tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post7251432611236887998..comments2024-03-28T15:55:53.792+10:00Comments on down to earth: NOW! or patience and restraintUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-3064734519682561382012-06-21T08:10:08.010+10:002012-06-21T08:10:08.010+10:00I'm with you! I sometimes feel the same, that ...I'm with you! I sometimes feel the same, that my waiting for our house is silly and we should just do what others around us do and get into heaps of debt, fill our home with mass produced stuff that's "in" and so on. But with you I resist and will keep resisting! Being able to live on 1 income with 2 small children is so so so valuable and we can be more generous with our money than our friends who seem to have it all. In the long run, like Rhonda says, we win and our family win. Good luck!!!!Amelianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-23757034260847468932012-06-20T17:07:34.172+10:002012-06-20T17:07:34.172+10:00This post is so familiar to me. I know that urge a...This post is so familiar to me. I know that urge and it has a sense of anxiousness about it, like grab it now before its gone feeling! My husband and I have been focussed on our goal for 8 long years, we now have no debt and more than enough to put a deposit on a homestead. My biggest battle was that we rent and always seeing my friends and neighbours renovating and doing serious decorating got me so itchy for my own place, somewhere to put my roots down. <br />I think your desision, Stacey, to remain on track shows much strength. A saying that has truely helped me over the yers and I hope it helps you too is "Don't sacrifice the future on the altar of the present" Also on your side is your partner with the same goal, it makes a difference when there is someone to encourage you to keep on keepin on!Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08652394321048906070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-91066349249550522532012-06-20T13:43:29.678+10:002012-06-20T13:43:29.678+10:00Stacy, You have such a great future ahead of you! ...Stacy, You have such a great future ahead of you! One idea I had that might help would be to create some sort of system that will help you visually see the progress you're making toward your goal. (I'm thinking of a poster or some other way of tracking your progress.) This might give you a sense of "reward" every time you look at it and help you hold of those feelings of want, want, want. I know that kind of thing helps motivate me and keeps me focused.Melissanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-59282692405791926282012-06-20T12:03:38.254+10:002012-06-20T12:03:38.254+10:00I don't have any answers for you. You do what ...I don't have any answers for you. You do what feels right for you and your hubby. Do not worry about other people and what they have or what they appear to have. For many years I was caught up in the mindset of having what the jones' have. It took some time to see what I have right in front of my nose. I may not have travelled I may not have reached the lofty goals I set myself in my job, but I'm not without. Its difficult to break away from that mindset but I found this blog, setting my own personal goals, lots of grounding activities-gardening, cooking etc, exercise and yoga helped. Set your goals and dreams and focus on theses. I also age with mobile phones. Now my husband and I don't have a home phone as we are on a good plan for mobiles, so mobile phones is the only way of contacting us via phone. I often switch mine off. I have Internet free days, facebook free days....while I enjoy the convince of modern technology (I have thoroughly embraced Internet banking etc) but sometimes we need a break from it all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-26926460832682162002012-06-20T10:30:22.512+10:002012-06-20T10:30:22.512+10:00Hi Stacy, the first thing that came into my mind w...Hi Stacy, the first thing that came into my mind when I read how frantic you were feeling with the desire to have everything, is to meditate. It is the most wonderful antidote for the craving that pulls at your guts. It helps with being mindful with what you are doing at any one time and keeps an inner calm that is priceless. I don't meditate as often as I should but I know when I get anxious or frantic it is time to get back into it. There is bound to be a meditation class nearby. Good luck you are on the right track. DaylaDaylahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04544561530618570093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-48805742265352712062012-06-20T09:37:57.527+10:002012-06-20T09:37:57.527+10:00P.S. I am finding the anti spam code very difficul...P.S. I am finding the anti spam code very difficult to read. Has it changed or are my eyes getting worse? <br />ElizaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-61668263421155985442012-06-20T09:37:00.014+10:002012-06-20T09:37:00.014+10:00Hello again. I really like the point raised by And...Hello again. I really like the point raised by Andrea. I don't have many answers for you, but I agree it is hard balancing long term with living life to the full. Perhaps Rhonda you could run a post on that and we could see what amazing responses we get? My husband and I are working furiously (in and out of the home) to pay off debt, save for our children's education etc. But meanwhile we feel life is passing us by in some respects and we'd like some adventure in our lives.