14 June 2010

Small moments

Despite being at home surrounded by what should be my housework, lately I've slipped out of my daily rhythm and life has become a disorganised and frazzled. My good friend Bernadette is gravely ill now, I've been visiting her in hospital and my sister Tricia, is visiting us so we've been talking, knitting, sewing and socialising and apart from a bit of cooking and washing, not much has been done here.  Everything is upside down.  Right now, Tricia and Hanno are awake and watching TV!  Usually when I rise to write, the house is as quiet as a mouse, but can I hear the sounds of the world cup on TV and I know if Australia scores a goal  there will be cheering and clapping. Uh oh, Germany scored. 

It's a public holiday here today - we have this ridiculous holiday for the Queen's birthday, it's not her birthday and even in the UK they don't celebrate this.  I'm not working today so I'll try to get back into the rhythm of my normal day.  It's easy working to a rhythm - you start with one familiar thing, others follow in a flow one after the other, you don't need to think about much and the work is done.  But as easy as it is, it doesn't take much to stop that flow, just one thing needs to be out and I'm lost.


Today's plan is to make the bed (I changed and washed the sheets yesterday), make breaksfast, get bread on to rise, clean up the kitchen, sweep the floor, water the garden and the plants at the front of the house.  Funnily enough, bread seems to be the stabilising influence in my routine.  When bread is rising, all  the other chores just fall into place.  Later this morning, I'll visit Bernadette, who is now at home.  It was her wish so her son took her back  home yesterday.  Later in the week the rest of her family will arrive so if I go today, I'll have some quiet time with her without getting in the way of family things.  I'm not quite ready to say goodbye yet.

When I come home, I'll clean up the bathroom.  It's a bit of a disaster at the moment because Hanno did a major repair in there.  There had been an unseen leak which seeped into the wall cavity, rotting the timbers in the door frame.  Hanno took them all out, replacing the rotting timbers, and then covered it all in again.  Cost of the repair was $19.  He had spare timber in the shed, got the gyprock free from the supplier (they were offcuts) and just had to buy sealer and anti-mould.  It was a big job, it took a week to complete, but now the bathroom is operational again - it just needs a good clean.

I haven't had time to take photos lately but hope to do a few this afternoon.  Apart from that, all I have to do is cook dinner and things will be back to normal - at least for today.  I wrote a post a few years ago call The Familiar Rhythm of the Unremarkable and that's exactly how I feel about my daily routine.  It's like an anchor.  It holds me firm when I get pushed this way and that and it shows me that while life has many changes and ups and downs, much of my home life remains the same; small moments, ever constant and a safe haven from the unspeakable.
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43 comments

  1. How interesting to read that you have a holiday for the Queen's birthday - and we don't in the UK as you say. We watched the Trooping of the Colour on tv on Saturday- my husband's brother in law has taken part in years gone by, I believe, so it is of interest to them. I marvel at how the horses cope with all the noise!
    Sorry to read about your friend's illness - and it is quite understandable for you to be frazzled when you have so much to think about. Keep well!

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  2. SO sorry to hear about your friends illness. Sounds like a nice visit with your sister even though your schedule is off, With the baking of the bread I think you got somewhat back on track.The bathroom what a mess it sounds like -so happy it is all finished and in good working order. Do take care of your self and continue inspiring us on the simple life. Blessings

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  3. Oh Rhonda, so sorry to hear about Bernadette. I'm thinking of her, and of you. Hope you get the quiet time with her that you need. Don't be too hard on yourself about losing your rhythm, it's understandable at times like this. Hope your bread making stabilises you a little.

    Best wishes and love to all of you, including Bernadette

    xx

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  4. Hope your day goes OK. Not sure what else to say really, sorry to hear that your friend is not well. Best wishes Bridget

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  5. finallygettingtoeven.comJune 14, 2010 7:00 am

    I am sorry to hear about your dear friend. It is good to hear that she was allowed to go home, to her home where she can be as comfortable as possible. I am sure that she appreciates that you are there with her.

    I understand how you can easily get off your routine and the whole day becomes amiss. Things will get back to normal, just hang in there.

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  6. I am so so sorry to hear about your friend. I hope that you get your quiet time you need with her. You, your family, Bernadette and her family are all in my thoughts and prayers.
    Jenny

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  7. I am so sorry to hear about your friend,Beradette. My good friend Alex,passed away last year,and she was only in her mid forties.It is so difficult..my thoughts are with you,and with Bernadette as well.

