Life satisfaction and constant contentment

I have been reminded of a beautiful part of simple life that over the past few months I hadn't thought about much. I've been mentoring a young woman who left work two years ago, she gave up a career in law, and settled down, very happily, at home with her partner and young children. I met her when she came to the neighbourhood centre for one of my workshops and have seen her on and off whenever she came in for a chat. Early on I showed her how to make soap and bread, I encouraged her to knit and sew and I challenged her to find as much satisfaction in her home life as she did in her career. Yesterday she came to tell me she is there. She found satisfaction and enrichment and for her, there is no going back.

Our washing up doesn't look much like anyone else's, there are usually a lot of jars and strainers.

I don't understand why working at home is seen as dull compared to working in a job or developing a career. Homemakers stay at home for a variety of reasons that sometimes revolve around children and sometimes don't. They know that by reducing the desire for excess acquisition, by shopping wisely and being productive at home, the cost of living is reduced - and then you can pay off debt faster or you don't have to earn as much. Job satisfaction for stay at home mums, mums running a business at home, traditional and radical homemakers, retirees and young couples who have a less conventional work-life balance - is rarely written about, yet many of us experienced it every day and it keeps us going.

I know that when I spend a day tidying my home, getting tasks done, creating comfortable spaces, knitting, sewing, or getting a casserole or soup ready for the evening meal, nothing beats the feeling of enrichment I get from just being there and doing it. I just know that this is right for me. I feel I'm increasing my self reliance and that on the day when I choose these activities, even if they're repetitive and might have to be done again tomorrow, I am giving a gift to myself and my family just by doing it.

Jamie exploring the garden and having a snack.

Making things we need, like soap, cleaners, bread, jam, sauce and jumpers, quilts and baby clothes make me feel I'm worth something, that what I know is valuable and that I haven't sacrificed my life skills for the sake of convenience. When I do these things, and much more, I know that I can do for myself and my family, that I don't have to rely on buying these goods from a shop, and if I continue to do that, we will not only get by, but thrive. Any work that you find meaningful - either paid or in your own home, done with love and appreciation for the opportunity, settles on your heart and nourishes your soul. My days are filled with days like that and the satisfaction it brings threads its way through my weeks and turns into constant contentment. Of course, not every day is wonderful. There are days when I spill, burn and forget but those days just remind me that nothing is perfect and highlight the good days even more.

Alex watching Chico.

I think the key to finding satisfaction at home and in housework is to dive right into it. Think about what you're trying to accomplish, work out long term and short term goals and then make a plan to carry out your wishes. Work to a routine, take it seriously and know that if you do it well, the rewards will be there for the taking. Think about the skills you have to learn, and learn them. Set yourself challenges - such as "reduce the grocery bill this week by $25" or "make laundry liquid and do a one month trial of it". If you don't know where to start, start with what you need to know first. So if you want to have the family sit down together to a good home cooked meal every night, but you don't know how to cook, teach yourself and get better every week. If you've left work to have a baby, start with preparing homemade baby requirements - teach yourself from books or the web, or ask other modern cloth and natural living mothers - they will share and, I hope, encourage you. None of us is born ready to cook or sew - these are learned skills. You will challenge yourself to learn these things, to keep at it until you become competent, but even the challenge of the tasks will improve you, make you more resilient and tougher.

Sugar snap peas.

There will be things you can't do well or you don't enjoy, accept that and move on. There will be so many other things you will be good at - concentrate on them and when you've worked well on general housework, go back to the difficult things. You might find that your skill level and confidence have risen enough for you to take on your former difficult tasks successfully.

But never give up. Never, ever give up.

You do have to try, put in the time and effort - nothing good comes easily. We all need to work for what we want and instead of thinking that it's all too difficult, start at the beginning and move slowly ahead. That is how I started, it's how most of us do it. Forget instant gratification - nothing worthwhile is instant. Satisfaction builds gradually, along with your skill level and what you'll develop that into is a life worth living. You have it in your power to make your family life wonderful. I love listening to people talk about their childhood in reverent tones. It may not have been easy but those who can say they love their family and have fond memories of home have those memories because someone knew it was important enough to work for. And always in the background there would have been that life satisfaction and constant contentment. It is there waiting for you too, although it is one of the many things not available at any shop or mall. These precious commodities are home-made and hand-produced and available to all of us who put in the work and then slow down enough to appreciate them.

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