<br /><br />ElizaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-18630083704375720802012-06-20T07:00:59.199+10:002012-06-20T07:00:59.199+10:00I'm thinking of the end line to a Chris Smithe...I'm thinking of the end line to a Chris Smither song....something like,'I'm not a passenger, I am the ride'. I battled a complexity of eating disorders as a teenager and one of the things I learned in my return to health was the precious spice of appetite and the delight of being simply, yet perfectly satisfied. There seems to be a timing.....a kind of natural ripening to everything which sadly much of the modern way of life runs rough shod over in it's frenzy for more and better which i honestly don't see making for any greater well being or happiness.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-10530544406775223662012-06-20T06:56:35.964+10:002012-06-20T06:56:35.964+10:00Stacey, this is something I'm struggling with ...Stacey, this is something I'm struggling with at this very moment as well. I am 32, my husband is 40 and we have 3 boys (5yr,3yr and 1yr) and we do have our acreage debt free from a lot of sacrific and hardwork. It seems like we have it all and we do but I still want more. I want the renovations to be done, I want a couple more properties for our retirement, I want another child, I want I want I want. I am doing all I can to re-think what is going on in my head and making sure I know the difference from I want and I need.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-17670224362074379502012-06-20T02:44:58.900+10:002012-06-20T02:44:58.900+10:00Dasher, I agree totally ! I like to think of this ...Dasher, I agree totally ! I like to think of this quote I found . No one knows who said it but here it is : If you change the way you look at things , the things you look at change. This kinda helps me to think before I rush into buying anything. Hope it helps someone else too.Eileenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08628994291364448173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-41554496246521381702012-06-20T02:39:51.977+10:002012-06-20T02:39:51.977+10:00Stacey , I think you are a very smart young woman ...Stacey , I think you are a very smart young woman with a man to help you decide what you want and where you want to be in at a certain time in your lives. One thing that may help you is to look around at the different places and houses you like and if you see something like you want , take a picture and put it on your bathroom mirror. That way you will see , every day , what you are working for. So good luck to you and your hubby.Eileenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08628994291364448173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-55112823632032841532012-06-19T23:46:25.313+10:002012-06-19T23:46:25.313+10:00Great dream Stacey! Keep going! Instant gratificat...Great dream Stacey! Keep going! Instant gratification is a trap. I see it all the time in the students I teach. My wife Mel and I (both early 30s) moved from suburbia to some property 3 months ago as the culmination of a few years of dreaming and planning - and it's wonderful! The chooks and vegies are doing great, and (thanks Rhonda!) we're making our own laundry liquid.<br /><br />A terrific lifestyle, well worth the pursuit!Ajhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17864626403753128107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-38453356989345362412012-06-19T21:58:31.165+10:002012-06-19T21:58:31.165+10:00What a great topic of discussion. It's so rele...What a great topic of discussion. It's so relevant in this day and age. I've just recently started to tune into this blog and I love the ideas and philosophies behind it. It's great to be amongst like minded people.<br />I can definitely identify with Stacey. I'm only relatively young myself- in my early 20's. I can say with pride I saved for my first car myself and paid for it all on my own. I watched friends take money from their parents, that they did not pay back so they could purchase their cars. I walked and had to catch public transport up until I had saved enough. It wasn't easy but what sense of achievement. I think you'll be just fine Stacey. You sound like you have a level head on your shoulders.<br />One interesting point made by Kathyros And Andrea that really hit home for me is the notion of simple living and what I call (for lack of a better phrase) making the most of opportunities. My partner went to America to do teaching. He did not have all the money he needed saved and he did not get paid enough in America to cover expenses. He took out a credit card to travel and is still paying it back now, even though his travels were some time ago. <br />He has often questioned if his travels were the best decision he could have made based on his financial situation at the time. The memories and experiences from his travels are priceless and they have made part of who he is today. He took a once in a life time opportunity and I don't think he regrets it one bit and I definitely don't think he should feel guilty or be judged for wanting something "now". We all make decisions in our lives that we believe are for the best.<br />Sorry to write so much- this topic has really resonated with me. Thanks Rhonda and Stacey for such a great topic for discussion!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-49966114524592506432012-06-19T21:05:13.988+10:002012-06-19T21:05:13.988+10:00Wow! So many responses!!
