On my mind ...

4 February 2011
This is a Friday photo feature that anyone with a blog can join. It opens the door to us sharing our lives through these photos and gives us all a new way to discover each other, and maybe form new friendships. Your photo should show something at home that you're thinking about TODAY. If you're in another country you should join in when you read this, even if it's still Thursday.

To take part, all you have to do is post a photo, write a short caption explaining it, and link it back to here. Please write a new post, don't link to an older one. When your photo is published, come back and add a comment below, with a link to your blog photo. Please visit all the blogs that appeal to you and leave a comment. If you are wondering why no one has commented on your On my mind post, maybe it's because you haven't commented on anyone else's. Slow down, take the time to cruise around and enjoy your cyber visits.

I have a difficult relationship with Facebook, always have had. I set up an account a few years ago to communicate with my sons who were travelling then. When they returned, I didn't go back because I thought their privacy would be jeopardised if I was a regular FBer. Now I have a couple of friends who are there and if I don't see them there, I won't see them.

I put up this Facebook badge on the blog yesterday, then took it down again. I'm still undecided about staying there.

So I need help here. I've never spent enough time there to work out how the privacy works. Can someone explain that to me. If my account is active, does that mean everyone can see everyone I'm friends with. What's the best and safest way to set up my account. I'm thankful for any advice I can get.

Thank you for the emails and concern for Hanno and I in the cyclone. We're both fine and so is our family. We're many kilometres south of the storm. Emergency services went into some towns yesterday and it looks like there are some people missing and complete devastation where the cyclone passed over. We are keeping everyone in our thoughts.

ADDITION: I've given it some thought and I can come up with only one reason to stay on Facebook and many reasons to leave. I deactivated my account. Thanks for the help offered.


  1. Hello! If you log in to Facebook and click on Account and then Privacy Settings you can adjust what folks see. I scroll down and click on Customize Settings and that's where I can control what people see if they visit or if they search for me. I can even control what specific people that I'm friends with see. You can really keep things private if you want. :) I hope that helps!

  2. Hi Rhonda, try going to "Account" then "Privacy Settings". Once in Privacy Settings, click on "View Settings" under "Connecting on Facebook". There will be an option for who can "See your friend list". Select "Friends Only". With this, only people that you choose as friends can see your friend list.

    I'm not sure if you can select which friends can see other friends (your sons) though.

    This week community pride and my husband's efforts to clean up our neighborhood is on my mind.


  3. I should also add that you could have TWO facebook accounts. One for your more private friends and relationships, and a second one associated with the blog. You'd just need to use a different email address to set it up. :)

  4. I had a difficult up-and-down relationship with facebook myself, and then I finally ended my account altogether. For how much time I used to spend on it, it's surprising how I don't miss it at all. Personally, I didn't find it added to my quality of life at all. Most of everyone's entries (including mine) were a bit trite or merely comical, and then when I did have coffee with a friend all our news had already been shared! A funny feeling.
    I think my main reason for quitting facebook was my belief that if a friend loves or misses me, or if I love them, we will take the time and effort necessary for REAL contact with each other. On facebook, long 'expired' friendships were re-found, out from my distant past. It was interesting to catch up, but then since I left facebook, most of those people have not contacted me. It's reasonable. There's plenty of real active relationships right close to me, and it might be healthier if we all just focus on those in our life.
    Just my two cents worth, though. Your experience may be totally different.
    Blogging is similar to facebooking, but I find it far more personal and creative. It is certainly more fulfilling. It has the same danger, though, of eating up too much time in my day. Something I always have to be careful of.

  5. Hello Rhonda,
    I do use Facebook however I do not want everyone to see info about me. I am on FB as Tricia Long. I went into "privacy settings" from my profile page, then went to "custom". At that point I checked everything as "friends only". If you look for me all you should see is my name & my profile picture which at this time is a pic of my 3 cats. Once you click on "customize settings" you will find a button which will show you what other people will see when they look for your page.
    FB does change things from time to time so it is a good idea to check your settings every once in a while.
    Hope this helped.
    Pat in New Hampshire

  6. I'm not sure exactly which options to check, but you can make your account as private as you wish--my brother, for example, has his set so private that one cannot find him even by searching his (very unusual) name. I had to tell him I was on FB and let him find me. :)

    Also, even if someone looks at your profile and sees who you are friends with, they will not be able to see your friends' information unless they have their account set up to allow it. If they don't want their information to be visible, they probably already have their privacy options adjusted how they want them. I hope that helped a bit.