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  8. Thoughts are with you all, be gentle on yourself during this time

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  9. Hi Rhonda, I know exactly where you are at the moment,when my darling friend Eva got the news that she was terminal and her husband not a cring man there was just our other friend Margy and I as her daughter lived far away and could only come once in a while,my world became as yours is,for a year my rhythm became a different one, prayers for Eve on waking,work,hospital,hospital washing feed my family try to get a few things done,fall exhausted into bed,suddenly it is morning again and the days were all the same.I would not change that time for anything,when you have time with your friend on your own say everything in your heart,she needs to know how you feel and that makes her feel more comfy,I did this I told her how much a difference she made to my life,that I loved her and would miss her dreadfully and that is she did not save me a seat "up there" I would be cross,she laughed and laughed.she told me she loved me while she could still speak,Margy said she would talk to her when the time got closer but Eve lost her speach 2 months before passing and Margy regrets so much not having a "talk"I will have you an Bernadette in my prayers and there will be time to get back into rhythm because work always awaits. Love Carole

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  10. So Sorry to hear that Bernadette is not so good. At times like this, we just need to keep things ticking over and be flexible & kind to ourselves, but there is also much comfort in routine & familiarity. Blessings to you all.

    Kim
    P.s Sorry about the footy result, but I bet Hanno's pleased.

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  11. I'm so sorry to hear that your dear friend is so poorly and hope that you are able to have some time with her. I really need to develop a 'rhythm' and so I shall be reading your post and taking inspiration.

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  12. Any grave illness really turns your world upside down, makes you take stock and revaluate everything. I hope she is as comfortable as she can be.

    We were sitting up watching the soccer as well, a friend cycled over to join us in the dark and cold of the morning. Somehow the smell of sourdough cooking in my oven makes the 4-0 score that bit more bearable... sort of.

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  13. I so enjoy when you post about routine...finding a comfortable rhythm is something that challenges me. Routines rarely stick for long before something comes along to derail me. I've not yet found that one stabilizing task yet. I suppose until the children get older the only stability will be change. I'm enjoying the pursuit anyway.
    Once again, I thank you for your words and consistent encouragement.

    I am so sorry about your friend...my sympathy is with you as you move through this journey along side her.

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  14. I am very sorry to hear about your friend's illness - I hope that she is finding peace within all this love being showered upon her, and I hope you find some peace within your rhythm.

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  15. All the best Rhonda. I hope the everyday tasks give you some comfort while your emotional world is tilting off its axis a little. xx

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  16. So sorry to hear about your friend. My thoughts are with you and with her. I understand exactly what you mean about needing your home to be a peaceful place so that you can be anchored, and I also think that having a fair bit to do will help you deal with a difficult time. Take care of yourself.

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  17. Thinking of you and Bernadette. Be kind to yourself.

    cheers Kate

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  18. Dear Rhonda
    You, Bernadette and your family's will be in my thought and prayers.I hope you find comfort and encouragement in all your well wishes of your readers.Just like you do for all of us all the time.Yesterday I was feeling the same derailed.But today I read your post and went straight into my old routine and felt peace and achievement!I hope you feel the same comfort in your routine today, as it sounds like it will be a difficult day.
    Blessings Linda

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  19. You and Bernadette are both in my thoughts. She is lucky to have such a good friend as you.

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  20. My thoughts are with you and Bernadette Rhonda. It is nice you have your sister with you during this difficult time.
    Take care.

    Patricia

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  21. Dearest Rhonda,
    My heart goes out to you, so sorry to hear about Bernadette. Hope you get your time to sit with her and hold her hand.I know having a friend like you will be of greatest comfort to her. There for her always and to carry out her wishes. Tell her everything you feel.
    Many Blessings
    Lors

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  22. Thoughts and prayers go out to you and Bernadette, and all who have loved her.
    Yvette

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  23. Sorry to hear about your friend, Bernadette. Sending some (((hugs))) her way. She will be in my thoughts tonight during prayers. (((hugs))) again.

    My weekends are ALWAYS upside down. I enjoy my weekends, but I also like Monday. Routines make me feel better. There are no routines here on the weekend.

    sending (((hugs))) to you Rhonda for the whole coming week.

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  24. Familiarity of routine can be an enormous comfort at any time but especially when we are facing a crisis. I hope that the familiar, the rhythm of the seasons and home provide you comfort in the days ahead Rhonda. I am so glad that Bernadette has managed to go home as she wished.

