response here. Basically I think everyone should decide for themselves what is important to them. I know older ladies who feel undervalued because people think they just sit around all day - when they are very active and volunteer much needed services to society! I agree with a comment here; people should just mind their own business! What is of value to one may not be of value to another - each to his own. Live and let live. We should respect that we will all have different ideas of what is of value. Basically WE ALL HAVE VAUE - no matter what our lifestyle choices have been. Dayamitranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-31889884862836668152013-07-23T19:20:33.452+10:002013-07-23T19:20:33.452+10:00Hi Rhonda,
When I was 12 my mother had a stroke. A...Hi Rhonda,<br />When I was 12 my mother had a stroke. At the same time it was discovered she also had a lung disease that eventually took her life. I left school at the age of 15 to care for her. My brother developed a mental illness when I was 21 and I also tried to do for him as well. At age 26 my mother died. By then I discovered that I was too old and unskilled and had no work record to gain decent employment. I have decided now to try for some work in Home Care - after all it is in this area that I worked in for most of my life. Anyhow - to cut a long story short, I cannot say how often I have been made to feel that I am a drain on society! I did Home Care before it was considered a job! I was paid a pension to take care of my mother but that is not considered as working (if only those who feel that way knew what it is like to care for someone who is very disabled or dying!). I see people now making good money and getting the chance to have their own homes while I have struggled financially! For people to tell me I have "never worked" is the height of insult to me! Just because I did my work at home taking care of ill family members does not mean I have never worked! I think some people who are stressed from too much work get jealous of those who make other choices. There are more ways of being of value to your community than just paid employment! Some of the most valuable ways are ways that have not been recognised! It's only been fairly recently that Home Care has been recognised - otherwise I may have been a rich person getting paid a proper wage instead of living on a pittance at something that was not seen as valuable until very recently. Even now I am trying to get some work in the Home Care area - and hope I am seen as "having enough experience" and as having the skills needed and having had some work experience too! <br />Sorry this post is so long but it can be so hard when some areas in society are seen as valuable while other areas are just as valuable but are looked down on and undervalued or not recognised!<br />I stand by my decision to care for members of my family who were ill and dying - even if it is seen as not good enough to be recognised as "work"! Dayamitranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-77172123408655388992013-07-23T19:00:15.492+10:002013-07-23T19:00:15.492+10:00I left a career at the age of 38 to start a new li...I left a career at the age of 38 to start a new life at home - also starting a new home in a new country. I don't have children so it is just me and my OH, who works from home. No-one has said it to my face, but I'm sure there are people who have thought 'but what will you DO?'. My mum has said that she worries I will get bored. Bored? I have so much to learn about growing our own food, keeping chickens (hopefully), producing everything we eat from scratch, keeping to a very tight budget, renovating and maintaining a home without the money to call in professionals etc. Plus learning Portuguese, new crafts, reading, learning about any subject that interests me. Compared to all of that, sitting at the same desk, in the same office for 40 hours a week seems, well, boring!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-83812208830053323492013-07-23T17:35:17.391+10:002013-07-23T17:35:17.391+10:00Rebecca, this is a great point. It's sad that ...Rebecca, this is a great point. It's sad that so many people have a belief system created from business advertising and media (all of which is on the big business payroll). I'm sure most people don't even realize how much they have been brainwashed. It really takes a lot of effort to separate yourself from it and then ignore it and live your life as you choose. That's why we are the radicals of today. However as to cause and effect, I am a middle aged woman and my experience was that first came the deliberate denigration of homemaking and raising children by the women's liberation movement. It took many years before a sizeable proportion of women had been to college, and/or were employed in well paying jobs, and were more likely to be single and the sole decision maker in financial matters, and had discretionary money to spend on themselves and their lifestyle. Only then was there large scale marketing of products and services directed at these women as if only they mattered. I can remember TV ads that basically said to women you are important because you want to take good care of your home, whereas today they say you have better, more important things to do than take care of your home--both types of ads for the same products. You can see their point, what can you sell to people who are creatively engaged in doing more with less and who value self-sufficiency so highly? It's the spillover of marketing strategy and media hype into the everyday mentality that is so objectionable.Barbaranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-55005165770193474792013-07-23T16:42:56.681+10:002013-07-23T16:42:56.681+10:00I feel so inspired by what you've written Rhon...I feel so inspired by what you've written Rhonda. As a full time stay at home Mum, I often feel undervalued in my role by society. At times I feel unambitious, wondering whether I should be aiming for more... but then I think that to be true to myself, I have to embrace my role as a homemaker which is my passion. I don't have any other aims career wise other than being a Mum and homemaker... this is my calling and this is what I am proud to be able to do and love. Thank you for your wise words - Amanda xxAmandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14697932926715802541noreply@blogger.com