Rhonda, and to every on...Wow! So many responses!! <br /><br />Rhonda, and to every one who has posted, thank you for the kind words of encouragement. I feel less alone seeing all these comments of people having the same feelings. I felt that it was just me- I never heard anyone talk about having a trait of WANTING WANTING WANTING and seemed to feel badly about it. Certainly no one talks about it openly and the pressures of feeling like they can't keep up within my circle of friends/family.<br /><br />My husband and I are continuing on the savings wagon and living frugally. I am always amazed what a wonderful man I married who not only allowed me to quit my high-paying job but be supported financially by him as I go back to university for the third time - I am 26, and yes, I have an addiction to education! :) <br /><br />When the time comes, we are open to options of homeschooling our children if we don't find a system/school that fits with our values or I will continuing teaching whilst they attend school. We have very clear ideas in our mind of values, ethics and strengths we wish to install in our children and have spoken extensively on parenting styles so there will be a united partnership. <br /><br />There are times that it becomes harder to live this life - friends travelling overseas, others having babies, some buying their second property etc. Those are the hard times. But my husband reminds me that people will always have judgement on what your "next step" should be in your stage of life. We found this out after dating a year when people would remind us we should be getting engaged (we didn't until three years), then we MUST get married within the year (we didn't) and then we MUST start trying for a baby on our honeymoon (again nope!) and now it is that we MUST buy because its the next step to do......<br /><br />Our choice in deferring children and rushing into a mortgage has been done thoughtfully because in the long run we want to ensure that we never have to struggle and live beyond our means. I feel so appreciative that you took the time Rhonda to reaffirm to me that I am on the right track. I just need to "sit" with the uncomfortableness of WANTING WANTING WANTING and recognise it for what it is - media, technology, advertising, peer pressure etc - and then let it go. <br /><br />Bless you all. xxxStaceynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-66644595716463893762012-06-19T20:27:11.796+10:002012-06-19T20:27:11.796+10:00Totally agree with the previous post. Perhaps if ...Totally agree with the previous post. Perhaps if we spent more energy enjoying all the things that we DO have and less time on the things we don't have...and in doing so become more grateful, we would be happier. I also think that there is alot of judgement and assumptions out there.When we don't always know what goes on behind closed doors. Eg...s/he must be so much happier than me because they have a bigger house when in fact s/he are totally miserable because they are working too much and still cannot afford the repayments? Just remember things aren't always what they seem. Be happy, be grateful and be content with all the beautiful things you have going for you and you will reap the rewards. You sound very smart and sensible and you will reach your dream. I would imagine you will be so much more appreciative of it too when you know how hard you have worked to get there. Goodluck on your journey.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-84640684972318270592012-06-19T20:03:22.452+10:002012-06-19T20:03:22.452+10:00Great question Stacey - I bet there aren't man...Great question Stacey - I bet there aren't many of us not identifying totally with these feelings of frustration and impatience! I blogged about this subject recently as part of my Frugal Friday series.<br />Our long term goal is to move around 700 miles away, to one of the Islands we visit regularly, and be as self-sufficient as possible there while working whatever jobs we need to as part of a "patchwork lifestyle" in order to pay our way. The key to this is is having no housing costs once we are there, and the key to that is of course paying off our current mortgage. On the terms on which we took it out, that would happen in 2028 - however as a result of overpaying we are currently on track to get it gone in just 6 years from now. There are times when we have felt we just wanted to up and go, and start working on the final part of our dream RIGHT NOW - it's not practical of course - we need to know that the bricks and mortar we end up with there are ours, with not a penny owed to anyone for them, only that way can we then live the life we want.