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  25. Just know that so many are thinking of you and your dear friend, and sending our prayers. During (and after) a similar situation I found that what bits of routine I could stick to were all that kept me from getting "lost". I needed an anchor, and some of the smallest things (like feeding the dog) kept me connected when it would have been so easy to let everything slip into chaos.
    Take comfort in knowing that a friendship like you have with Bernadette will never end...it stays with you always.
    much love,
    Catherine

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  26. Hi Rhonda. Just a quick note to say I'm sorry that your friend is on the other side of the hill. I can remember when my mother was gravely ill, and only weeks before she passed, some of my fondest memories of that awful time were of us in our pj's having sleepovers in her room. I breathed in every smell of her that I could, to travel in my memory with me for the rest of my life. I hope you have many opportunities to do similar things. xoxo

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  27. Rhonda, I felt for you as you wrote about your dear friend. I also felt glad that she has gone home, and will have her family around her soon....my father passed this way and although terribly sad for all of us, it was in a way, very special to have him at home for us to care for.
    So much nicer all round, than being in hospital with strangers, ....
    I hope you get to have some special time with her , to sit and say all you want to.......x Suzanne

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  28. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Another part of the rythym of life but not really a welcomed one. I hope you get to spend many more moments with her that you will treasure.

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  29. Hi I am sorry to hear about your friend, my thoughts are with you and her.
    If you are a civil servant in the UK you do actually get the Queen's birthday as a holiday. x

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  30. So sorry about your friend's illness. Hope you get back to your routine soon, I know it always helps me when I feel out of sorts.
    Konnie

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  31. You've been and still are a great friend to Bernadette. In some way perhaps it is no accident your sister is also there with you right now as support as you come to terms with your friend's illness. Thinking of you both.......

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  32. We are sorry to hear about your friend's illness. We Airedales are known to provide comfort when times are dire so please see Alice for some special attention, it'll ease the pain a little...

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  33. I am so sorry about Bernadette and will keep her in my prayers. As others have said, I'm sure that's why you are out of whack -- it is because your world is out of whack.

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  34. I wish you strength and laughter during this difficult time Rhonda.
    Take care xx

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  35. I'm thinking of you Rhonda in this difficult time.
    xxxSue

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  36. Thinking of you and your dear friend Bernadette. A sad time for you but it's nice to think she is not alone and has the comfort of close friends and family. Take care of yourself,

    Joolz

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  37. I am so sorry to hear about Bernadette. I will pray for her and you and all her loved ones during this time.

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  38. So sorry to read that you are losing a friend.

    Routine seems to calm the day.

    -Brenda

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  39. I have been ill with bronchitis for awhile so I've only been reading and not commenting.

    The thing I have learned the most from being ill is how much I miss those daily "gotta do's" which add up to a warm and cozy house. :)

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  40. We have "Victoria Day" here in Canada too. It is May 24 here.

    Change in our lives and daily routine is stressful. I know what you mean about the bread rising. For me it is garden/yard work. Its relaxing and helps me center my chaotic thoughts.

    In the winter it is the wildlife painting that does that for me.

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  41. I'm so very sorry to hear of Bernadette's health worsening. I am very glad she will be able to be home instead of the hospital. God bless her in the days ahead and please let her know that people out here from your blog care and send their kindest thoughts.

    When such things happen in life we cannot help but to stop and do what must be done and everything else takes a back seat. It is far more important to spend time with those we love.

    Take care, Rhonda.

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  42. Hi Rhonda,
    I am very sorry to hear about Bernadette. You write about her so often she seems very familiar. I am definitely thinking of all of you and sending good wishes for her comfort. I, too, dislike those times when everything feels off kilter and routines are upended and the thing you crave most is the normalcy of your home, but can't quite seem to find it. I have no doubt you will find it again, though. Make sure to take as much time as you need- we'll all still be here :)
    All the best,
    Liz

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  43. I appreciated this post as it is very applicable to me at the moment. I have just finished my postgraduate studies for the semester and am LOVING the prospect of getting back into a slow rhythm that will enable our family to enjoy a more relaxed and organised life. I am looking forward to being able to do simple things like IRONING and keeping house - all very important, and ultimately more important than any postgraduate degree.....
    Thanks again, Rhonda.
    Tracy (Brisbane)

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