  7. Hi, Rhonda! I've been following your blog for awhile and love it! For the privacy on Facebook, if you go under the Privacy Settings ~ make sure you have all of your info, friends, pictures, etc. available only to your friends or for yourself. In the "connecting on facebook" be sure that everything is set for your friends or for yourself also. Under the "apps, games and websites" look for 1."info accessible through friends" unclick everything an 2." instant personalization" unclick that.3. "public search" unclick that also. Everything should now be unable to be seen.

    I hope that helps.

  8. Hi Rhonda, click on 'Account' top right of page, then click on 'Privacy Settings' then towards the bottom click 'Customise settings' on the right hand side check everything to 'friends only'

    Hope that helps x

  9. So glad you are OK. You are the first I thought of when I heard the news of the floods and the storms. Blessings to you and Hanno.

  10. Hi Rhonda. You can change the privacy settings on your Facebook account to allow only your friends to see your information. You can open it or restrict the access as much as you can.

    I'm glad you, Hanno and all your family is ok.

    Here is my posting for this week On my mind...

    Have a great weekend.


  11. Account--Privacy Settings--Customize Settings. You can pick who you want to see what. I have my FB account set so only my friends can see what I post--not the general public. I also have it to where nobody sees my friends posts unless I've personally commented on them. But, in the Customize Settings section you can personalize it to whatever you want. Hope that helps.

  12. I also have a love-hate of Facebook, and only use it when my kids are backpacking abroad. When people began coming out of the woodwork to be my friends and commented on my photos or activities (yet had never made the effort to contact me in previous 25 yrs) I decided to edit the privacy settings, and now have most set at "Friends Only", and . I hope the info below helps you out.

    *Sign into Facebook.
    *On the top of the page, on the far right of the Facebook banner is a tab title "Account".
    *From the "drop down" headings there, choose "Privacy Settings".
    *Click on that, which will open "Choose your privacy settings".
    *Under the title "Connecting on Facebook", you can click on "View Settings", which will open a page to show how your privacy settings are set at the moment, e.g. "Friends Only", "Friends of Friends", etc. which all have a drop-down box for you to change the settings.
    *When you've done that, return to the previous page (i.e. "Choose Your Privacy Settings").
    *Under the heading, "Sharing on Facebook" you can edit much more by clicking on "Customise Settings" (which is to the left of "Apply These Settings" in the graph area). There you have a very full page of settings to make changes to, and I suggest you do!

    Clear as mud? I hope not. Just go through each step slowly and see how you go. Best of luck

    As Hiliary Swank said, "We can do it Martha, we can do it!"

    Cherry Ripe

  13. Hello Rhonda I do not have a Facebook account for many reasons. There are a lot of good reasons to have one but I find more reasons not too. Good Luck.
    Here is what is on my mind today.

    Thank you

  14. Has another week rally passed all ready? WOW! And here it is February all ready.... Time for Valentines!


    Glad to know that you all are all right!

  15. On My Mind~~Longing
    ~~HUGS to You & Hanno & Family~~

  16. Dear Rhonda,

    glad to read you are okay. We received the message that there are no people who lost there lives due to te cyclone. Hope it will stay that way.

    I am also very curious to the upcoming facebook-answers. Hope there is a save way to work with it.

    Love from Holland.

  17. I speed-read the other comments and can only add that as you customize your settings, you can say everyone except _____________ and indicate who you might want to exclude from most of your options.

    There really ARE many ways to address privacy issues.

  18. My son is a computer science major at a well known university and even he has a little trouble figuring out Facebook, so that makes me feel better.

    But so far I have been able to easily go to the Privacy Settings. I have it all set to be as private as possible.

    I got on Facebook at the request of my daughter but it has turned out to be a great way to keep up with old friends.

    Also, local businesses are on Facebook and the advertise sales and such there.

  19. I'm of no help with facebook. I have never even seen it used before.Don't care to. If i want to chat to someone, I have the computer,telephone and letter writing. But call me old fashioned!

    This week cheese making has been on my mind


  20. On my mind today is Vanilla! I just got my beans in and I'm starting my first experiment of DIY vanilla extract today.


  21. I decided to join in "On my mind"

    My post is here:

    I can't offer any help for Facebook, I'm no longer a member, as I had issues with privacy also.