<br />Focus on the end dreams Stacey - the harder you work now in terms of being frugal, and thrifty, the quicker those will come about. The better also for you once they have come about, as you will already have skills & habits ingrained that will last you a lifetime. Rhonda is right - YOU are in front of your friends, not they in front of you - they'll come to realise this - probably when you throw a home-catered party to celebrate your mortgage being paid off, whilst they still have years to go on theirs.Robynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04175531371914205163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-34916161014702085922012-06-19T19:54:03.717+10:002012-06-19T19:54:03.717+10:00Thanks everyone for this, such a great discussion....Thanks everyone for this, such a great discussion. Was it Audrey who worries about being too frugal? I was widowed in my twenties so I know that it is a balance between the present and the future. If you found out tomorrow that you were dying what would you do? Take the children skiing? Travel together? Have other adventures? If yes, that s your answer, if you wouldn't change a thing then keep on going as you are. Much of what Rhonda is doing is living well in the present, as well as securing their future.Lauranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-62807049784960060102012-06-19T17:44:24.243+10:002012-06-19T17:44:24.243+10:00Thank you so much for this post Rhonda! This is so...Thank you so much for this post Rhonda! This is something I struggle with all the time (in fact I wrote a blog post on this subject just the other day!) I am horribly, horribly impatient and most of my dreams seem so off, which can be very disheartening. I put far too much energy into looking forward and wishing everything would hurry up, when I know I would be much better off using my energy to savour the happy moments of the present and make small changes now that will help us later (like saving for a home deposit!) It's comforting to know I'm not alone in this struggle...<br /><br />Katie xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-73034599061957172562012-06-19T15:33:57.445+10:002012-06-19T15:33:57.445+10:00Starting a gratitude diary made a huge difference ...Starting a gratitude diary made a huge difference for me. Looking over the five things I'm grateful for each night I can't help but notice they're hardly ever material things. Mine are usually "I am grateful for<br />*fresh peppermint tea made with mint from the garden<br />*finding a great book at the library<br />*perfect washing weather (something I'm grateful for today after all that rain!)<br />*my giggling baby girl<br />*supportive husband<br />etc"<br />This simple habit has slowly changed the way I look at my life. One day I noticed I was really content rather than wanting more, more, more. I do it every night in bed before I drift off to sleep and my last thoughts of the day are happy grateful ones.<br /><br />I also try to meditate everyday. This helps keep me calm and focused.Dashernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-53828973110649018592012-06-19T14:38:20.604+10:002012-06-19T14:38:20.604+10:00Stacey, keep your strength of character, girl, and...Stacey, keep your strength of character, girl, and give yourself a pat on the back for sticking to your plans. When you do achieve your dream, you will look back and realise that the time went very quickly, after all. We aren't born with patience as you know; it is cultivated in us by various life situations/events just as is happening to you now.<br /><br />In the time when you aren't at Uni, could you be learning new skills for your future simple life, or doing some handcrafts? If you can see progress being made in these small ways, it might give you some measure of satisfaction and contentment in the "waiting" time.<br /><br />Re mobile phones - It amazes me that having a mobile phone seems to be obligatory! Neither my husband nor myself have one and have no desire to do so. Like you, Rhonda, I don't want to - or need to - be contactable at any hour of the day.<br /><br />Do people ever wonder how we got by in the "olden days"? When I was a young married mum (30 years ago) we lived in a house that didn't have a phone - a landline as it is called nowadays. Yet life went on quite normally. There was a lot more letter writing to distant family and friends (ah, the joy of getting a proper letter in the mail!) and always a public phone if something was urgent.<br /><br />Lyn in northern New South Wales.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-64368513946308676842012-06-19T14:26:53.738+10:002012-06-19T14:26:53.738+10:00Wow what a lot of responses there are today, and t...Wow what a lot of responses there are today, and they are so wonderfully positive. Stacey I hope you feel all this support. After reading all this I reflected on the fable of the tortise and the hare. We can be the tortise, and we can be happy with that and have a wonderful time on our journey to a simple life.