Ageing and the art of slowing down

Wandering around our backyard, sitting under the elder tree, watching the birds fly and admiring the vegetables in the straight rigid lines of first planting, it's easy to feel the contentment of living here. I notice the minutiae of life out there, or life as I know it. Out in that backyard I do a lot of thinking about the changes we're going through now; the changes that age brings. Like everyone, Hanno and I are ageing, although the older we get, the faster that seems to happen. I consider us to be lucky because so many people who were born at the same time as us died too soon; cut down in their prime before they knew a full life of human experience - the good and the not so good. One thing is for sure, these changes need careful thought and planning just like all the others we've implemented.

We're classified as young/old and even when we're old/old, we both want to be here, living an independent and engaged life, possibly assisted occasionally by our family, friends and the community. There is so little written about proactive ageing. We have a lot of information about disease in old age, how to manage illness, where to get help, where to socialise. There are also, increasingly, articles such as this one on loneliness and disengaging from community life as we age and as partners and friends die.

We are lucky, we two. We've established ourselves here, we have work to do every day, we have family and friends dropping in and phoning, and because we've voluntarily rejected the glitz and glamour of what modern life has become, we don't worry about money. We're productive, providing for ourselves and sometimes for our family, so our days are full and we enjoy what we do. But it's not one hundred percent comfy-cosy. There are days when we're not feeling the best or have pain, but on those days we look after each other and know it will pass. I can truthfully say that most of the time, life's good.

Over the years we've always adjusted our routines and chores according to our needs and the time we had available. Now we do the same thing but everything takes longer to do now and we've had to make major adjustments to help us along. One of those changes has been our vegetable garden. We took out two garden beds in the past month or so. We still have the wonderful opportunity to grow some of our own food, but we've made it easier for ourselves after many years of sowing and harvesting as much as we could. Another big change is that we're looking after Jamie three days a week now so on those days, we don't plan much except to provide meals, snacks and drinks and to show him, by example, the appeal of living this way.

We also have a handy man who comes in when we need him. He does the roof work and the hard physical chores Hanno used to do. Hanno loved fixing everything that needed fixing, and took pride in knowing he had those skills, but Mark the handyman does the potentially dangerous work for us now, while Hanno still does the garden and lawns and most of the outside work.

There will come a time when you too will start to slow down and scale back on what you do. What you can do will depend on your physical capabilities when you're older, but I think the key to this is to keep doing what you can and stay interested.  I guess my main concern is that one of us will die well before the other and our motivation and some opportunities might fly out the window. I'm not scared of death but I'm aware that it's one of the few things we face totally alone. Sure, you may have someone sitting beside you, but they don't experience it with you, they simply watch. Death is not something either of us expect to visit soon, but the thoughts are there and like every stage of life we go through, we have to be as prepared as we can be. 

Have you changed how you work and live as you age?

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