  22. Hello Rhonda
    My 'on my mind' post is ready = it can be found here
    Also don't have a Facebook account - as someone said, more reasons not to than have to
    Glad to hear you are fine
    Take care

  23. I'm a web developer, and FB's privacy controls are confusing even for me!

    One thing no-one else has mentioned is that you can also create "Lists" of people, and set up the controls for each list separately. When you add someone as a friend, you can assign them to a list.

  24. Can't help with facebook I'm afraid. Personally I can't stand it but DD and hubby have accounts and they seem to like it - goodness knows why though.

    On My mind today is Knitting. While waiting for the Victorian floods - I knitted. Kept me sane in anxious times.

  25. You have had me thinking back about nappies lately. They sure have changed, makes me feel so old.


  26. I go through phases of liking Facebook and then not going on it for weeks. With Spring coming I'll expect to be less and less on the computer.
    Here is what is on my mind:

  27. I don't like it. I closed my account a few weeks ago. You find yourself being drawn into it - I don't know why, but it happens.

  28. This is on my mind.


  29. On my mind is not worrying!http://theprofessorswife.blogspot.com/2011/02/worry-and-frugal-living.html

  30. Facebook is not "simple". Therefore I don't have it in my life. I tried it twice, and that was enough for me. I believe in having real contact with people. Perhaps I'm old fashioned, but I like it better that way. Lyn

  31. I LOVE my FB ! I have gotten in touch with so many friends from high school and we have had so much fun sharing old photos and memories as well as planning our next reunion. I don't get to see them often as we are many miles apart so the reunions are always a BLAST! And family that lives miles away can share picture's so we can all see how our children are growing. I have cousins planning to visit me that I haven't seen in years. It's just been a wonderful communication tool for me.

  32. Hi Rhonda, I really don't like Facebook. The big fellow went on a mission trip to Uganda a couple of years ago and when the group came back home the young ones decided everyone in the group should go on Facebook. Since then we have been bombarded with people we don't even know wanting to be his friend. since it was my email they used I get all this unwanted mail. He does not even check his Facebook page so I can't see the point in having it. I am also concerned about privacy. Even though we have nothing to hide I have concerns about what others can say about you. I feel if your friends what to catch up they can email, phone or read your wonderful blog.

    Blessings Gail

  33. I really couldn't say it better than RootAndTwig. I had an account for awhile and deleted it. Haven't missed it since. Took too much time to keep up with acquaintances; I'd rather spend the time serving and loving my close friends and family in real life.

  34. Good luck with Facebook Rhonda, you seem to have a lot of advice here so I am sure you will figure it out. Let us know how you get on, I too have an old account that don't use -- I could be completely wrong but I find FB rather banal.

    My This is on my mind is at: http://greeningtherose.blogspot.com/2011/01/on-my-mind.html

  35. Hi Rhonda! Glad you are safe and sound! Here's what's on my mind:

  36. Hi Rhonda, I decided not to go on Facebook. Privacy was my issue. FB seem to add "new and improved components" of their privacy options every now and then. If you haven't noticed and checked off the appropriate box....

    Good luck with the voting results - love your blog.

    Here's my Friday photo contribution


  37. Hi Rhonda,

    thanks for the advice about slowing down and enjoying this section of your blog.

    As for facebook - it's not for everyone...

    this is what's on my mind today:


  38. I've been meaning to close my FB account for a while. I just did it (thanks for the reminder). It was easy and feels good. Now I'm heading outside for a brisk walk on this cold and sunny afternoon.

  39. Good morning
    Anyone for a cuppa?

  40. Hi Rhonda, lovethis feature of your blog and now that I have started my own I can join in - wheeee. These are from an amazing bike ride I took in September 2009 while home visiting Mom on Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada


  41. Hi Rhonda, I am on facebook and I love the opportunity to "keep in touch" with some old friends. I also use facebook to build an awareness of the good work being done by my professional association. Having 2 separate accts is a very good idea, one for friends and family and one for your blog or business.

    Here is what's on my mind:
    I have finally dived into DIY household cleaners. Thanks for all the great information and inspiration to do this!