<br />I was bought up that only a house/farm or large farm equipment were the things to go into debt for, not a car, not a new fridge and certainly not a tv etc. It is what I hope that I am teaching my kids. For myself I have to tell myself "Do I NEED this?" Most of the time the answer is no. The item stays on the shelf. We have made the shift to buying special things for the kids only on their birthdays. <br />Uni.mum I have the same trouble with my 9 yo. He so badly wanted a ds and me to be the one to buy it. I said he could buy it with his own pocket money. He was only getting $4 a week, took him for ages (taught paitence) and now sits on his shelf. As for the x-box I send him to his friends place. Irony is he thinks he mates place is the best, yet his mate thinks here is the best because I chase them outside to play.milkmaid74noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-75370817381207136952012-06-19T13:49:39.232+10:002012-06-19T13:49:39.232+10:00I have total respect for Stacey and how she is ask...I have total respect for Stacey and how she is asking these questions. My only suggestion is for Stacey and her husband to do what is right by their dreams and ethos. To compare to others is a waste of energy and the only winner there is usually the retailers. Be true and be happy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-73551614731148695782012-06-19T13:26:06.674+10:002012-06-19T13:26:06.674+10:00Thank you Stacey for asking such a wonderful quest...Thank you Stacey for asking such a wonderful question and thank you Rhonda for posting it here for us all to read. <br /><br />Your words Stacey felt like they were coming out of my own mouth. I began university this year (I'm studying to become a teacher also) as I knew that once I had my degree I would be on a decent salary and I would also be able to be there for my school-aged child because of the fantastic working hours of teachers. However I really struggle trying to live off only one income. I often think about deferring university and just going out to work. But then I remember that if I went out to work now I would have to put my child in before and after school care, I would probably be doing something I don't enjoy, I wouldn't be earning as much money as I would if I had a degree and in the future will I have the skills I need to get back in the workforce if I take time off again to have more children? These questions help put things in perspective for me. Do you and your hubby have children? Or are you planning to?<br /><br />I also struggle with the WANT WANT WANT of life! Right now I want a bigger house on more land, I want to live over east, I want more children, I want more money, I want a degree, I want a better car, I want to take a holiday but on top of all that I want to live a simple life. Go figure? I completely contradict myself. I think you're on the right track. Not long now until you have finished university and you'll be out earning money again which will help tremendously with your savings! The end goal is in sight, don't give up now! You're so close!<br /><br />And lastly thanks Rhonda for talking about mobile phones! I recently wrote a blog post on the same issue. The instantaneous nature of technology and what it is doing to us is quite sad. I'm 23 years old and I hate that people expect me to always answer my phone. This weekend I couldn't be bothered answering it as I was busy doing things around the house but the calls didn't let up. Eventually I told my partner to answer it and it turns out my family were worried something had happened to me just because I hadn't answered my phone. I also saw those toys advertised for babies pouchiemumma and I was absolutely appalled and disgusted!! An ipad or an iphone has no role in a baby's development. This is something I feel very strongly about. At the moment my 5 year old is asking me for a nintendo ds for Xmas because all his friends have one. I simply said "you're way too young, ask me again when you're ten". Technology interferes with family time enough, I'm not going to be responsible for bringing anymore of it into the home.<br /><br />Anyway sorry for the rant. I really enjoyed the blog post today!!uni.mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15570387356522690080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-9231295470840697762012-06-19T13:18:55.701+10:002012-06-19T13:18:55.701+10:00I too am working hard at spending my time mindfull...I too am working hard at spending my time mindfully. <br />One thing I have learnt is that instant gratification doesn't bring satisfaction but often brings debt and regret.<br />GillianAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5089828552519076506.post-84844901910339593082012-06-19T12:28:36.994+10:002012-06-19T12:28:36.994+10:00Maybe Stacey and her husband could rent a small pr...Maybe Stacey and her husband could rent a small property?,I know in the country you can often find cheap farm rentals,its just all about change really too and how much you want to live on the land and try to make it happen in other ways that could be faster while they save still? (sorry for posting twice... I should get back to homeschooling now,we just had our lunchbreak!,lol..just was thinking on this thread while I was getting lunch ready!)<br />CarleeneAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com