  42. i have to agree with most, fb is mostly a waste of time, i do check it once a day just to keep up with my out of town nephews etc. i have my settings to 'friends only'. i do find that those whom i havent seen in a long time ie old school or workmates, dont seem to respond much on fb anyway, and comments do seem to be more comical. then you get bombarded with requests for this and that stupid game or quiz, which i now just 'ignore'. would i recommend fb? NO

  43. I love your 'On My Mind' days Rhonda, and for the first time will join in.

    What's on my mind is at:

  44. Hi Rhonda, good idea to not go ahead with facebook. I've been on it 5 years and I waste SO much of my time. If I spent half as much time moving my butt as I do sitting staring at the screen on just FB alone, I'd likely be 20kg lighter and would probably have mastered another language as well as learned the piano by now! I saw 'The Social Network' the other night which basically got me questioning the point of having it. With your post this morning and the comments from your readers, I've started the process of giving it up.
    I've let everyone know that if they want my contact info they can ask for it. I'm logging off for a week and will check back then, before deactivation. All my photos are gone, personal info etc.
    Looking forward to having more peace and extra time in my day. Looking forward to having REAL relationships. Looking forward to hearing friend's voices over the phone, or seeing them in person, rather than hearing every little minute detail of that which they do each day thanks to the computer screen. I feel liberated :)

  45. Rhonda,
    If you are going to use Facebook to help market this blog, do not link it to your personal account. Set up a Facebook Fan Page for Down To Earth. I have details on how to do this, and keep it completely separate from your personal profile on my business blog here: http://www.lisawebdesigns.com I would highly advise to keep your personal profile totally separate from your blog. If you need some assistance, feel free to email me anytime. I've been enjoying your blog for a long time and would relish a chance to return the favor :-)

  46. School started today

    Today my little man started school. We organised a Mums party over facebook to celebrate the huge milestone of kids starting school. So of course on my mind was the school bus! and my little man


  47. Hi Rhonda,
    I had an account too, but I have deleted it. I don't like the idea that the system isn't water proof, so no account for me anymore. I didn't have much visitors, so that made it much more easy to stop with it.

    Been to vote too ; )

  48. You have done what I did some time ago Rhonda, that is, forget about Facebook, it is so impersonal and a waste of time. The people who 'want' to talk to you/I can still do so if they wish. This all reminds me of the long forgotten art of letter writing that was once so prevalent in our lives.

  49. Hi Rhonda,
    The whole face-book social network thing is a bit of a dilemma, but useful if family and friends are far flung over the world. It certainly caused some fascinating comments.

    My this is on your mind is here


  50. Hello! I hope I'm not too late!


    FB is very disappointing. You made the right decision.

  51. Goodmorning! I think I would delet my FB account if it weren't for my nephew in Afghanistan-he signs in as often as he can. I refuse to add any of the games or apps. to my page though.
    On my mind today is menu planning. It needs to be done, and now I'm jumpping on into it.


  52. I don't think I could be without my facebook. It's where I can connect with old friends, find deals from area businesses and see new posts from my favorite bloggers.
    Here's what on my mind today in the Snowy Northeast...
    Oh, I already voted for ya too!! :)

  53. Facebook keeps me connected to my family and friends throughout the world. I try not to overuse it, and I recently cleared out many people I was not really friends with, but still have more than 300 people on my facebook. I doubt I would ever delete it, but I am trying to use it less.

    Here's my post:

  54. RJ, I'm with you on FB! seems every day they find ways to grab private info and make it more public. ugh!
    On my mind as I wonder what's in store for 2011, I share a WACKY capture from last year's adventures:

  55. I've enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts on FB. I have deactivated and reactivated my account many times in the last few months. I don't like the "hold" that FB has on me. I went for almost a week without it, and enjoyed the peace and free time, and got so much more done around the house. I think FB is a real time waster!! I do still have my account, as I can check in on family and friends, but I no longer sit for hours on end, reading everybody's stuff!

  56. Ok, I posted my photo!

  57. proud to vote for you and your wonderful down-to-earth! and even went to e-mail to ensure my ballot for you has been VERIFIED, RJ!

  58. What is on my mind is here :


    Have a great week end!!

  59. On my mind today in Austin Texas...a winter wonderland...amazing and beautiful!


  60. You have no privacy on Facebook, no matter what you set things to. And deactivating isn't enough, you have to delete the account:

  61. I'm just now seeing this. You can definitely control who can see your friend's list. One of my friends makes her list comp letely invisible to everyone except her :) :) Also, you might want to consider a Facebook page that is a companion to your blog here. It's a way to interact with your readers, gain new fans...and still maintain your personal privacy :) :) Love and hugs from Oregon, Heather :)


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